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Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews Summerslam ’99

WWF Summerslam ‘99
August 22, 1999
Minneapolis, MN

There’s an argument to be made that right here, at this point, we were at the highest level the WWF would ever be. RAW Ratings were out of orbit. PPV buys were huge. The WWF was beating down WCW Nitro so badly Eric Bischoff was weeks away from losing his job. Vince McMahon was only a couple of months away from the WWF going public. Some argued that Stone Cold Steve Austin was a level above what Hulk Hogan was in the 80s. Other WWF stars began to transcend wrestling. The Rock was climbing fast toward megastar status. Mick Foley wrote a New York Times Best Seller. To say the WWF was riding high here was an understatement.

But there were some cracks in the armor as well. Stone Cold’s body had slowly begun to betray him. The Undertaker’s knees were going out on him. Foley’s body was pretty much at the point of done.

Would Summerslam ’99 be a continuation of the dominance the WWF had shown over the last year and a half…or would the wheels begin to fall off here?

The Card

We go over a year and a half of The McMahons screwing Stone Cold to explain why Jesse Ventura is our referee tonight.

Ventura and Triple H go face to face right away in the back. Ventura lays down the law, and HHH says he’ll break every rule.

We get some Y2J after that with ”Harold” Finkel. Jericho was hilarious in his early WWF days.

Intercontinental Championship and European Championship
D’Lo Brown (Both Champs) vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett comes out with Debra and wow at Debra. Jarrett gets awesome heat when he sends Debra to the back…and then D’Lo brings her back out!

I don’t want to spoil it here, but there’s some really smart booking going on. JR on commentary brings up that Jarrett doesn’t want to win by countout when D’Lo was on the outside…just as Debra was looking to help D’Lo up.

The crowd is super hot for D’Lo. Huge reaction on the running powerbomb.

Jeff Jarrett pins D’Lo Brown to win both titles in 7:28. Debra and Jarrett distract the ref…allowing Mark Henry to run in and betray D’Lo with a guitar shot. Jarrett gets the win…and it turns out Debra, Jarrett and Henry were all on the same page! Jarrett would hand the European title to Henry. Fun opener with a good story and a great crowd! Strange how both men wouldn’t have much of a WWF career left. Jarrett would bolt for WCW in two months…D’Lo sadly accidentally paralyzed Droz, and was never the same.

Michael Cole interviews a wooden Edge and Christian. Of course, both would end up being great on the mic.

Tag Team Turmoil

The winner of this would become the #1 Contender to the Tag Team Title.

Edge and Christian begin against The New Brood…Matt and Jeff Hardy.

Something the Attitude Era did was create stars. Matt and Jeff were outright jobbers until 1999.

Fun start, although the match so far is a bit slow considering the four men in the ring.

Screw the start. Edge spears Jeff Hardy by jumping off the barricade just as Jeff was jumping off the other side. What? Matt comes off the top to the outside with a moonsault for good measure.

Christian pins Matt to eliminate the Hardys…and Mideon and Viscera are next. Can’t we just have the Hardys again?

We last saw Viscera at Summerslam when he was Mabel and in the WWF Title match. Crazy how much changed in four years.

I always thought Vis’s spin kick was awesome.

Viscera accidentally avalanches Mideon, then Edge and Christian double dropkick Vis out. Spear to Mideon, and Edge gets the pin. Prince Albert and Droz are next.

Not much here…Edge gets the Downward Spiral for the win. Acolytes, the favorites, are next.

The Hollys come out early, and Bradshaw takes out Christian with the Clothesline From Hell and we get a heel vs. heel finale. What a disappointing finish. I like both teams, but running it with one face team (E and C) means they needed to get to the end.

The Acolytes win when Faarooq pinned Hardcore Holly in 17:27. The Hollys argue and that leads to the spinebuster. This was fun with Edge and Christian…but after that who really cared?

I’m pretty sure the whole Al Snow think jumped the shark when he started talking to other things other than Head.

Road Dogg here…but it’s Y2J time!

Jericho was crazy over. The crowd goes nuts for the countdown.

Jericho wrote in Undisputed that this was his first great segment…and he’s 100% right. Jericho’s absolutely awesome here.

This would lead to Jericho’s WWF debut match at Smackdown…which was a bit of a let down (as was Jericho up to Survivor Series).

Hardcore Championship
Big Bossman© vs. Al Snow

One of the most creative starts to a match…Al Snow jumps up on the set and dives onto Bossman as soon as he goes through the curtain. Nice!

Road Dogg does an on the scene commentary that’s more annoying than not to be honest.

Bossman just grabs a random guy’s crutch to hit Al Snow. That’s a great heel move.

Match goes all the way across the street into a bar. Have to say, this is pretty fun. Maybe I just haven’t seen one of these in a while.

Al Snow pins Bossman to win the title in 7:25. Bossman takes a shot a Road Dogg and Road Dogg responds with a nightstick shot to Bossman to let Snow win the title. For some reason The Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards attack Snow. Hell if I remember why.

Women’s Championship
Ivory© vs. Tori

I think Tori’s pretty bad as a wrestler, so I don’t have high hopes here.

Eat your heart out Cesaro…Ivory with a big swing!

Ivory retains by pin in 4:11. Some weird finish with a flying sitting drop. Ivory tries to disrobe Tori, but Luna makes the save.

Lion’s Den Match
Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

While I didn’t realize it then, Shamrock being this far down the card should have been a sign that he wasn’t long for the WWF (this was actually his last PPV match).

The Lion’s Den is a UFC style octagon.

I don’t really like the idea of this match. A No DQ match would have been fine.

Ken Shamrock wins by KO in 9:05. A few Kendo Stick shots take Blackman out and the ref counts him out. I didn’t really like this at all. I don’t even remember what else Blackman did until “Head Cheese” in early 2000. If Shamrock was leaving, he should have put Blackman over.

”Love Her or Leave Her”
Shane McMahon vs. Test

Is Test wins, Shane stays out of Test and Stephanie McMahon’s relationship. If Shane wins, Test and Steph break up. No option for “Steph marries HHH instead though”.

Test opens by taking Shane down with tons of aggression. Where was that during the rest of Test’s career?

The Mean Street Posse get their own couch in the crowd! This matters because Test tosses Shane into all three of them which was a pretty funny spot.

Did Shane just bust out a Sky Twist Press? Holy hell!

I believe this was the debut of the flying Shane elbow off the top through the Announcer’s Desk…and it’s pretty awesome. A perfect hit.

Patterson and Brisco come out and own the Posse. Brisco with an awesome street sign shot!

Test pins Shane McMahon in 12:14. I would have bet money after this one that Test was set for multiple World Titles in his future. Somehow…this was the peak of Test. He only went downhill from here. In retrospect, Shane’s “richest backyard wrestler” shtick probably carried this. Nonetheless, this match was really good. In a lame twist, Shane would ignore this stipulation on Smackdown.

World Tag Team Championship
Kane and X-Pac© vs. Big Show and Undertaker

I never really got into the whole Taker controlling Big Show deal when Show chokeslammed Taker through the ring once, but whatever.

I did enjoy the Kane-X-Pac tag team though, if just for Kane’s character development. It gave him something past being Undertaker’s brother…even though it didn’t completely work and ultimately weakened Kane’s character. At least they took a chance and tried.

Lawler with a great line: “I’ll never forgive that idiot X-Pac for taking this monster and making him a human being.” Not a bad point there.

Kane debuts the “road” jersey here, which is a look he should have went with for the rest of his career honestly.

I think it was obvious at the time that Taker and Show were winning…and I think having the Acolytes win earlier was supposed to give fans the idea Kane and Pac were winning.

One of the bigger surprises of the match is Kane playing face in peril. Match is surprisingly working since we have Big Show, Kane and 1999 Undertaker in here.

Undertaker just turned X-Pac into a wishbone. Ouch.

Undertaker and Big Show win the title in 12:00. Big Show actually gets the chokeslam, but Show does a one foot on the chest cover and Taker is livid when Pac kicks out. Taker shows him how it’s done with a Tombstone. So much better than it had any right to be. Multiple stories worked out here concurrently. X-Pac forced a tag late to try to prove he could hang with the three monsters. Undertaker continues to “teach” the Big Show. Well done all around.

Kiss My Ass Match
The Rock vs. Billy Gunn

Billy Gunn brings a”full-sized” lady for the Rock to kiss on the ass when he loses.

Rock is megaover, of course.

The first half of this is pretty dull. Some fighting down the ramp but nothing really inspiring going on.

It does pick up back in the ring, especially with a nice neckbreaker counter from Gunn.

Pretty good set-up for the Fameasser…but the match goes downhill after that.

Gunn brings in the woman, but Rock counters and Gunn’s face goes in her ass. Great.

The Rock pins Gunn in 10:11. Rock Bottom, People’s Elbow. That goodness that’s over. Match was getting kinda good too. Gunn would be back in the midcard with the Outlaws in a few weeks (and was a good guy for some reason again right after this).

WWF Championship – Jesse Ventura is the Special Referee
Stone Cold Steve Austin© vs. Triple H vs. Mankind

There was a pretty convoluted story to even get to this point that had Chyna as the #1 Contender. Less said the better. I don’t even know storyline wise why Mankind was added either, although backstage there were two possible reasons (I’ll get into that later). According to the video, Mankind won it from Chyna. Works I guess. HHH and Mankind then did the pinning one another at the same time deal (which a variation was used for Summerslam 2000 as well) to get our triple threat.

In case anyone was wondering, Stone Cold was still the most over man in wrestling by far. His pop is nuts.

THe early Austin-Mankind partnership is a nice flashback to their tag title run two years prior.

The story begins…HHH whacks Austin in the knee with a chair.

Mick Foley, nutcase that he is, decides to bust out his somersault crack smash off the apron…and he misses. Jeez Mick.

Ventura refuses to count for HHH after HHH uses a chair. Ventura’s a great ref here. As a bonus, Ventura tosses a middling Shane McMahon, and adds the quote “that was for your old man you bastard!”

Mankind wins the title when he pinned Austin in 16:24. HHH gets the Pedigree, but Mankind knocks him away and hits a Double Arm DDT on Austin for the shocking win! HHH proceeds to destroy Austin’s leg with a steel chair. For all intents and purposes, the HHH Era began right here…and the Stone Cold Era as we knew it was over.

Match was really fun all in all. Mankind’s title win is the result of either one or both of these scenarios: Austin didn’t want to job to HHH and/or Ventura wanted to raise the hand of a face at the end. I believe it’s the latter, especially since Austin goes down to HHH at No Mercy ’99 (and No Way Out 2001). HHH would beat Mankind for the title the very next night.

A really up and down PPV, but I definitely enjoyed the ups. I liked the opener. I liked most of the tag turmoil. Jericho was fun. The Hardcore Title match was fun. Test vs. Shane was very good as was the main event. I didn’t care for Shamrock-Blackman or Rock-Gunn though.

Historically, somehow this PPV is forgotten. It’s crazy because again, this is basically where the HHH Era begins and the Austin Era ends. Sure, Austin would still be in the main event until Survivor Series, and his 2000 comeback was entertaining, but Summerslam 1999 was the end of Stone Cold as THE MAN. From each point forward you could either argue The Rock (who’s late surge stole him many Most Popular Wrestler of the Year Awards) or HHH as the man.

Overall, this was still enjoyable.

Final Grade: B

Basketball

Taking Both Sides of the Coin

Let’s face it, 99% of fans have irrational thoughts in regards to sports. If we didn’t we’d have nothing to really root for. Why should I watch the NFL this season if I don’t think the Jets will be any good as a Jets fan? Why go to Madison Square Garden to watch my Knicks if I think they’ll be terrible? Why would I ever root for a team that I don’t think is going anywhere? Maybe the Jets will make a run at the Superbowl (like they did in 2009). Perhaps the Knicks will score the eighth seed and make the Finals (like they did in 1999). We have Carmelo Anthony, a top five player in the league and unstoppable offensive threat with Phil Jackson behind the scenes. So why not us?

Those last few lines, those are the irrational thoughts. If someone’s telling you Carmelo is a top five player in the NBA right now, there’s something that goes beyond logic in those thoughts (since he’s clearly not). But at least those thoughts are consistent. You might be wrong in making those assumptions, but it’s what you believe as a sports fan, so there’s nothing really wrong with that. You would be hard pressed not to find a sports fan that didn’t have some bias somewhere. The most recent example I’ve seen was on an internet forum. A Minneosta Timberwolves fan had talked up the greatness of Ricky Rubio and thought that when Kevin Garnett returned Minnesota was suddenly going to turn around and win a lot of games. The first part can be debated. The second part was laughable.

The key word is consistent. That Minnesota Timberwolves fan was obviously wrong about Garnett even before Garnett suited up for his first game back, but at least it’s something he believed to be true and wouldn’t go against it unless visual evidence reared its head. The point of this article is to point out those who take both sides of the coin. The one example I saw today involved Geno Smith and his season crippling fight with a Jets teammate. Articles are using titles such as “Jets Season Doomed”. The premise isn’t wrong. The Jets season can be doomed for sure.

The issue is that these same articles and blogs shit on Geno Smith for pretty much every minute of his two season career. So which is it? Does Geno Smith suck (and thus the Jets season was doomed anyway) or was he good enough that his injury doomed the Jets? Despite arguments being made for both, it can’t be both. It’s logically impossible. You can make arguments for one, but when you argue both you’re not making any sense as a sports fan. Let’s call this the “Taking Both Sides of the Coin” Theory.

The greatest example of this (that I can think of in the moment) involves the Miami Heat from “The Decision” to LeBron’s return to Cleveland. The player specifically in question was Chris Bosh. Here were the two sides of the argument.

Side 1: LeBron is a coward in joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh for the Big Three. The Heat are a superteam. It’s not fair. Etc.

Side 2: Chris Bosh sucks. Chris Bosh is overrated.

It is fine to take one of those sides…but so many took both and thus were examples of the “Taking Both Sides of the Coin Theory”. The Heat were a superteam but Chris Bosh sucked? Well which was it?

And yes, I had this same issue come up in the 2015 Finals. In the same breath, I was told how LeBron joined another superteam but Kevin Love sucked. Well…

Which one is it?

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Mortal Kombat (1995)

Pretty big spoilers here…the film’s been out for 20 years now.

On the surface, Mortal Kombat is not a good film. If you weren’t a fan of the series, you found this to be junk with cool music. But if you were a fan…well…wow. The value of Mortal Kombat lies in what the film is trying to be. It’s not trying to win an Oscar Award. It’s trying to be a film adaptation of the Mortal Kombat video game series. And it’s not a bad one either.

Mortal Kombat has to get some extra credit because of where video game film adaptations were. The Super Mario Bros. Movie  was a disaster. Street Fighter came out a year before Mortal Kombat and was just as bad as Mario Bros. Fans needed something that resembled the games they played on their TVs…or more specifically in this case…the arcade.

More or less, Mortal Kombat gives it to them. The film mostly takes the story of the Mortal Kombat I game with some references to MKII. The fate of the world is decided in Mortal Kombat, a fighting tournament where two people fight until one is dead. Earth’s best warriors (Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and Johnny Cage) must defend Earth against the warriors of Outworld (led by Shang Tsung). Outworld must win ten Mortal Kombats in a row to overtake Earthrealm. They have won nine. Along the way, Earth’s heroes meet supernatural beings, both friend and foe, as they learn about themselves and find the strength to win Mortal Kombat and save the Earth. Yeah, the story is pretty bare bones, but that’s the point. The story of Mortal Kombat isn’t supposed to be complicated.

We do get all of the iconic Mortal Kombat characters in the film. While some are done justice for sure (say what you want about Christopher Lambert’s Raiden and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa’s Shang Tsung being overplayed, they both worked brilliantly, especially Tsung. Tagawa was so good he was asked to reprise Tsung in the series Mortal Kombat Legacy in 2013), others aren’t fleshed out at all (Sub-Zero, at one time perhaps the iconic character of Mortal Kombat, has one pretty cool moment and then gets beat down by Raiden and Liu Kang everywhere else). Our heroes range from okay (Robin Shou’s Liu Kang) to insufferable (Johnny Cage), although Bridgette Wilson as Sonya works out well (her character takes a lame turn as a damsel in distress though). I will give a bonus to a small twist in Liu Kang’s character. Kang is pretty much the boring primary protagonist in the games (so much that the game series eventually switched focus to Scorpion as it’s featured fighter, with good results), but here he’s sarcastic and is even skeptical of the Mortal Kombat tournament overall. There’s a scene when he just dumps Cage’s luggage in the river which got a good laugh from me.  Our villains are pretty good overall, especially Tsung and Scorpion (who puts up a much better and cooler fight against Cage than Sub-Zero does against Kang). Goro’s defeat is pretty embarrassing for the character though, but with special effects at the time I’m not sure what else could be done. Bonus points for Reptile’s fight against Liu Kang, which was an iconic moment for my 8 year old self and works really well now. Kano is a bit wasted but serves his purpose, and his Australian accent was used for future games. Princess Kitana is utterly forgettable, and Art Flores just serves as an example to get beat by Goro.

The effects are surprisingly not awful, and even some are pretty cool (Cage’s Shadow Kick and even Goro himself). There’s a few times where it doesn’t work (Tsung’s castle looked terrible) but all in all they didn’t try anything crazy and as a result didn’t do anything terrible and did a few things good.

It’s worth pointing out that this may be the greatest soundtrack for any film ever. No, that’s not an exaggeration at all.

Mortal Kombat gets one big minus though, which is that it was rated PG-13. I get why it was, but considering that the game series was not only the most violent video game series of all time at that point but also led the video games being rated, the film loses some luster for a lack of a R rating. There’s not even one drop of blood! It’s Mortal freakin’ Kombat!

Nonetheless, if you told my older self that this was the film adaptation of Mortal Kombat considering all factors (other video game films, no blood, PG-13) and this was the result, I would have called it a damn miracle.

Pros:

+Most of your favorite Mortal Kombat characters are there.

+Incredible soundtrack.

+Follows the story of the games well.

+Some iconic fights (Cags vs. Scorpion, Reptile vs. Liu Kang)

+Some iconic performances

Cons:

-For non-MK fans, this film had nothing going for it.

-Johnny Cage is insufferable.

-Some iconic characters were wasted.

Grade: B

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Big spoilers here…are you even reading this if you haven’t seen the film. Also, all Star Wars films have to invite comparison to the prequels…because inevitably any discussion of the Star Wars films invites such comparisons.

Considering the fact that the original Star Wars was just about the most successful film ever, there was never any doubt that we would get a sequel. Three years after the original, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back came to the big screen…to surprisingly mixed reviews.

I’m going to get the negative out of the way first. Episode V doesn’t resolve anything. It’s a middle of the plot film and you could basically call Episode V and Episode VI a Part 1 and Part 2 film series. There’s no real beginning and there’s no conclusion at all. You KNOW there’s going to be a sequel just how it plays out. Otherwise you’d have an incomplete story.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, Empire Strikes Back is awesome. Let’s revisit some of our characters from A New Hope. Luke Skywalker is better this time around. While I still have issues with his character in regards to maturity, he finally shows that emotion that I felt was missing in A New Hope, especially in the latter half of the film. Yes, our hero has to be saved not once but twice this time around, but he does enough to make me think that he at least has the potential to be the one to take down the Empire.

Han Solo and Princess Leia’s romance really comes together here, and Solo and Leia’s journey throughout the film may be some of the best sequences in the series. Han Solo’s “I know” to Leia when she declares her love for him is iconic (and improvised by Harrison Ford!). I might have thought their dialog missed in a New Hope, but it’s on the mark here.

And oh man, while I don’t quite see it for Episode IV (and Episode VI) I understand why Darth Vader is an iconic villain here. With Tarkin gone, Vader is in command and it’s absolutely awesome. Vader shows no mercy (with one exception that’s totally fine) for anyone that fails him. He kill his admirals who make mistakes, leading to a great moment when a newly appointed Admiral gulps in fear when called upon. Just incredible all around. When Vader is the top bad guy to deal with, you feel scared for the Rebels.

The supporting characters are all great this time around. You really believe in the loyalty Chewie has toward Solo. This time around I actually find C-3PO funny (the ridiculous odds he gives out in life or death situations is pretty great, it’s a lot better than saying “we’re doomed” all movie) and R2D2 still has incredible charisma for a robot on wheels that doesn’t even say words. One of the best scenes in the film (and the series) is when R2 opens the blast door for everyone to escape Cloud City. Lando is a new character. He’s the head of Cloud City and like Solo, he’s someone who does what’s best for his interests until eventually realizing he needs to help.

I think what helps Empire is the splitting of Solo, Luke and Leia. In a New Hope Solo at times overshadows Luke. Here, we see Luke’s story and we see Han and Leia’s, and this allows us to really get invested in both sides of the Rebellion (the Rebels themselves, and then the Jedi who need to provide the finishing blow). When both sides come together in the finale, we feel like we have a totally different Luke Skywalker and a totally different Han and Leia. It’s great character development all around. As a bonus, Yoda is pretty awesome as the old Jedi Master who teaches Luke, also giving us another iconic quote (“Do or do not, there is no try”).

There are two big moments at the end of the film, one that I’m all for and one that I don’t like. Obviously Vader being Luke’s father is incredible and a great moment in film overall. No issues there. Leia having a telepathic moment with Luke, foreshadowing their revealed brother-sister relationship I think is one of the weaker parts of the original trilogy. I don’t think it adds anything to the series. Before I believed in Luke and Leia due to their past. Adding a sibling relationship unnecessarily forces them to have a connection with one another despite that they had a strong one already. And it all starts with that telepathic link.

That’s Return of the Jedi’s problem though.

Pros:

+Once again, Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2D2 and Darth Vader are all great characters. This time I also thought Leia and Luke were good to great as well. And let’s not forget Yoda!

+Strongest part of the story for sure. You really understand everyone’s motivations and feelings this time around.

+Can’t stress enough how awesome Darth Vader is here. Just considering Empire Vader you’re looking at one of the greatest film villains of all time.

+The huge reveal regarding Vader and Luke at the end is nothing short of iconic.

Cons:

-Clearly a story with no ending. Basically forced you to see the sequel in three years.

-Just how many times does our hero need to get saved?

I might prefer the prequels, but I have full appreciation for Empire. It’s great.

Grade: A

 

Pro Wrestling

Remembering The Hot Rod and The Dream

In the span of seven weeks, two of the all-time great professional wrestlers had passed away. On June 11th, “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes passed at the age of 69, then on July 31st we lost “Rowdy” Roddy Piper at age 61. Both Rhodes and Piper were uniquely great. Piper would serve as an early prototype for “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, while Dusty’s style hasn’t been duplicated since (because he was that great at it). Both men showed that it wasn’t just what took place in the ring that mattered, but how you sold the story to the audience on the microphone. I remember more segments and interviews than matches for both, and that’s perfectly okay (each had their share of great matches anyway).

We have two legends here who care about the business. Dusty of course, helped write NXT and helped make that brand as great as it is. Piper would show up from time to time to help put over some of the current storylines. My favorite Piper interview in fact took place in 2010, where he put over the WWE World Championship match at Survivor Series 2010 between Randy Orton and Wade Barrett (where John Cena was the referee). Piper made you feel the moment.

I’m just going to post some pics or videos of my favorite Dusty and Piper moments. Two legends gone way too soon. But right now I imagine Dusty’s still doing the booking, perhaps putting together a triple threat with Warrior, Savage and Piper up in heaven. Maybe he’s putting himself in the ring as well. Just be sure that Dusty and Piper will sell the match up there on the mic like they always did, and always will.

These are in no particular order.

Dusty beats Flair in their famous 1986 Cage Match for the NWA World Title.

Every great good guy needs a great bad guy: Piper enters MSG at the first Wrestlemania.

An iconic quote from Piper in They Live…

“Hard Times”

Piper subs in for Bret Hart…and wins the IC Title.

Piper makes Bret Hart into a superstar.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2gs2s7

Polka dots might have been to embarrass him…but of course, Dusty got over anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_d0bYWK5SA

My first taste of Piper as a kid, and he sure looked bad ass.

Dusty has the hardcore ECW crowd eating from the palm of his hand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI7pBvA8g7Q

Piper faces off with Stone Cold.

The Dream has one more fight in him.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2wum6l_great-american-bash-2007-randy-orton-vs-dusty-rhodes_sport

My favorite Piper promo…”don’t spit in my face”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yiNtjBQFSE

Dusty helps his sons become two of the biggest faces in the company.

Defiant to the end, Piper stands up to Brock Lesnar.

https://youtu.be/1Bm9gayoLvk?t=93

Thank you Roddy Piper. Thank you Dusty Rhodes.

 

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Pixels (2015)

Probably big spoilers here…although I will try not to make it too bad

The lead up to Pixels was a roller coaster. When Patrick Jean made the short film Pixels in 2010, it was downright awesome. Old school video games attacking the world? That’s money waiting to be printed. As a result we have a feature film in 2015 of the same name. When I first saw the trailer for Pixels I was agog. The potential was limitless. If this movie succeeded, and really, the idea sells itself, this could open doors to perhaps distributers looking monetize video game franchises into film. What video game fan doesn’t want to see a Nintendo Cinematic Universe? The trailer even looked awesome. We just needed Pixels to succeed. It just had one obstacle: Adam Sandler.

Now I haven’t completely followed Sandler’s career and the last thing I remember seeing him in was 2006’s Click, which I recall enjoying at the time. But critics and movie goers have had enough of Sandler. More recently, Jack and Jill, starring Sandler, was regarded as one of the worst films of all time (I haven’t seen it). So everyone was over Sandler at this point. As the reviews for Pixels came in (the drop of the roller coaster) I feared the worst. 18% on Rotten Tomatoes.  Critically panned everywhere. Calls for Adam Sandler to retire. Nintendo tweeted that fans should go see Pixels and got tons of negative responses. I felt like I needed to see Pixels, mainly because I’m a video gamer.

Truth be told…Pixels gets a bad rap. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some bad (even awful) stuff here…but there was definitely some good as well.

Let’s talk about Sandler’s Sam Brenner. First question: if you were told an actor had to play an underachieving middle aged electronics installer in a film that doesn’t take itself remotely seriously who would you pick? Sandler right? So at least he fits the part. His shtick is tired for sure. Some of his jokes downright missed. But he does occasionally get a good line in and I don’t think he’s terrible at all. He’s just there. If you’re sick of Sandler at this point you probably hate him here. That’s fine.

Kevin James’ President Will Cooper also isn’t great, pretty much because they went with the stupid president path which just dates the film since George W. Bush hasn’t been in office for seven years. But…I will say that I think they also were making fun of potential Presidential candidate Chris Christie here, which again, is merely okay.

For the most part, Peter Dinklage’s Eddie Plant is played so over the top it’s great. Definitely the best character in the film.

Josh Gad’s Ludlow is very hit or miss. It’s more miss, but he does have his moments.

Michelle Monaghan in reviews was referred as one of the bright spots of the film, but her Violet Van Patten wasn’t anything special.

So let’s get to the plot. Back in 1982 there was an Arcade Game contest to which Plant defeated Brenner in the finals where Donkey Kong was played. It was said that the footage from the tournament would be sent to outer space so that life forms perhaps could see intelligence from Earth. Before you claim how ridiculous that idea is, you find a way for aliens to send video games to attack Earth and let me know how much sense it makes. It should be noted that this entire opening sequence is pretty awesome and captures what playing games in arcades was like. We get to the present time where Brenner is hired to install a TV and PS4 for a kid, and they get into a discussion about games and patterns. For some reason the kid goes into his mother’s personal life, and in one of the weaker moments of the film Sandler and the mother, Van Patten, share a moment drinking in a closet. It doesn’t work at all.

We see the first attack on the Island of Guam…by Galaga. It’s a bit of a shame that Galaga isn’t part of the climax later (I think Galaga and Centipede should have been switched) but it’s still pretty cool. The President makes a call to his Colonel, who we find out is Van Patten, and his best friend who happens to be great at video games, Brenner. While there’s another really weak joke attempt during this sequence, Cooper confirms what he thought…that Galaga attacked Guam. Brenner happens to find Ludlow, who’s a conspiracy nut, and Ludlow shows Brenner old 80s footage that’s doctored with alien voices that warns of the next attack. Cooper ignores this, as he believes the press would further laugh at him. Arkanoid attacks India (there’s a scene during this that I thought was at first stupid…but then I laughed realizing if this actually were to happen someone would probably do this…you’ll have to see for yourself), which is another cool sequence. The video games warn the U.S.: they are down 2-0 and if the Video Games get up 3-0, Earth will be destroyed.

From that point it’s up to Brenner and Ludlow to train the military to learn how to fight any classic arcade game…monster (?). But when the time comes, the military is overwhelmed by Centipede before Brenner and Ludlow take over and win. I was surprised at this, as reviews stated that it made no sense that the characters good at the games would actually do the fighting. But, here, the military tried and couldn’t keep up with the patterns…so I can actually by the idea of the gamers coming in and taking over.

We find out what happened to Eddie Plant and he has some funny and not so funny demands in exchange for his help (funny one: no more taxes). His character would provide an interesting twist later in the film that I won’t spoil here. We move onto the Pac-Man battle, which is a pretty awesome sequence and definitely the high point of the film. It logically doesn’t make sense (because Brenner is good at patterns…but he’s the ghost and Pac-Man has no pattern). Of course eventually we get to the finale, which the trailer pretty much gave away. The Donkey Kong sequence is pretty great too though.

Pixels tells a pretty solid story considering the premise, and all of the video games look absolutely great. Some of the running gags do have a pretty good payoff (Ludlow’s dream love, for example), but some aren’t just bad, they’re terrible. I’ll give this one away but for some reason we have Q*Bert peeing himself after being afraid, which was just unnecessary and not funny at all. Most of the comedy misses, and like in this case, misses badly.

But it’s not an 18% film. Definitely better than that. Maybe it’s a straight nostalgia money grab. But at least it pays respect to the great games involved.

 

Pros:

+The video game attackers look incredible, and each scene is awesome.

+Peter Dinklage is the only character that’s funny more often than not.

+Some funny gags.

+Story is better than it has any right to be.

+Opening sequence of the film is well done.

Cons:

-Some really unfunny gags.

-Sandler and James’s time has past.

-Love story is uninspiring and clichéd.

-Can’t stress enough about the unfunny stuff.

-An unfortunate waste of a great idea.

We probably aren’t getting the Nintendo Cinematic Universe out of this unfortunately. But I did have a good time watching, and I guess that’s what counts.

Grade: C+

 

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Summerslam 2008

WWE Summerslam 2008
August 17, 2008
Indianapolis, IN

2008 was shaping up to be a very good year.

Everyone just seemed to be hitting their stride. Triple H had been a solid top face. Edge an amazing heel. Everything didn’t feel booked around John Cena for the first time in years…which also worked wonders for Cena. Chris Jericho and JBL, both coming off huge layoffs and rough comebacks, had gotten back into stride and were entertaining top guys again. Undertaker somehow became one of the best, if not the best worker in the whole promotion. Jeff Hardy was being groomed for the top, although he made some mistakes along the way. CM Punk surprisingly was at the top, at least kind of as he was the World Champion although in the middle of the pack still. Even someone like Mark Henry was suddenly realizing his potential with his strong run as ECW World Champ.

A lot of awesome stuff was happening…and it built up to a pretty good looking Summerslam.

Could WWE keep a good year going?

The Card

We get a promo of the big main event, which is the presumed blow off of the pretty awesome Edge vs. Undertaker feud.

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

This was still part of Hardy’s “punishment” after getting a wellness strike before Wrestlemania 24 and losing out on his shot at winning MITB. He would get past this and be on top soon enough though.

It’s astonishing to me that MVP didn’t work out in WWE. He was one of the most entertaining heels in the whole promotion at this point.

There are huge “MVP” chants, which is surprising as Hardy was one of the most popular stars in WWE at the time.

MVP pins Jeff Hardy in 10:21. Shelton Benjamin appears at ringside and Hardy takes him out, but that distraction leads to Hardy missing a Swanton and MVP hitting the Drive-By for the win. I pretty surprising result, as Hardy would be on the fast track to the World Title shortly after this. Really good match.

Santino and Beth Phoenix interview by Maria. Santino just recently dumped Maria for Beth. Santino really found his way as a comedy heel here.

WWE Intercontinental and Women’s Championship Match
Kofi Kingston (IC Champ) and Mickie James (Women’s Champ) vs. Santino and Beth Phoenix

Until the New Day run, I swear Kofi was the same exact character for six years.

Michael Cole says that RAW GM Mike Adamle made this “Adamle Original” match. That was one awful part of 2008, GM Mike Adamle.

Santino takes a monkey flip from Mickie, and even that’s hilarious.

Santino jumps in Beth’s arms to avoid a Kofi dive. Just great stuff.

The Mickie vs. Beth stuff is awesome. Beautiful hurricanrana.

Tornado DDT from Mickie to Santino!

Beth Phoenix and Santino win the titles when Beth pinned Mickie in 5:45. Glam Slam wins it. Great for what it was. Depending on how you felt about the IC Title this was either a travesty or awesome. Since the US Title seemed to be the serious title (Benjamin was the Champ at this point I believe) this was more than fine.

Shawn Michaels makes his way out the ring to announce his retirement with his wife Rebecca. HBK was slammed into the Jeri-Tron 5000 by Chris Jericho, which is one of the best heel turns ever done in my opinion. This led to an eye injury that led to HBK’s retirement here.

At least until Chris Jericho shows up. Jericho, who had begun doing the whole suit and tie thing and, as amazing as Edge was at this point, was the best heel in the business. Jericho demands that HBK admit that Jericho is the reason he is retiring. HBK fires back that Jericho needs to live with the fact that he’s not Shawn Michaels.

Jericho goes for a punch…and decks Rebecca. Jericho is in shock, as is HBK. After reading Jericho’s 3rd book, it turns out Jericho accidentally decked her for real. While horrifying, it added so much to this segment and the entire segment is pretty incredible. While I don’t like how he won it, there is no surprise in the fact that Jericho was given the World Title shortly after this. This continued a pretty amazing feud (although I actually don’t like their Unforigiven match) which led to a fantastic ladder match at No Mercy ’08.

ECW World Championship
Mark Henry© vs. Matt Hardy

Mark Henry owned here at this was the peak of Matt Hardy’s popularity. Neither would actually maintain it, although Henry would return to form in 2011.

Matt Hardy wins by DQ in 0:31. Must have been short on time. Tony Atlas pulling out Matt to cause a DQ though just further shit on what the ECW Brand was though. Sadly, something similar would happen with the ECW World Title next year too.

World Heavyweight Championship
CM Punk© vs. JBL

Punk had won the title from Edge using MITB, and JBL felt he was an undeserving champ. Punk probably wasn’t ready for the World Title yet, and as described on his documentary, this was a really a midcard feud with the World Title involved, although JBL and Punk were both pretty good at this point.

Just a fun big man vs. little man match here. Feels like an IC Title Match though.

CM Punk retains by pin in 11:09. GTS gets the win. A little short, but very good. It was a solid, clean victory for Champ Punk and one of the better JBL matches. Just a shame it was stuck in the midcard.

WWE Championship
Triple H© vs. The Great Khali

I thought it was pretty weird for Khali to get one more shot at the top here. This would be the last time though, as Khali became the comedic “Punjanbi Playboy” in October and never gave up that role.

HHH does his best here. Khali dominates with nerve holds and his chops and such, and HHH makes the most out of it, selling for Khali, making him look like a million bucks.

HHH retains the title in 9:18 by pin. Probably Khali’s 2nd best match. Give HHH tons of credit, it’s good considering who his opponent is. This was the end of any main event run for Khali, who soon became a comical babyface.

John Cena vs. Batista

The story is that this came from a miscommunication from a Tag Match, but that was a set-up for the obvious “dream match” scenario.

The promo video really pushes the whole idea of Batista and Cena being the top guys in the company and finally colliding. Interestingly though, this isn’t the main event. I think this was because Batista wasn’t really at his peak here and had been cast aside on Smackdown. Peak Batista is from 2005 through mid 2007, then again in early 2010.

Batista using the Figure Four is a nice touch with Flair’s retirement back at Mania.

I like that Batista is busting out moves we don’t normally see from him. A Figure Four before, and now a variation of a rear naked choke.

Awesome counter: Cena goes for his top rope legdrop on a bent over opponent, only Batista turns it into a Batista Bomb. And it’s not even the finish!

Batista pinned John Cena in 13:44. The 2nd Batista Bomb wins it cleanly. Not a surprising finish as Batista was the one that needed a little re-establishing, and a clean win over Cena was the perfect solution. Both of these guys also showed great chemistry that would be seen again a couple years later. I don’t think anyone was expecting a great match here, but that’s what they got.

Hell in a Cell
The Undertaker vs. Edge

If Jericho vs. HBK wasn’t your 2008 Feud of the Year, then this was. Taker and Edge had brilliant matches at Wrestlemania, Backlash and a classic at One Night Stand. Edge won that last won for the title that “retired” the Undertaker…but a vengeful Vickie Guerrerobrought The Undertaker back.

I will say the Edge-Vickie marriage was just something that didn’t really work, but Edge was so good it pretty much didn’t matter. There was also a brilliant segment in the lead-up where Edge beat up Mick Foley in Foley’s last great WWE segment.

Some real creative stuff early on using the ring steps. Snake eyes from Taker, then an Edge dropkick and spear with Taker sitting next to the steps.

This is a flat out a great brawl. Bonus points for Edge invoking what he did to Mick Foley before dropping an elbow with a chair off a ladder onto Taker.

A big surprise…Edge spears Taker through the Cell! I believe this was the first time in six years that the Hell in a Cell participants went outside the Cell.

In a ridiculously dangerous spot, Edge jumps off one table and spears Taker through the other one. Just sick.

In a brilliant callback, Edge whacks Taker with a TV camera. He did the same at Survivor Series ’07.

The brawl keeps on and eventually Taker gets the upperhand and puts an epic beatdown on Edge. Poor Edge gets whacked with the camera, goes flying through the tables and Is the recipient of a vicious con-chair-to. Talk about a feud ender.

The Undertaker pinned Edge in 26:40. Tombstone finished it off. Really a TLC match in a Hell in a Cell match…but it was a great match nonetheless and the last great Cell match until Wrestlemania XXVIII. It was weird at the time that there was no blood or anything…but really it was just a sign of the times as blood would become a thing of the past. A great ending to a great feud. As long as we ignore the hokey post-match beat down where Taker chokeslams Edge through the ring and then lights the hole on fire. We can just ignore that if that’s okay (don’t worry, Edge would show up three months later at Survivor Series and win the World Title).

This is a pretty awesome show all around. Everything except the short ECW World Title match basically hit. CM Punk showed he can be a great World Champion (not that WWE let him run with it or anything…we’d have to wait a year for that), HHH showed he can actually get a good match out of the Great Khali, the two main events were great AND we got that whole HBK-Jericho segment. This is as close to an A+ as you can get without getting one…but it feels like it just comes short. This might have not been the best Taker-Edge match or even Cena-Batista match…and historically, Punk got nowhere.

Still a great show though.

Final Grade: A

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Big spoilers here…are you even reading this if you haven’t seen the film. Also, all Star Wars films have to invite comparison to the prequels…because inevitably any discussion of the Star Wars films invites such comparisons.

Without a doubt, Star Wars changed the way we look at big blockbuster films. It’s crazy looking back that George Lucas didn’t have a ton of confidence in his film and thought he was going to get killed by Steven Spielberg’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind. While perhaps it hasn’t aged beautifully, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope was a special effects masterpiece that launched the careers of several stars (Harrison Ford, for example) and made more money than any other movie at that point.

But let’s be honest, that doesn’t mean it’s the greatest film of all time or anything. In fact, it may be the most overrated. Looking at the critical acclaim the film has received in every way, as well as it’s revered state among most Star Wars fans only shows just how overrated the film is.

I had some pre-conceived notions about A New Hope before watching it again for this review, since truthfully I didn’t entirely enjoy it when I was younger. I found it rather boring and I didn’t see much in Luke Skywalker, our main protagonist, to get invested in. I felt the same way on both accounts watching the film again.

The film begins with the evil Empire, led by Darth Vader, hunting down several members of the Rebellion who have stolen integral plans of the Empire’s moon-sized weapon, the Death Star. The best that Princess Leia can do is send the plans and a message with a droid named R2D2 to another planet where Obi-Wan Kenobi resides. After that we get an unnecessary argument between R2 and fellow droid C3PO, splitting the two. They end up captured and reunited, and it’s really one of the more pointless and slower starts to a film I’ve ever seen.

They eventually get bought by Luke Skywalker and his aunt and uncle. Luke stumbles upon the message for Kenobi, and knows a Ben Kenobi himself. We learn a little bit about Luke’s dream of one day being a Jedi like his father and Kenobi’s past as a Jedi Knight himself. Kenobi tries to convince Luke to come with him to follow him and follow his dream, although Luke declines as he feels tied at home. Luke’s aunt and uncle are killed though, and we come upon one of the first problems with Luke Skywalker. Other than a two second bowing of his head, he seems to not be all that concerned that his family as just brutally murdered and joins Kenobi on his quest.

On the Empire side of things, I think it’s well known that Darth Vader is one of the best film characters in cinema history. I don’t buy him as particularly a great villain though, and some of the interactions here with Grand Moff Tarkin, the commander of the Death Star show why.  While Vader definitely shows his dominance at times, there are other moments where it seems like Tarkin is running the show on the Death Star. Luckily, that’s rectified near the end.

The film picks up when we’re introduced to Han Solo, a smuggler/pilot looking to make money however he can in order to pay back from debts. Ford’s Solo outshines Mark Hamill’s Skywalker on pretty much every level. Eventually, they are picked up by Death Star and Solo and Skywalker look to rescue Princess Leia while Obi-Wan looks to help anyway he can…and confront Vader. Our heroes end up in a pretty ridiculous situation…without the droids our New Hope would have been crushed in a garbage disposal…while Kenobi faces off with Vader. Vader kills Kenobi in front of Luke’s eyes…and we finally get some emotion out of Luke that isn’t whining or complaining.

Getting to that point, Luke Skywalker complains about everything. Watching them film he actually reminded me of Robin in Batman and Robin. So I don’t continue to harp on the weakness of Skywalker, it’s also worth noting that his fascination with Leia is pretty creepy considering what would happen with the rest of the series.

Anyway, the film does end on a strong note, although the pacing is messy. The Empire tracks Skywalker, Solo and Leia to the Rebel base, and the race is on. The Rebels send attack fighters to exploit a weakness in the Death Star while the Empire look to destroy the planet the Rebels are on. With some “help” from Kenobi, Luke gets in the final blow at the last minute with a Han Solo assist…and the Rebels win for now. The Death Star blows up (Vader wasn’t inside) and the Luke and Han are given medals at the end. The entire ending sequence is the first time we can believe in Skywalker as a top hero…although I’m unsure how we got that to that point.

There’s a lot to analyze with Star Wars and there is more good than bad for sure. But the bad is often ignored for whatever reason. I often laugh at some of the comments about the prequels in regards to the terrible dialog in those three films (a fair criticism) while wondering where those comments are when it comes to a New Hope. There’s an especially cringe worthy statement from Leia to Tarkin that made me wonder if Lucas wanted to base Leia off of spoiled English royalty. C3PO is also quite annoying here, which surprised me because I remember at one time thinking C3PO was funny.

Pros:

+Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Chewbacca, R2D2 and Darth Vader are all great characters.

+For 1977, this was a technical masterpiece.

+Great third act.

Cons:

-There’s nothing inspiring about Luke Skywalker at all.

-Tarkin is a good character, but unfortunately his presence holds Vader back.

-Downright boring opening.

-Dialog misses at some parts

For its historical significance and the pros listed I can’t put the film too low, but’s worth repeating that this is one of the most overrated films in cinema history.

Grade: B-

 

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Iron Man (2008)

Big spoilers here…I mean the film has been out for seven years now…

I’m sure Marvel looked at Batman Begins and wondered “how can we do that?” While Marvel has had a part in many of the films involving their characters (obviously), this was the first full production from Marvel Studios and only Marvel Studios. And they would one-up the DC Comics Dark Knight Trilogy with the idea to connect all of their main characters and weave them into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

While Iron Man technically isn’t the Marvel Comics counterpart to DC’s Batman (you can argue that would be Steel), the message was there…that Marvel is on the big screen now in direct competition to DC and Batman (and Christopher Nolan’s trilogy). Iron Man has to be a hit for this to really work and Marvel delivered for sure.

The first twenty minutes of the film is fantastic. We quickly get an idea of who Tony Stark is and why he in fact becomes Iron Man. It’s done so well that we don’t really need a long backstory. The message is clear: Tony Stark realizes the weapons he’s created are doing more harm than good, and after a traumatic experience of being captured and made to create more of these weapons, he realizes he should use his resources to defend the world. Considering the direction the Marvel Cinematic Universe has went, this is an impressive start considering Tony’s still trying to do everything he can to defend the world. Stark’s partner, Obadiah Stane, of course isn’t exactly about to just let Tony Stark change the entire direction of the company at a moment’s notice. Also brilliantly done in the film is show Stane’s power. When it’s revealed he tried to overtake Stark Industries by having Stark captured and killed, Stane kills many of the Ten Rings (the group that captured Tony) members when they make demands. For most of the film Stane is a great villain.

Even the smaller storylines are done well. We get a lot of plot development from Pepper Potts and her relationship with Tony without taking up tons of screen time and narration to explain it. S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Phil Coulson even makes an appearance, looking to gain info about Stark and Iron Man for the Avengers Initiative. Stark’s best friend Colonel James Rhodes is also established as someone who looks to keep Stark in check when he can.

If there’s one part of the film I don’t like, it’s what Stane does toward the end. He quickly goes from someone just looking to overtake the company to someone who becomes mad with power. Once he gets control of his own suit, the Iron Monger, it makes you wonder just what Stane’s motivation suddenly is. It’s disappointing to see a cunning business man go crazy just like that.

It’s worth noting that Iron Man feels a lot darker than later MCU films would be. There’s not a whole lot of comedy, although the bits that are intended for that work too (although, I’m pretty sure Stark would have died when one of his tests go wrong and he crashes into a wall). I find this to be quite refreshing as it helps us feel the dilemma and pain Tony Stark goes through as he realizes what his weapons have done to people all over the world.

The cast hits everywhere. Robert Downey Jr. is so good that it can be debated he’s as much Tony Stark as Hugh Jackman is Wolverine. Gwyneth Paltrow works as Pepper. Terrence Howard, although not long for the role, is good as Rhodey. I also bought into Jeff Bridges’ Obadiah Stane.

It should also be pointed out that the end credits sequence was a huge deal at the time and left no questions about where Marvel was headed.

Pros:

+Cast hits their marks, especially Downey as Iron Man.

+Efficient and great character development.

+Great story…you really believe in Tony Stark.

+Obadiah Stane is a good villain…for most of the film.

+Subtle moments that looking back made you realize the MCU was going to be a huge deal.

Cons:

-Stane’s motivations don’t really jive with the rest of the film.

A pretty great start to the Marvel Cinematic Universe for sure.

Grade: A

 

Basketball

Top 100 Basketball Players Ever: #80-#71

#80: Lenny Wilkens

top100wilkens

NBA All-Star Game MVP: 1x (’71)

MVP Runner-Up: 1x (’68)

NBA All-Star: 9x (’63, ’64, ’65, ’67, ’68, ’69, ’70, ’71, ‘73)

NBA Top 10 Points: 1x (’69)

NBA Assists Leader: 2x (’70, ’72)

NBA Top 10 Assists: 12x (’63, ’64, ’65, ’66, ’67, ’68, ’69, ’70, ’71, ’72, ’73, ’74)

NBA Top 10 Win Shares: 1x (’68)

NBA Top 10 Offensive Win Shares: 2x (’67, ’68)

NBA All-Time Assists: 12th

2nd Best Player on two Runner-Ups: (’61 Hawks, ’64 Hawks)

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 71st

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 72nd

A strange resume for sure. Wilkens was once runner-up for MVP…but also never made an All-NBA Team. His advanced stats (dubious for the 60s admittedly) don’t blow anyone away. What stands out is that random runner-up for MVP and his assists totals.

You know who he reminds me of? Jason Kidd. Now Kidd is obviously a lot more revered than Wilkens considering Kidd’s been All-NBA Team many times. But that’s the reason Kidd is about 40 spots higher. Lenny Wilkens seemed like another very good player stuck in the Russell Celtics era. He had two early cracks at the title but the Hawks couldn’t get it done. Nothing wrong with that. Lenny would eventually win a title with the ’79 Sonics as a coach and has won like a billion games. Not bad.

#79: Earl Monroe

New York Knicks vs. Milwaukee Bucks

NBA Rookie of the Year: (‘68)

All-NBA 1st Team: 1x (‘69)

All-NBA Rookie 1st Team: (’68)

NBA All-Star: 4x (’69, ’71, ’75, ‘77)

NBA Points Runner-Up: 1x (‘69)

NBA Top 10 Points: 3x (’68, ’69, ‘70)

Starter on one NBA Championship Team: ’73 Knicks

2nd Best Player on one Runner-Up: ’71 Bullets

Role Player on one Runner-Up: ’72 Knicks

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 67th

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 47th

My first instinct is to go with Earl “The Pearl” being overrated because he had a cool nickname and he played on the famous Knick teams of the early 70s. His resume doesn’t quite stack up with the guys around him on this list at all.

Here’s the thing. When Monroe was great…he was elite. He outright invented a move (spin move) and was unstoppable until knee injuries. He still played a part in three straight NBA Finals…although he didn’t win in ’71 and got outplayed by Gail Goodrich in ’72. He played a role in the ’73 Knicks title, which helps. His career as a productive player wasn’t over yet either, as he made All Star teams in 1975 and 1977, as the league was adding talent post ABA merger.

Maybe he should be lower, but this is one of those where reputation is going to outweight the resume. And no one really has anything bad to say about Earl “The Pearl”.

#78: Tony Parker

top100parker

NBA Finals MVP: 1x (’07)

All-NBA 2nd Team: 3x (’12, ’13, ‘14)

All-NBA 3rd Team: 1x (’09)

All-NBA Rookie 2nd Team: 1x (’02)

NBA All-Star: 6x (’06, ’07, ’09, ’12, ’13, ‘14)

NBA Top 10 Assists: 1x (’12)

NBA Top 10 PER: 2x (’09, ’13)

NBA Top 10 Offensive Win Shares: 1x (‘13)

NBA Top 10 WS/48: 1x (’13)

2nd or 3rd Best Player on three Championships Teams: (’05 Spurs, ’07 Spurs, ’14 Spurs)

Starter on one Championship Team: (’03 Spurs)

2nd Best Player on one Runner-Up: (’13 Spurs)

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): Not Ranked

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 139th

Tony Parker made a great case for himself after 2011, where he suddenly looked like the real best player on the Spurs. This shouldn’t have been such a shock as while the Spurs were starting to look and feel old, Parker had hit his prime. Unfortunately a disappointing 2015 just as suddenly makes Parker look washed up and probably prevents him from moving up to this list.

Truth is, Parker has been a very good player for almost all his career. He definitely lucked out on landing with the Spurs…I don’t think he even has half the career he ended up having without that stroke of luck…but he definitely had talent. As early as 2003 Phil Jackson wrote in his book how Parker would give the Lakers fits on screen rolls. Even early on in his career, Parker was playing at a high level in the playoffs.

The 2003 Finals was a different story, although I believe it’s a story that showed that Tony Parker could be great. The main storyline leading up to the 2003 Finals between the Spurs and the Nets was that Jason Kidd’s contract was expiring…and the Spurs were one of the top teams to land him. There were interviews with Parker asking if he would take a back-up role to Kidd during the finals no less (I remember Parker saying he’d beat him out for the starting job). Anyway, as Parker struggled towards the end of the finals, that controversy only grew stronger and only went away when Kidd re-signed with the Nets. Parker took that slight and turned it into a very good career, and from 2004 on, I’d even argue you might want to have Parker than Kidd.

#77: Chris Webber

top100webber

NBA Rookie of the Year: (’94)

All-NBA 1st Team: 1x (’01)

All-NBA 2nd Team: 3x (’99, ’02, ’03)

All-NBA 3rd Team: 1x (’00)

All-NBA Rookie 1st Team: (’94)

NBA All-Star: 5x (’97, ’00, ’01, ’02, ‘03)

NBA Top 10 Points 2x (’00, ‘01)

NBA Rebounds Per Game Leader: 1x (’99)

NBA Top 10 Rebounds: 2x (’99, ’00)

NBA Top 10 Blocks: 1x (’94)

NBA Top 10 PER: 3x (’00, ’01, ‘02)

NBA Top 10 Win Shares: 1x (‘00)

NBA Top 10 WS/48: 1x (’02)

NBA Top 10 Defensive Rating: 3x (’01, ’02, ’03)

NBA Top 10 Defensive Win Shares: 3x (’00, ’01, ’03)

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 72nd

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 80th

There are similarities to Tracy McGrady in terms of being a once-in-a-lifetime talent who didn’t pan out by not working on his game. Chris Webber was given every single thing a big man could ever want. Explosive power. Great passing. Good size. Good leaping ability. Webber had everything. Yet Webber’s college career might have messed him up mentally to the point where this once-in-a-lifetime talent never reached his sky high potential.

First, let’s look at Webber’s college career. As the centerpiece of the Fab Five, Webber was dominant. While Michigan’s loss to Duke in the 1992 Championship game hurt, it will never be forgotten how Michigan lost the 1993 Championship game on Webber’s infamous timeout. With 19 seconds left and Michigan down by two, Webber grabs a missed free throw. He first gets away with a travel before dribbling straight into a trap. Webber then calls timeout when Michigan has none, leading to a technical and costing Michigan a last chance at the National Championship. One must wonder how much this affected Webber in the NBA, especially in his playoff battles with the Lakers. When it came to the clutch, Webber never wanted to be the man and came up short each time. I think some of that can be traced back to this 1993 NCAA Championship.

The 2nd piece of Webber’s college career is the behind the scenes piece. As ESPN’s 30 for 30 on the Fab Five documented, the Fab Five were not happy about how Michigan made tons of money promoting them, yet as NCAA amateurs they couldn’t receive a penny of it. Thanks in big part to Michael Jordan, future NBA players were now about their brand and getting theirs. As Jack McCallum put it in his Dream Team book, it was the era of “the fully hatched superstar”. After being used by Michigan (a story that gets a lot worse with the Ed Martin scandal) in his mind, Webber went out to the NBA and did what was best for him as a brand.

This meant bad things for Webber early on. While unlucky to be traded from Orlando to Golden State (since he could have played with Shaq), he was still quite lucky to play for coach Don Nelson. Nelson and Webber clashed though, and Webber got out after one year, a shame since Webber was the perfect fit for Nellie-ball.

After toiling away on the Wizards for a few seasons (and getting seriously injured for the first time) Webber was dealt to the Kings and immediately put them on the map. One of Webber’s best accomplishments is being able to be a competitive top power forward in a league with Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett (and later even Dirk Nowitzki). Webber would never reinvent his game though, and when Garnett surpassed him, it was easy to think that Garnett had become what Webber was supposed to be.

The Kings with Webber also have a legitimate gripe as arguably they should have been the 2002 NBA Champions…something that would have altered Webber’s legacy greatly. The Lakers were heavily favored by the referees in both Games 3 and 6 for sure of the NBA Finals and there’s video evidence of it and everything. With that being said the Kings still had home court in Game 7. And they came just short. Officiating and all, one big Webber 40 point explosion and the Kings still pull off the title (yes, they were beating the 2002 Nets).

Injuries continued to sap Webber’s effectiveness to the point where the Kings were arguably better without him (something that proved to ultimately be false in the long run, but in 2004 seemed true as they went 55-27 and Webber only played 23 games). The Kings looked to move to Peja Stojakovic as their top guy. The Kings dealt Webber to the Sixers in the middle of the 2005 season and haven’t won a playoff series since. Webber finally changed his game enough to at least have one 20 PPG season with the Sixers, although his efficiency had gone. He never developed a reliable three point shot or even outside shot. Some forgettable stints followed and that was that.

Sure he was unlucky in some spots. Sure he got screwed in 2002. But he still had the talent to be a top 30 guy and that’s on him.

#76: David Thompson

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ABA Rookie of the Year: (’76)

All-NBA 1st Team: 2x (’77, ’78)

All-ABA 2nd Team: 1x (‘76)

All-ABA Rookie 1st Team: (’76)

NBA All-Star Game MVP: 1x (’79)

ABA All-Star Game MVP: 1x (’76)

NBA All-Star: 4x (’77, ’78, ’79, ‘83)

ABA All-Star: 1x (’76)

ABA Points Runner-Up: 1x (’76)

NBA Top 10 Points: 4x (’77, ’78, ’79, ’81)

ABA Top 10 Steals: 1x (’76)

ABA Top 10 Blocks: 1x (’76)

ABA Top 10 PER: 1x (’76)

NBA Top 10 PER: 1x (’78)

NBA Win Share Leader: 1x (’78)

ABA Top 5 Win Shares: 1x (’76)

NBA Top 10 Win Shares: 2x (’77, ’78)

NBA Top 5 WS/48: 1x (’78)

ABA Top 5 WS/48: 1x (’76)

ABA Top 5 Offensive Rating: 1x (’76)

NBA Offensive Rating Runner-Up: 1x (’78)

Best Player on one ABA Runner-Up: ’76 Nuggets

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 70th

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 63rd

Sadly, David Thompson is one of the poster boys for the cocaine era of the NBA. In Thompson’s case it may be the biggest waste of a career in professional basketball history due to substance abuse. Thompson was arguably the NBA’s best player in the late 70s (depending how you feel about Bill Walton) and had surprisingly taken that title from Julius Erving. Thompson had a great 1978 season where his Nuggets just couldn’t get by the Sonics in the Western Conference Finals.

How great was Thompson in 1978? He scored 73 in the final game of the regular season to try to win the scoring title (similar to David Robinson’s 71 point game 16 years later), only he was so hot early fans thought he was going for 100. Thompson was merely 23 years old at the time. Everything fell apart in 1979 when he injured his knee in Studio 54 in New York City…and the aforementioned cocaine problems.

I might rethink this one in the future as he only played 509 career games and was only elite for four seasons. That’s the thing though, unlike someone like Webber, Thompson was elite at for a portion of his career. You know you’ve done something influential in your career when Michael Jordan selects you to induct him into the Hall of Fame. As Simmons put it, “Skywalker” was the Intellvision to Jordan’s Playstation 2. That’s pretty good for the late 70s.

#75: Jerry Lucas

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NBA Rookie of the Year: (’64)

All-NBA 1st Team: 3x (’65, ’66, ’68)

All-NBA 2nd Team: 2x (’64, ‘68)

All-NBA Rookie 1st Team: (’64)

NBA All-Star Game MVP: 1x (’65)

NBA All-Star: 7x (’64, ’65, ’66, ’67, ’68, ’69, ‘71)

NBA Top 10 Points: 2x (’66, ‘68)

NBA Top 10 Rebounds: 8x (’64, ’65, ’66, ’67, ’68, ’69, ’70, ’71)

NBA Top 10 PER: 6x (’64, ’65, ’66, ’68, ’69, ‘71)

NBA Top 10 Win Shares: 4x (’64, ’65, ’68, ‘72)

NBA Top 5 WS/48: 3x (’64, ’72, ‘73)

Role Player for one Championship Team: ’73 Knicks

Starter on one Runner-Up: ’72 Knicks

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 64th

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 38th

I have to admit I was quite skeptical of SLAM’s ranking. Here’s the deal with Jerry Lucas. He put up big stats in a league with a couple of elite centers and no real bigs other than that (a big reason why Oscar put up his insane stats). He was one of the best two power forwards in the league, but PF was a diluted position. He was Oscar’s 2nd option on a bunch of Royals teams that failed to win anything. He went to the Knicks and started for a Finals team…although he took on less of a role in 1973 and the Knicks promptly won the title. He also wasn’t regarded highly at all, as he was once traded for Jim King and Billy Turner (one all-star total there) and another time for Cazzie Russell (another one time all-star).

Still, it’s hard to look past that resume. For the first six seasons of his career he averaged a 19-19. And he was a part of two Finals teams. His rankings on both Simmons and SLAM’s lists make it hard to really drop him. But reading Simmons, even he seems skeptical. So I don’t know. This feels right.

#74: Pete Maravich

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All-NBA 1st Team: 2x (’76, ‘77)

All-NBA 2nd Team: 2x (’73, ‘78)

All-NBA Rookie 1st Team: (’71)

NBA All-Star: 5x (’73, ’74, ’77, ’78, ‘79)

NBA Points Leader: 1x (’77)

NBA Top 10 Points: 5x (’71, ’73, ’74, ’75, ‘77)

NBA Top 10 Assists: 2x (’73, ’75)

NBA Top 10 PER: 3x (’73, ’74, ‘76)

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 68th

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 60th

One of the most famous basketball players of all time was someone clearly ahead of his time. Maravich was an offensive savant, making crazy passes that one would have never thought possibly and hitting jumpers from all over the floor. He scored 68 with this style of play in 1977 and managed three other 50 point games that season as well.

It should be mentioned that Maravich did all of that in addition to averaging 24 PPG for his career…without a three point line. Can you imagine a jump shooting guard scoring all those points without a three point line? The thing was practically made for him (in his last year when he was beyond washed up, he took 15 three pointers and made 10). He averaged 31.1 PPG in 1977. Compare that statistic with players and take away a point for each three pointer they made a game. I’d guess that Maravich would be someone who hit minimum 3 threes a game. That right there is 34 PPG.

Of course, whether or not a player can actually win as the best player on his team that way is debatable. The Pistol couldn’t win anything. He gets overrated historically for the highlight reel plays for sure but it hasn’t really been until 2015 that outside shooting teams can make all the difference. In the 1970s…with no three point line? No chance. Still, the Pistol was great at one point for sure.

#73: Chris Bosh

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All-NBA 2nd Team: 1x (‘07)

All-NBA Rookie 1st Team: (’04)

NBA All-Star: 10x (’06, ’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ’12, ’13, ’14, ‘15)

NBA Top 10 Points: 2x (’09, ‘10)

NBA Top 10 Rebounds: 1x (‘09)

NBA Top 10 PER: 2x (’08, ‘10)

NBA Top 10 Offensive Rating: 1x (’06)

3rd Best Player on two Championship Teams: ’12 Heat, ’13 Heat

3rd Best Player on two Runner-Ups: ’11 Heat, ’14 Heat

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): Not Ranked

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 171st

Chris Bosh made a choice. Either be a 22-9 guy on .500 Raptors team or be a role player on a title contending team every year. He chose the latter. There was a lot of hate toward Bosh, but there’s no question that he was an integral part of the Heat four year run. Without Bosh the Heat fall to the Pacers in Round 2 of the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals. Many fans who hate LeBron and the Heat would complain that Miami created a super team…but at the same time Chris Bosh sucked. Well which one is it? It can’t be both.

You should sacrifice individual statistics for team glory. That’s why Robert Horry is on this list. And that’s why Bosh is on this list. On any given night that D-Wade was hurt and LeBron needed a second weapon, Bosh was there. It remains to be seen what the post LeBron Heat look like with Bosh. Year one didn’t look that great and Bosh was hospitalized midway through…but 2015-2016 will tell us a lot. It’s a chance for Bosh to climb through this list, let’s see if he can do it.

#72: Dwight Howard

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NBA Defensive Player of the Year: 3x (’09, ’10, ’11)

All-NBA 1st Team: 5x (’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ‘12)

All-NBA 2nd Team: 1x (’14)

All-NBA 3rd Team: 2x (’07, ’13)

All-NBA Defensive 1st Team: 4x (’09, ’10, ’11, ’12)

All-NBA Defensive 2nd Team: 1x (’08)

All-NBA Rookie 1st Team: (’05)

NBA All-Star: 8x (’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ’12, ’13, ’14)

NBA Top 5 MVP Voting: 4x (’08, ’09, ’10, ’11)

NBA Rebounds Leader: 6x (’06, ’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’12)

NBA Blocks Leader: 2x (’09, ’10)

NBA Top 5 Rebounds: 10x (’05, ’06, ’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11,’12, ’13, ‘14)

NBA Top 10 Blocks: 4x (’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ’12, ’13, ’14)

NBA Top 10 PER: 4x (’09, ’10, ’11, ‘12)

NBA Defensive Rating Leader: 3x (’09, ’10, ’11)

NBA Top 10 Defensive Rating: 6x (’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ’12)

NBA Defensive Win Shares Leader: 4x (’08, ’09, ’10, ’11)

NBA Top 10 Defensive Win Shares: 7x (’07, ’08, ’09, ’10, ’11, ’12, ’13)

NBA Top 10 Win Shares: 4x (’08, ’09, ’10, ’11)

NBA Top 5 WS/48: (’09, ’10, ’11)

NBA Career Rebounds: 34th

NBA Career Blocks: 25th

NBA Career Defensive Win Shares: 58 (28th)

Best Player on one Runner-Up: ’09 Magic

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 78th

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 86th

This whole time we thought that Dwight had the potential to be the next Shaq…only in reality Dwight was the evolutionary Dikembe Mutombo. That’s not a bad thing. Dwight gets this high on the list due to his great defensive resume and the fact he took the 2009 Magic to the NBA Finals. Perhaps you’re thinking this isn’t high enough for Dwight then. Here’s the counterpoint to that.

Dwight Howard dominated the NBA at a time where there was a dearth of top centers. Shaq was just about done and Andrew Bynum couldn’t stay healthy. Interestingly Yao Ming had tons of success against Dwight (Yao averaged 24-10, 56% FG with a 7-2 record vs. Dwight’s 12-10, 46% FG in head to head matches), but he couldn’t stay healthy either. But then the Joakim Noahs and Marc Gasols showed up and Dwight starting having back problems. He hasn’t been the same since 2011 really, and now it suddenly looks like the league has passed him by. Remember, teams like the Thunder and Cavs would add players like Kendrick Perkins and washed-up Shaq just to be able to single Dwight.

It doesn’t change that he had a legit argument for the 2011 MVP, or that he led the Magic to the 2009 NBA Finals. It doesn’t change that Dwight Howard at one point was dominant. It just means he was great for a short period time, never got better offensively (which would help him tons now) and is probably at best a #2 or #3 guy on a title team. Which still isn’t that bad. Like many others though, he should be better.

#71: Dennis Rodman

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NBA Defensive Player of the Year: 2x (’90, ‘91)

All-NBA 3rd Team: 2x (’92, ‘95)

All-NBA Defensive 1st Team: 7x (’89, ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93, ’95, ‘96)

All-NBA Defensive 2nd Team: 1x (’94)

NBA All-Star: 2x (’90, ‘92)

NBA Rebounds Leader: 4x (’92, ’93, ’94, ‘98)

NBA Top 10 Rebounds: 10x (’89, ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93, ’94, ’95, ’96, ’97, ‘98)

NBA Top 10 Offensive Rating: 2x (’89, ’90)

NBA Top 10 Defensive Rating: 9x (’88, ’89, ’90, ’91, ’92, ’95, ’96, ’97, ‘98)

NBA Defensive Win Shares Leader: 1x (‘92)

NBA Top 10 Defensive Win Shares: 5x (’90, ’91, ’92, ’94, ’98)

NBA Top 10 Win Shares: 1x (‘92)

NBA Career Rebounds: 22nd

NBA Career Defensive Win Shares: 54.5 (38th)

Role Player on two NBA Championship Teams: ’89 Pistons, ’90 Pistons

Starter on three NBA Championship Teams: ’96 Bulls, ’97 Bulls, ’98 Bulls

Role Player on one Runner-Up: ’88 Pistons

Simmons Pyramid Ranking (2010): 69th

Slam Magazine 500 Ranking (2011): 48th

One of the most destructive defensive players in NBA history. He was one of the first guys who could guard anyone from small point guards to centers. He gave Karl Malone fits in the 1997 and 1998 NBA Finals and played great in the 1996 NBA Finals as well, including 19 boards in the clincher. Despite being pretty much crazy in all aspects of his life, he got along well with two NBA teams known for having competitive personalities (the Bad Boy Pistons and the Post-Baseball Jordan Bulls).He only submarined one potential Champ, which was the 1995 Spurs (not joining huddles, missing/showing up late to practices, even showing up late for games). The good far outweighs the bad here.

His rebounds prowess was also quite incredible. It seemed like Rodman could grab a rebound from absolutely anywhere. Unlike guys like McGrady and Webber, it looked like Rodman made the most of his physical talent and left it all out on the court (most of the time). Did it help being teammates with Isiah Thomas and Michael Jordan? Of course. But you can’t argue with results.