Tag Archives: Brock Lesnar

Pro Wrestling

Wrestlemania XXXIII Preview

It is the biggest show of the year. Unfortunately, WWE treats it that way. Now you may say “isn’t that a good thing” but in this case it’s not. WWE manufactured every single “moment” at Wrestlemania XXXII, somehow failing to realize that the best part about Wrestlemania moments are when they are organically created. I mean The Rock basically came out with a neon sign that said “Wrestlemania moment coming now”.  It was a terrible show.

Has WWE learned from that? Wrestlemania XXXI was basically the opposite, with fans not entirely being excited about the card and instead getting an amazing show filled with great moments (The DX and NWO run-ins and Seth Rollins’ shocking title win, for two examples). What Wrestlemania will we get tonight? Let’s go through each match, pre-show and all, and throw in some potential appearances that could turn into real, organic moments.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Neville© vs. Austin Aries

Should be a really fun match on the pre-show and definitely the highest profile match for the division possible without Brian Kendrick. I expect Neville to retain the title though, he hasn’t held it long enough for the credible reign he needs. Potential moment? Some crazy high flying move from Neville probably.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

It’s kind of a shame that this is on the pre-show. Last year it was moved to the main card and rumors ran rampant that John Cena was going to win it…only for that move to mean Shaq was in it. Baron Corbin winning was pretty good though and WWE did capitalize it. Braun Strowman seems like the obvious winner, but I kinda think they are going to give it to Big Show again as a token of appreciation, especially with the Shaq match falling apart. Moment potential is Show’s win if it turns out to be his last match, or perhaps someone slamming him out like Cesaro back at Mania XXX.

Smackdown’s Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss © vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natayla vs. Naomi vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella

I was a bit surprised to find that Naomi made her return on Smackdown and was announced for the match. That could have been a cool Wrestlemania moment unless WWE thought she would be a disappointing surprise entrant. Also, I’m not sure if other Women can still be in this match or if it’s an official six-pack challenge. I’m not sure who’s winning here, but I am guessing the title will go back to Naomi here.

Raw World Tag Team Title: Gallows and Anderson © vs. Enzo and Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus

Throwing a ladder into the mix seemingly made this match feel more important. It should be a bit of a real old school ladder match though, as there isn’t a high flyer in this thing and that’ll be interesting. Seems about the right time for Enzo and Cass to win the titles, which would be a moment in itself.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose © vs. Baron Corbin

It’s been a rough year for Ambrose. He finally got a crack at the top and was completely exposed at that level. Now he’s in the IC title picture and should be dropping the title to Corbin. And I think he will. Not sure what moments can come from this really other than Corbin’s win. Making Corbin a clutch Wrestlemania type guy (he won the Andre Battle Royal last year) would be a great thing for him.

WWE Hall Of Fame

 

I don’t really know when this is going to happen on the card. But seeing Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania would be something. Maybe Angle will get involved in something?

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

Kudos to The Miz to getting himself into a high profile match at Wrestlemania. It’s a shame he’s not winning but really it’s what WWE does with Miz over the next year that really matters. The potential moment here is obvious, John Cena proposing to Nikki Bella. Get ready for that wedding at Summerslam.

United States Title: Chris Jericho © vs. Kevin Owens

JERIKO EXPLODES. It’s a bit of a shame this isn’t for the Universal title, but it should be a good one nonetheless. I also have a sneaky suspicion Chris Jericho is going over here, only for him to lose to Owens at Extreme Rules or whatever the next PPV is. Moment here could be something involving Jericho emotionally being upset about their Friendship being destroyed.

RAW Women’s Title: Bayley © vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

I really don’t buy Nia Jax in this match. She’s just not ready. I expect her to get Big Show at Wrestlemania 2000’d and be out quickly after a triple team. From there, it could be anyone and I think it’ll be Charlotte. It’s not like WWE suddenly pulled the plug on making Charlotte important. Potential moment: Sasha gets eliminated 2nd and turns on Bayley, leading to the Charlotte title win.

Shane McMahon vs. A.J. Styles

While I was hoping for a different match for Styles, putting him with a McMahon is still the highest profile match he’s ever had. And if anyone can get an amazing match out of Shane, it’s Styles. I’m pulling expecting some crazy jump from Shane that he’ll miss and AJ will win as a result. That’ll be your moment obviously.

Legends Segment

The Rock? Stone Cold? HBK? Mick Foley? I kinda expect Foley since it would be a shame he’d miss Mania after being around most of the year. As long as it isn’t the mess the Rock did last year it could be entertaining. Maybe Ronda will show up?!

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

Can’t fault HHH for putting over Reigns then Rollins back to back. This match should be quite good, and frankly I am surprised it isn’t main eventing. It’s the only match other than Styles vs. Shane that guaranteed to be good and has big match appeal. Rollins will then sink or swim as a top guy afterwards. I expect Samoa Joe to be involved…and if somehow HHH wins a Summerslam rematch will take place too. Then again Finn Balor could show up to fight off Joe.

WWE World Title: Bray Wyatt © vs. Randy Orton

I really wanted this story to continue. Orton’s turn came too early for me, and a triple threat with Luke Harper is much more interesting. I really hope we just aren’t going to see Orton pin Wyatt and that’s that, but Vince has reportedly been impressed with Orton, and he kinda owes him one for what Brock did to him at Summerslam. I see the title switch here, unfortunately.

WWE Universal Title: Goldberg © vs. Brock Lesnar

Either there will be tons of smoke and mirrors, or Lesnar is going over in three minutes max. I really hope it’s the latter. The Goldberg thing was interesting for a bit, but the ending needs to be Lesnar squashing him and moving on.

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

This is the rumored main event, which makes me think it’s Undertaker’s last match. Sad to say, but Taker looked pretty bad at the Rumble and Roman’s getting booed out the building. Undertaker deserves better than this if this is the end. I’m sure A.J. could have gotten a great match with him. The right decision is for Roman to go over, sadly.

And that’s Mania. I don’t like how it sounds, but WWE has surpassed the hype before and I hope this is one of those times. Enjoy.

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Summerslam 2013

WWE Summerslam 2013
August 18, 2013
Los Angeles, CA

YES!

YES?

YES!

Daniel Bryan is finally getting his moment.

We’re a year and a half removed from Bryan getting kicked in the face and beaten by Sheamus in 18 seconds. Ever since then fans all over the world have chanted YES! Louder and louder for Bryan. When John Cena announced he picked Bryan to be his opponent at for Summerslam the Barclays Center came unglued (trust me, I was there). Bryan has a chance to truly break the glass ceiling and follow in the footsteps of CM Punk. It was a hot storyline and a huge win over Cena that took Punk from jobber to the stars to top level star. It could be Bryan’s turn now. It SHOULD be Bryan’s turn now.

Speaking of Punk, he wasn’t happy. Punk had burnt himself out over the last year as the top guy and felt he was screwed out of the Wrestlemania 27 main event (I agree). He looked to take some time off, only to be asked to come back early (he wanted to be off till Summerslam, but he came back at Payback). Worse yet, he was upset that he had to job to Brock Lesnar because Lesnar was a part time guy.

Still, Summerslam had two really hot main events here with Cena vs. Bryan and Punk vs. Lesnar.

The Card

The Miz is our host and he hypes out main events. Why are we hyping main events when the show already started? Not sure.

Fandango comes out and the Miz mocks his dancing. Unfortunately, this was a good representation of why face Miz sucked.

No idea why Fandango was out dancing though. It’s not like he had a match.

We get the National Anthem too. No problem with that, but it seems like we’re wasting time early on.

Ring of Fire
Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

The Wyatts had just debuted and of course WWE put Kane against them. The Wyatts were an exciting new addition though, especially Bray.
I guess lighting someone on fire isn’t PG, so even though there is fire around the ring, the match ends by pin or submission. Oddly, Kane would be on fire next May anyway.

As with all Inferno matches, the match gets a lot of easy pops because the flames expand on all the big moves.

While funny at some points, the story of the match seems to be “how will Harper and Rowan get by the flames”, which sucks to be honest.

Harper and Rowan find their way in and destroy Kane.

Bray Wyatt pins Kane in 7:49. Sister Abigal (although it wasn’t called that yet) for the win. The whole Ring of Fire deal seemed pointless. Match wasn’t much of anything either. Harper and Rowan slam the stairs on Kane’s head in a way where there’s no chance it actually hit him. This would be the last we’d see Kane until he returned as Corporate Kane. Interestingly enough, Bray Wyatt may be one of the worst booked characters in WWE history if going by wins and losses (and how those wins were earned). I mean Kane pretty much destroyed him here. Not a good way to start the show.

Even Paul Heyman can make the story of David vs. Goliath seem interesting. And it’s a revisionist history nonetheless!

Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow

Team Rhodes Scholars broke up when Sandow stole the MITB match where Rhodes had it won, then declared Rhodes the “holder of the case”. This feud was great for both, and while Sandow was buried a few months later it allowed Rhodes to become one of the most popular stars on the roster…but he never got a big push out of it.

Sandow with a great line before the match: “I’m going to send Cody back to his family of carnival acts.” He’s not wrong there.

Cody Rhodes busts out a Muscle Buster. Take that Samoa Joe.

JBL on commentary states that statistically Sandow will be the next World Champion due to owning the MITB briefcase. Poor Sandow.

Cody Rhodes pins Damien Sandow in 6:40. Cross Rhodes for the win. Really fun and fast paced, but too short for sure. If this went double the time we would have had a great match here for sure. This should have been the opener.

World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio© vs. Christian

For both Wrestlemania and Summerslam in 2013, the World Heavyweight Title basically held the role of a midcard title. The World Heavyweight Title soon was merged with the WWE Title, so at least WWE was recognizing it. Anyway, the World Heavyweight Title was pretty hot in the months between Mania and Summerslam, as a red hot Dolph Ziggler cashed in MITB and won the title from Del Rio, but injuries and strange booking ruined that. Any popularity Del Rio got from his face turn in late 2013 died in the Ziggler feud, and people were sick of him as a heel.

Oddly, this match is being promoted as possibly Christian’s last big match. I actually don’t know when Christian retired as that was never made clear. While Christian’s 2011 run was fun, and he was still over in 2013, it was a little too late for fans to really believe he could be a top guy with a top belt.

This is when Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez were on the outs, which was the end of Ricardo (although there was a terrible feud with RVD involving him after this).

Pretty good so far. Del Rio has controlled, but he takes a huge bump to the outside that turns the tide.

Christian comes flying off the top and takes out Del Rio on the floor!

Backstabber off the turnbuckles! Really fun match so far.

Top rope hurricanrana from Christian! Fans really want Christian to win the title here.

We get a “This is Awesome” chant and the fans are right. This is awesome.

Huge pop for a spear from Christian, but he sells the injured shoulder!

Alberto Del Rio retains via submission in 12:30. Del Rio takes advantage of Christian’s injury and locks in the Cross Armbreaker (and put his hand on Christian’s eyes/face to lock it in which was a great touch). Really good match. I wish it was longer! Del Rio needs more opponents like Christian these days.

We get a Del Rio promo about Mexican fans needing a hero. Since we’re in LA, the fans get behind him. This was odd considering he was a heel at this point.

Brie Bella vs. Natayla

Basically a Total Divas commercial.

We get a JBL chant which tells you how much the crowd cares here. A Michael Cole chant follows…then a Jerry chant!

Brie Bella broke the Sharpshooter! There’s a spot I didn’t expect.

Natayla wins via submission in 5:19. Sharpshooter wins. Fans didn’t care for this obviously. No worse than any other Diva matches. Maybe a bit long.

Ryback bullies some cook in the back. There was an ill-advised heel turn.

No DQ
CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

Story is this: Paul Heyman believes that the Best in the World was him and Punk, and that Punk ruined that by losing the WWE Title and losing to The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Punk meanwhile tried to distance himself from Heyman. Heyman betrayed Punk at Money in the Bank and the next night brought out Brock Lesnar to punish Punk.

Off to a great start highlighted with a suicide dive by Punk! Crowd is clearly pro-Punk here.

Punk is hitting Lesnar at all angles with flying clotheslines. Great booking to allow Punk to get tons of offense in early on and not just get killed.

Lesnar is now destroying Punk. He puts a piece of table on Punk and jumps on it! Then a belly to belly on the floor. Great match so far.

Lesnar beats the crap out of Punk for about 5 minutes and it’s awesome. What a match.

Punk comeback time…although Lesnar almost gets an F5 out of Punk high knee. That was a creative spot.

Lesnar counters the Go 2 Sleep with the Kimora Lock! Great reversal!

Punk counters into a Triangle Chock! Great wrestling!

Lesnar counters with a running powerbomb and both men are down. What a match!

Top rope elbow drop with a chair from Punk…and Brock still survives!

One of the most creative counters to the F5 ever…Punk holds onto Heyman’s tie!

GTS…but Heyman breaks it up!

Punk nails the F5 into a DDT counter perfectly! Lesnar still kicks out!

Brock Lesnar pins CM Punk in 25:17. Punk knocks Heyman out and locks him in the Vise, but Lesnar beats the living crap out of Punk with a chair and hits the F5 for the win. There was only one thing I didn’t like about this match, which was that Punk kept turning his back on Lesnar to deal with Heyman. Other than that, this is a Match of the Year contender for sure. This was CM Punk’s last great match and it’s a shame WWE decided to waste him on Curtis Axel and Ryback after this.

Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee and Big E. Langston

Somehow Ziggler went from hottest young guy in the company to midcard fodder in the span of a few months. Worst part is Ziggler never would recover. This feud began when Ziggler broke up with AJ Lee.

Really…how did Ziggler at this point of his career end up in the death slot between Lesnar-Punk and Cena-Bryan? Baffling. Crowd is dead for this obviously.

Kaitlyn did have a great spear, that’s for sure and she levels AJ with it.

Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn win when Ziggler pinned Langston in 6:45. Zig Zag wins it. Nothing really notable here. Crowd’s just waiting for the main event here.

I admit Fandango interrupting Miz all night is a bit funny…but Miz disappointingly knocks him out.

WWE Championship-Triple H is the Special Referee
John Cena© vs. Daniel Bryan

After being pretty much the most entertaining performer in WWE since Wrestlemania 28 a year and a half earlier, WWE listened and finally gave Bryan the shot. The rest of the story after Cena announced Bryan as his opponent, Vince McMahon thought Bryan had to change his look to be a major star. This was the start of the B+ player angle.

Awesome monkey flip sequence early on.

Cena counters the surfboard by using his strength, which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen before actually.

Cena suplexes Bryan off the top of the steel steps, also an original spot.

Cena’s subtly heeling it up here, which only adds to the story that Bryan is the underdog.

We get some rolling German Suplexes, but Cena again uses his strength to get out of it.

Bryan begins to bust out the moveset with a front choke. While I thought the match did get a bit slow, it’s really picking up here.

Bryan superplexs Cena off the top rope, but hooks his legs so he doesn’t crash to the mat, which is brilliant. Flying headbutt follows up! Cena kicks out.

Cena hits his flying legdrop on a standing Bryan. That was awesome.

Another example of Cena’s strength, as Bryan goes for a top rope hurricanrana but Cena just blocks it and jumps down…then locks Bryan in the STF. Good storyline with Cena’s strength vs. Bryan’s wrestling here.

AWESOME clothesline from Cena that Bryan sells by spinning in the air. Wow!

Bryan goes for his top rope flip again, but Cena catches him for a AA…but Bryan counters that into a DDT!

Daniel Bryan wins the title by pin in 26:55. Bryan nails a flying dropkick (Shining Wizard) to win the title. Crowd was a little surprised there as this was the first time Bryan used it, but the fans are happy enough. Cena puts Bryan over clean. Another great match tonight…it would be match of the night probably any other PPV except this one because of Lesnar-Punk. Cena and Bryan shake hands and really Bryan couldn’t have been more put over.

During the celebration…MITB holder Randy Orton shows up…and referee HHH suddenly turns on Bryan! HHH pedigrees Bryan, and Orton cashes in!

Randy Orton wins the WWE Title by pin in :08. Pin is academic and Orton wins the title to close the show.

We had two or three great matches (depending on how you feel about Del Rio-Christian) and another really good one in Rhodes vs. Sandow. All the main events hit their marks for sure. There were some tough parts too…the Diva’s match was meh, Kane vs. Wyatt was meh and Ziggler was wasted. And then there’s this, despite how great the main events were nothing changed in WWE. In fact, historically this card practically meant nothing. WWE almost didn’t give Bryan his run on top…somehow we almost got Orton vs.Batista at Wrestlemania until the fans forced their hand. Despite the fact that Bryan had crazy momentum here they let Orton win their feud and moved Bryan down to a feud with the Wyatts. Punk feuded with Ryback and Axel, Heyman’s guys, which honestly was a huge step down from where Punk was. Lesnar should have been Punk’s end boss and instead Punk was just there to put Lesnar over. Unfortunately, that didn’t matter either since Lesnar’s feud with HHH killed his star power a bit…and Lesnar had to cheat in this one anyway (Lesnar would have to break Taker’s streak to get that star power back). Del Rio-Christian meant nothing as Del Rio dropped the World Title to Cena a couple months later, leading to Cena vs. Orton again. The only thing that seemed to matter was that HHH turned heel. What a waste.

Still a great show. Too bad WWE failed to capitalize.

Final Grade: A-

Pro Wrestling

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker: Five Reasons Why Each Should Win

Despite the fact that their Wrestlemania XXX match did not live up to the hype (well, the match itself didn’t, but the finish absolutely did), tonight’s Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker match at Summerslam has given the event a supercard feel. With Jon Stewart hosting (sure beats The Miz from a couple years ago), Stephen Amell in a match and our big name main event, Summerslam feels closer to Wrestlemania than it does to the rest of the WWE Network Special Schedule. Unlike Wrestlemania XXX, were it seemed to be a foregone conclusion that Undertaker was beating Brock (which of course led to the shock value of the finish), this year’s encounter can go either way. Here now are five reasons on why each competitor  should win tonight.

Five Reasons Brock Lesnar Should Win at Summerslam

  1. Brock Lesnar as a main attraction requires him to be an invincible monster.

Interestingly, by the time Taker and Lesnar locked up at Mania XXX, Brock Lesnar has lost most of his appeal as a major attraction. He will still very over, but it wasn’t the same as two years prior when he first showed up and confronted John Cena. He had suffered a couple of losses (to Cena and Triple H) and no one gave him a chance against the legendary Streak. When Lesnar ended the streak…a brilliant booking decision…it put him back in that special attraction slot. WWE smartly booked him to be an unstoppable monster from that point forward. He destroyed Cena. Cena seemingly almost got him back, but Lesnar still left with the title. He beat both Cena and Seth Rollins. He looked like a monster even as Roman Reigns fought him to a draw, and lost his title without being pinned. He destroyed Champ Rollins before Taker returned. All of this gets added to the numerous segments where Lesnar wrecked everyone and everything (like the RAW after Mania). Losing to the Undertaker undoes most of this, and there is still a lot of money left in the Brock Lesnar is a monster story.

  1. Brock Lesnar needs the win more than Undertaker.

With Wrestlemania XXXII on the horizon and WWE looking to break all kinds of attendance records, Brock Lesnar needs to be at the peak of his drawing power. There’s no Streak to conquer in the future to re-establish Lesnar as a special attraction. We can’t be wasting losses on the Undertaker.

  1. A loss means Lesnar vs. Undertaker III.

A route that WWE should not take is Lesnar-Taker III at Wrestlemania XXXII. But if Lesnar loses here, we probably need a rubber match between the two, and to be honest that’s not the best match possible for Mania. Really, the only Taker match out there that needs to happen is against Sting. Let Lesnar move on. It might be time to throw all the money in the world at The Rock for Lesnar vs. Rock…unless Vince thinks he is getting Stone Cold or HBK.

  1. Brock Lesnar just signed a new WWE contract.

As a result, there is no reason for WWE to not get the maximum out of Lesnar’s drawing power. If WWE resigned Lesnar just to lose to Undertaker and whomever, it’ll be a colossal waste. Someone beating Brock Lesnar will give a huge rub (one that almost went to Roman Reigns). WWE would be smart to maximize that.

  1. It’s not believable that Brock Lesnar would lose to Undertaker.

It would be one thing if this was in his prime Undertaker, but this is old man Undertaker and UFC ass kicker Brock Lesnar. After what happened at Wrestlemania XXX, would anyone buy the Undertaker still pulling the John Wayne and taking down the big bad guy at this point?

Five Reasons The Undertaker Should Win at Summerslam

  1. Undertaker needs momentum for his retirement match at Wrestlemania XXXII.

Like Lesnar, we don’t want to lose the specialness of Undertaker’s draw and character. A lot of that was taken away at Wrestlemania XXX when he lost the Streak. A lot of people didn’t care about Taker beating Bray Wyatt. If he loses again, will anyone really care about him come Wrestlemania XXXII?

  1. Undertaker has never beaten Brock Lesnar in a 1 vs. 1 PPV Match.

Undertaker currently sports a 0-3-1 record against Lesnar in PPV Matches (losses at No Mercy ’02, No Mercy ’03 and Mania XXX. The lone draw was at Unforgiven ’02). To complete his legacy, a win over Lesnar may be necessary.

  1. Undertaker’s Last Non-Wrestlemania PPV win was five and a half years ago.

The last time Undertaker won a PPV match that wasn’t a Wrestlemania? Royal Rumble 2010 against Rey Mysterio. How crazy is that? It’s also been nearly five years since he’s even wrestled on a non-Mania PPV. Wouldn’t it be disappointing for him to lose in his first Summerslam match since 2008?

  1. Undertaker needs to avenge his Wrestlemania XXX loss.

We all remember the aftermath of Taker vs. Lesnar at Mania XXX. Shocked fans. A concussed Undertaker slowly walking to the back. Like Cena when he came back on RAW after Lesnar destroyed him at Summerslam last year (and some kids felt that their hero was still alive), Undertaker’s fans need to see that the Deadman isn’t done. The fans need that closure.

  1. The Undertaker might not be as done as we think.

Raise your hand if you had the Undertaker wrestling at Summerslam this year. Who’s to say we aren’t getting a Survivor Series or Royal Rumble match this year leading up to the retirement match at Wrestlemania XXXII? Hell, who says he’s retiring at Wrestlemania XXXII? He’s “only” 50. Everyone saw how badly he was beat up at Wrestlemania XXX and assumed he was done. Well, when you get concussed, that’s how things go. He looked better at Wrestlemania XXXI against Wyatt. How do we know he doesn’t have five years left of this?

In the end, as much as I love the Undertaker…the smart business decision is to let Brock go over. He’s the big draw. People are going to watch Taker vs. Sting at Wrestlemania XXXII (or Cena, I guess) no matter what happens at Summerslam. Don’t screw up Lesnar again WWE.

Pro Wrestling

Running Diary of the Go Home RAW for Wrestlemania XXXI

Just a running collection of my thoughts regarding the RAW before Wrestlemania. I haven’t really been able to get through RAW since…a while now. I’m already sold on the show since I have the Network…but this is the chance to really sell me if that makes sense. You have three hours WWE (I’m not watching Smackdown!).

8:00: Sold out Staples Center. Lesnar-Reigns face to face tonight! We get Snoop Dogg AND Bill Simmons tonight.

8:02: We kick off RAW with Sting. It does feel weird to write that. I really hope they go with the WCW crow theme at Mania and now the Unholy Alliance remix they’ve been using.

8:05: Sting already alleviates one of my fears for Mania. The build-up has been about WCW vs. WWE where Sting is WCW. Sting here says he’s not fighting for a forgotten war, he’s just here to bring HHH down. Good.

8:06: Here comes Stephanie!

8:09: Steph rambles a bit, but she tears into Sting well despite bring back the WCW narrative Sting just killed and she goes for the slap! Sting blocks! Here comes HHH!

8:11: Steph gives HHH the sledgehammer…but Sting has his trusty bat! HHH walks away from this one but Sting wants more! Steph says to save it for Mania. I can’t help but think they should have went with this more fun Sting than the dark brooding Sting for this feud. Anyway awesome segment to open.

8:14: No commercial here. Dean Ambrose is on his way out. I assume this is a tag with the IC Title ladder match guys. THEN we get the commercial.

8:19: It’s R-Truth and Ambrose against Stardust and Harper with IC Champ Barrett doing commentary.

8:29: Tornado DDT from Ambrose on Harper. There’s a move you don’t see often anymore.

8:30: Truth and Ambrose win. Truth getting the pin makes me feel like he’s not winning (not that I thought he would). Good tag team match nonetheless. Dean Ambrose starts dancing with Truth. It’s be great to add an edge to Ambrose’s character and have him knock out Truth, but he doesn’t.

8:38: Pre-taped interview with Roman Reigns. Nothing special here. Reigns just isn’t the man….yet. They should have done this for Mania 32.

8:40: Bill Simmons on commentary. Let’s do it!

8:42: Amazing what a reaction Mizdow gets.

8:46: 10 Man Tag involving all the guys in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. There’s two big multi-man matches at Mania and they are both getting what seems to be meaningless tag matches as their final build up. I guess that’s okay though for the battle royal at least.

8:53: Ryback pins Miz to win for his team. Not sure what Bill Simmons was supposed to add here.

9:00: We get the Randy Orton match for the 9 o’clock slot. This match was voted by the fans online. He faces either Big Show, Kane, or Rollins and J&J Security. I’d be shocked if it wasn’t Rollins.

9:01: Rollins and J&J wins 77% of the vote. There was 11% who wanted Orton vs. Show. Well then.

9:03: IN-RING RETURN OF JAMIE NOBLE!

9:06: Noble does the job for Orton. Just build here of course.

9:09: AJ and Paige can’t decide who gets the WWE Divas Championship match later. It seems like they are just going to rehash the frenemies deal again.

9:10: I can believe Bray Wyatt is the new face of fear. Let me believe WWE.

9:15: Looks like Paige was picked. Paige and AJ used to hate one another, no? Then again, so did the Bellas.

9:26: A second Alabama Slam tonight. I wonder if that’s forshadowing a Hardcore Holly return. I think Paige is winning this by the way.

9:27: Oh, I shoulda saw that coming. AJ accidentally elbows Paige and Nikki gets the Rack Attack to retain. I thought Paige was winning as it’s rumored the Bellas are leaving soon. But the obvious AJ-Paige mishap was obvious. Ah well. By the way, that was an awesome match and hopefully a result of #GiveDivasaChance. Nikki has improved leaps and bounds.

9:30: Ziggler vs. Bryan where one of the other IC Title ladder match participants is the special ref? Now that’s an interesting stip!

9:31: Snoop Dogg is next. Yay?

9:36: The crowd does not care about Snoop Dogg.

9:37: #AXELMANIA!

9:39: I did not expect Hulkamania that’s for sure. Hogan went over Mr. Perfect back in the day…maybe he’ll put over Hennig’s kid?!

9:42: Snoop gets to throw Axel out of the ring. I really hope they don’t keep Axel going with just laughs. I’m as shocked as anyone thinking this, but there’s money in Curtis Axel.

9:44: Brock Lesnar: “At Wrestlemania I am gonna fuck up Roman Reigns. The End.” That’d make a good t-shirt.

9:48: 6 Person Inter-species tag match. Matadors and El Torito against Cesaso, Kidd and Nattie. Usos, Cesaro and Kidd, Los Matadors and New Day at Mania pre-show. I will say Tyson Kidd deserves tons of credit for remaining relevant all this time. It’s not his fault he became irrelevant at one point though.

9:53: El Torito pins Nattie for the win. Well then.

9:55: IC Champ Barrett is asked by Kane to give him the IC belt to hang up. I wonder if this is planting a face seed for Barrett.

10:00: OMG where’s Lana?

10:02: WE WANT LANA! WE WANT LANA! Of course we do.

10:05: Rusev finishes off Jack Swagger pretty quickly. Rusev doesn’t let the Accolade go, so of course here comes Cena for the save. Rusev gets the better of Cena. That does not bode well for Rusev at Mania.

10:10: Rusev destroys Cena. What a convincing bad ass. All serious here too.

10:17: Wyatt time!

10:23: Amazing promo from Wyatt. Just give him all the belts and main events now. Seriously.

10:28: Kevin Nash in the Hall of Fame. Makes perfect sense. Diesel was my first favorite wrestler actually.

10:33: Tyson Kidd is hilarious. It’s great that he finally has a chance to show off his personality.

10:36: Weird how Bryan and Ziggler are basically in the midcard…yet there are six world titles between them.

10:36: Dean Ambrose wins the vote to be the ref.

10:51: Ziggler beats Bryan again. Ambrose attacks afterwards of course. All the IC guys go at it afterwards. This is much better build than earlier.

11:00: Well…Here Comes the Pain. Yeah I know that’s a dated reference but it still applies.

11:09: Paul Heyman might be the best ever on the mic. Roman Reigns is here now and he’s getting booed out of the building.

11:11: Wow, show closes with Reigns and Lesnar doing a tug-o-war with the title. Probably smart not to have Roman say anything after Heyman’s incredible promo.

I won’t lie though, after a string of pretty bad RAWs, this one was a great one in the lead up for Wrestlemania. Good stuff WWE.

 

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE No Way Out 2004

2004NoWayOut

No Way Out 2004
February 15, 2004
Daly City, CA
Reviewed April 17, 2014

Background: Eddie fuckin’ Guerrero.

I could end right there. This PPV is 90% about the rise of Eddie Guerrero. For the last year Eddie Guerrero was the most popular wrestler in WWE period. He’s a perfect example of a guy getting the World Title purely on how the crowd reacted to him. No one deserved it more at the time other than perhaps Benoit, who’d get it himself a month later.

WWE had been in their Brand Extension format for nearly two years now. It seemed that Smackdown was the “wrestling” show where RAW was WCW-lite (HHH wrestled Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner and Goldberg in PPV main events in 2003…nevermind that Evolution is a Four Horsemen ripoff anyway). And Eddie Guerrero was the perfect guy to represent the wrestling part of the company.

The other major thing to note is we do see a bit of the continued rise of John Cena here. Obviously, that would be important later.

The Card

Sable and Torrie kick off the PPV. They were not feuding here. They welcome us to the PPV. Nice waste of time.

WWE Tag Team Championship-Handicap Match
Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty© vs. The Bashams and Shaniqua

I usually hate this idea.

Rikishi gets a good reaction. To be honest…we are way past Rikishi being a guy that matters and in fact he’d be released a few months later.

I swear Scotty would have been way more successful is he didn’t have the WORM. He gets attacked during it or after it every time.

Nice slam from Shaniqua to Scotty.

Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty retain when Rikishi pinned Shaniqua in 8:16. Banzaii Drop for the win. This was the end of the Linda Miles era I believe. Match was pretty boring, and perhaps the most formulaic tag team match I’d ever seen on PPV. I mean whoever put it together didn’t even try.

Half Blindfold Match
Jamie Noble (Blindfolded) vs. Nidia

Ugh.

Story here: Noble and Nidia’s relationship went to hell. Tajiri blinded Nidia with the Mist and she was blinded for weeks. Noble treated her like crap. Nidia got revenge by putting a $5k mink coat in a woodchipper. And she got this match.

Noble takes off the hood early on and the ref says he would DQ him.

Match goes as you’d expect it. Nidia with a lot of funny hit and runs.

Nidia pants Noble.

Jamie Noble beats Nidia by submission in 4:23. Noble cheats and peaks under the hood and tosses Nidia off the top rope. Then he locks in a Dragon Sleeper which seems a bit excessive for the win. Obviously this was absolute crap. Tajiri, Sakota and Akio vs. Paul London, Billy Kidman and Ultimo Dragon was bumped to the pre-show for this crap.

Kurt Angle interview. John Cena interrupts. They had feuded and teamed in 2003. Cena slaps him and they go at it.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. The APA

Someone want to explain why this isn’t for the Tag Team Titles but the earlier BS was? Even worse since these four teams would be against one another at Mania anyway.

Story: Bradshaw’s arm was injured on Smackdown. He comes out with a soft cast.

ONE OF THESE MEN WOULD BE WWE CHAMP IN FIVE MONTHS!

Benjamin works the arm. Go psychology!

Bradshaw basically ignores his injury after the hot tag.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team win when Benjamin pinned Bradshaw in 7:19. Clothesline from Hell…but he hurt his arm doing it and Benjamin got a superkick for the win. Not good. APA didn’t seem to really try. I guess it was matches like this that people pointed to when JBL won the title.

Goldberg is here. He has a front row ticket! Him and Lesnar had been feuding. Lesnar cost Goldberg the Royal Rumble match.

Paul Heyman is out here. He’s pissed about Goldberg.

Brock’s out here now too. Heyman wants to get Goldberg arrested.

Goldberg gets in there and gets a Jackhammer! Time for him to get arrested. I like how his theme plays when he gets arrested.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno

Story: None, this match was made on Smackdown. Actually, half this card was.

Funny note about Hardcore Holly. Holly came back with that mini-feud with Lesnar. And once Lesnar beat him at the Rumble…that was it. Like they didn’t even think past that match for anything Hardcore could do. I don’t even think he’s on the Mania card.

Holly does come out when Lesnar is still in the ring, so there’s that I guess. Not that it went anywhere since Lesnar was leaving next month.

Cole tells us the match was made Sunday Night on Heat, so I gave WWE too much credit with the Smackdown origin then. (Cole says they wrestled on Smackdown though, so whatever).

I like Hardcore Holly and Rhyno…but no one cared about either of them at this point.

They are trying to do the whole smashmouth hard hitting match…but it just isn’t working here.

Rhyno with a great spinebuster there.

GORE…but Holly rolls out of the ring to avoid being pinned.

Hardcore Holly pins Rhyno in 9:54. Bad looking Alabama Slam for the win. Bad match. Very boring. No one cared. Bad first hour of wrestling here.

Rey-Chavo promo.

UNDERTAKER PROMO! Crowd popped huge for that. He’s coming in 28 days!

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Rey Mysterio© vs. Chavo Guerrero

I feel like I just reviewed this match (I did, GAB 04).

Story focuses on Chavo’s heel turn and alliance with Chavo Classic.

Rey has famous boxer Jorge Paez with him. No idea why.

Chavo Classic breaks up a West Coast Pop, and gets knocked out by Paez. Paez gets thrown out. Big pop for the KO though.

Awesome Moonsault near the end from Rey.

Nice West Coast Pop reversal into the half crab.

Chavo Guerrero wins the title in 17:21 by pin. Chavo Classic comes back and knocks Rey off the top, and Chavo rolls Rey up and holds the tights for the win. I didn’t write a lot, but it was the standard Chavo’s mat game vs. Rey’s air game. A good match that this PPV dearly needed.

Not Chavo’s best post-match promo.

#1 Contender to the World Title
John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

A lot of stories intertwined here to get to this point. Show and Angle had feuded in the past. Angle and Cena as well. They were all in the same match at Survivor Series where Cena pinned Show to win.

A lot of 1 on 1 stuff early on.

Angle actually tries to German Suplex Big Show off the apron. That would have been something.

Pretty sure Cena has FUed Big Show in every match he ever had with him.

Kurt Angle wins when he makes John Cena submit in 12:18. Angle dumps Show over the top rope…and he makes Cena submit to the Ankle Lock. Second half of the match was fun and the first half really wasn’t bad either. Surprised this wasn’t longer. Fans wanted Cena here to be honest. But, while Cena is hurt…Eddie chants start, so you know what the fans want.

WWE World Championship
Brock Lesnar© vs. Eddie Guerrero

Story: Eddie won a Smackdown Rumble to get a shot at the title. Then, the classic underdog story.

Lesnar owns early with power moves. Good start to this story.

Lesnar just drops Eddie on his head. Sure that might have been a botch…but it looked damn sick.

All Brock early.

Man Lesnar does the Shell Shock a lot better than Ryback.

Eddie gets some offense…but Brock takes him right back down. Love how this match is structured.

Eddie works on the knee…before he’s stun gunned into the top rope. Really making it look like Brock is far superior than Eddie…which works VERY well here.

STF from Eddie. Huge pop! People might have bought this as a finish as the STF wasn’t widely used yet.

Lasso From El Paso! Then back to the STF…which again gets a nice pop.

What a spinebuster! Ouch.

Great psychology with Lesnar selling the knee everywhere, even when he’s doing a vertical suplex.

Lesnar yells at Eddie to “JUST DIE”. Just a great match in every way here.

“GIVE UP LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!” Lesnar is awesome.

Three Amigos to Lesnar!

Frog Splash…misses! I think everyone thought that was hitting.

F5…but Guerrero accidentally takes out the ref with his feet! Brock has Eddie beat, which was a great way to keep him strong (even though it wasn’t needed).

GOLDBERG. SPEAR TO LESNAR!

Amazing false finish as Lesnar kicks out!

Time for Eddie to cheat!

A great swerve as Lesnar actually ducks the belt shot and goes for a F5…the crowd loudly groans…but Eddie turns it into a Tornado DDT on the belt!

Eddie Guerrero wins the WWE Title by pin in 30:07. Guerrero hits the Frog Splash for the win and MONSTER pop. Great celebration follows. Incredible match, arguable Match of the Year for 2004. Great story, great psychology, great moments, great false finishes, just wow all around. And it furthered the Lesnar-Goldberg feud (also great idea that the Goldberg spear wasn’t what beat Lesnar, Eddie beat Lesnar). Shame that Lesnar left at Mania, as Eddie vs. Lesnar could have been awesome to go through the summer with.

I mean, this was basically advertised as a one match show, but wow did that match deliver. A lot can be forgiven when the main event is incredible.

The first hour and fifteen minutes of this PPV sucked. Four bad (or awful) matches. Rey vs. Chavo helped, and the three way was good. Main event was of course, awesome.

Something that hurts the PPV a little bit is that there’s no historical value here. Unfortunately, while it was great to see Eddie as champ, it didn’t last and it didn’t lead to an era of change for WWE. Cena and Batista were the champs 13 months later. Lesnar was gone. Cena had a role, but nothing big for him. Angle was a bit stale at this point. I mean the man who eventually beat Eddie for the title was pinned in a throw away tag match.

Due to the awesome main and awesome moment, I wanted to go B+, but the really crappy beginning and lack of historical influence knock it a little bit. Without the main though, this is a C at best.

Final Grade: B

Pro Wrestling

The Fastlane to Wrestlemania

FastLane replaces the Elimination Chamber
FastLane replaces the Elimination Chamber

WWE Fastlane replaces the Elimination Chamber Pay-Per-View (rumored to be done later in the year) as the penultimate PPV stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. After a lackluster Royal Rumble, WWE has created one of the least exciting atmospheres on the Road to Wrestlemania in recent memory. While a lot of this has to do with the Royal Rumble winner Roman Reigns, it moreso is the issue of new talent not being pushed properly, popular talent being made fools of (see Ambrose, Dean) and a thin roster overall. The most interesting rivalries are HHH vs. Sting, Bray Wyatt against whomever he is talking about, presumably The Undertaker and Daniel Bryan vs. Reigns, which seemingly has a forced narrative after Reigns was booed out of Philadelphia at the Royal Rumble. Three of the six of those matches have legendary guys that don’t (or rarely) wrestle on any of the other PPVs, one is Wyatt, who while interesting, is interesting despite of the booking crew. Bryan of course should be the top guy in the company right now no question, and Reigns is the guy WWE wants to be the top guy.

Fans want Bryan at the top
Fans want Bryan at the top

This forced push of Roman Reigns has led to WWE spinning their wheels. Roman Reigns has an amazing look and a ton of charisma, and is even a bit underrated as a worker (not different than Kevin Nash in 1995 really) but his monster push has turned fans against him. WWE might be turning him heel here…in the long run him fighting Bryan is only going to lead to a heel turn where WWE intended it or not. This is the best route though. If Reigns beats Bryan at Fastlane and gets his WWE Title shot against Brock Lesnar, Lesnar would be just fine as a face. The strength of Lesnar’s character is that for all intents and purposes what you see is what you get. Lesnar is a prize fighter who doesn’t really care about the business and is out to make his money. He doesn’t pretend to like anyone. He is true to himself. And honestly, while the reasoning is quite heelish, as a fan I can cheer that. I want to see Lesnar destroy the “WWE’s golden boy” Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns would be better off doing the same in being true to himself, and aligning himself with the Authority.

Rollins made himself a star at the Rumble
Rollins made himself a star at the Rumble

My favorite scenario for Wrestlemania? Lesnar vs. Reigns vs. Bryan vs. Money in the Bank Winner Seth Rollins. Lesnar is the champ. Having both Reigns and Bryan there make sense given their storyline at the moment. Rollins would be a great guy to say “hey, I almost beat Lesnar and Cena at the Rumble. I deserve to be in the main event at Wrestlemania and I’ll force my way in”. Also make this an elimination match. If Lesnar is leaving, you can still have Reigns Superman punch him to take him out of the match and give him that rub. Let Bryan and Rollins steal the show. Put the belt on Bryan and have Rollins and Reigns chase him, then Wyatt and Rusev afterwards. And don’t tell me there isn’t money in another Bryan vs. Cena match.

The other matches at Fastlane don’t quite excite me. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro hopefully will get a nice run with the tag titles. They remind me a little bit of Razor Ramon and the 1-2-3 Kid. I really don’t care about The Bella Twins anymore and I’m one of the few who isn’t a huge Paige fan, although her appearance on Total Divas is making me one. Rusev vs. Cena is interesting in the sense that Wrestlemania won’t be the beginning of their feud, and hopefully will end it. I’m fine with Cena ending Rusev’s undefeated streak for sure, but I want Rusev to come out on top at the end. Bad Bews Barrett I think is a little past the point of where I really care about him. It’s a shame as I wanted Barrett to be the World Champ every year through 2013. Ambrose, good as he is, just hasn’t been the same since the Shield broke up. That’s another booking disaster. I can’t say I care about the Dust Brother feud. I like them both and as a face team I enjoyed them. This is the closest they’ll get to that dream feud Goldust wanted between him and his brother years ago at Wrestlemania. I assume Sting shows up and I hope they fix that music. At the end of the night, we’ll know where we are at for Wrestlemania. I just hope it’s a good place.

Pro Wrestling

2015 WWE Royal Rumble Preview

royalrumble2015

The 2015 Royal Rumble is upon us. I will be attending the event, my 2nd Rumble (2008 in MSG), even though my interest in the current state of the WWE is at an all-time low. A great Royal Rumble though and all of that can change. To be honest, we haven’t had a real crowd pleasing winner of the Royal Rumble since 2010 when Edge returned from a seven month neck injury and won. In 2011 Alberto Del Rio won, opened Wrestlemania, lost to Edge and won Money in the Bank. In 2012 Sheamus surprisingly outlasted Chris Jericho, beat Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds at Wrestlemania and has had his career take a nosedive since. John Cena won the 2013 version just to set-up a rematch with The Rock at Wrestlemania XXIX. Batista made his return to the ring in 2014 to win the Rumble match, and pissed off the entire WWE Universe in the process. Fun fact here is that two of these Royal Rumble results cemented Daniel Bryan as a top guy, and yet he wasn’t apart of either of them (2012 because of what happened at Wrestlemania and 2014, which we will get to).

Let’s talk about the 2014 Royal Rumble. First, we’ll compare it to a scenario to a previous Royal Rumble: the 1998 version.

In 1998 there was clearly one man who was to win the Royal Rumble: Stone Cold Steve Austin. Any other situation would have made absolutely no sense. Business wise, logic wise, any of it. No sense whatsoever. Austin had to win. This was because of his anti-authority attitude that had been in place all the way back to the 1997 Royal Rumble. Austin was the most popular wrestler (really, in both major promotions at that time) in the WWF and a showdown with Shawn Michaels was where the obvious money was.

Daniel Bryan is perhaps the most popular wrestler since John Cena himself in 2005. The crowd has connected with him in an insane way that even CM Punk couldn’t accomplish in his 2011 run (matches in Chicago notwithstanding…and really this whole thing wasn’t his fault anyway). Bryan pretty much got his 2013 Summerslam World Title match because of his crowd reactions, and promptly beat Cena clean for the title. This led to a feud with The Authority when Triple H pedigreed Bryan and Randy Orton cashed in Money in the Bank to steal the title from him. Bryan would get close, but fail at regaining the title (except for one day) throughout the rest of 2013. The feud was clearly designed for Bryan to win the Royal Rumble and get one last shot at Orton, where he would ultimately win the title. Sometimes the obvious route is the best one.

Going back to 1998, imagine if The Ultimate Warrior returned and won that Royal Rumble while Stone Cold wasn’t in it? That would pretty much suck, wouldn’t it? Well we got the same thing in 2014 with Batista. And surprise surprise…it sucked. It did make it seem that there was a star in the making (who was already being pushed hard anyway) in Roman Reigns, as Reigns broke the elimination record and finished runner up to Batista. Still, the WWF had to rectify the situation, and Bryan got his World Title victory at Mania. And it was pretty awesome at that.

Austin vs. McMahon made the '98 Rumble obvious.
Austin vs. McMahon made the ’98 Rumble obvious.

Fast forward to 2015. We have a new obstacle in Bryan’s way, Diesel Power 2K15. I’ll explain in a moment, but first let’s go over why Daniel Bryan should be winning this match. For one, he’s still the most popular wrestler in the promotion. Now he has the injury comeback going for him. Bryan broke his neck and there were even retirement rumors for him throughout 2014, cutting short his title reign. How could there be any more money made than Bryan coming back in the Rumble and winning it outright? It’s a storyline that’s worked one way or another in 2001 with Austin, 2002 with Triple H, 2008 with Cena and 2010 with Edge. Once again Daniel Bryan is the clear path to an awesome Wrestlemania main event, where he could face Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title in a version of the Wrestlemania X Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna title match. We even have our Lex Luger in Roman Reigns.

I have no issues with Reigns, but the writing team has screwed him over a ton. He still doesn’t have the workrate down pat either. He had his Diesel Power moment at Summerslam when he kicked out of Randy Orton’s super RKO. The Diesel Power moment refers to Diesel strongly kicking out of Shawn Michaels’ superkick at Wrestlemania XI. He’s just not ready yet. I do think Roman Reigns has the tools to be a huge star down the line. He’s just not there yet. WWE has constantly blown top face runs by pushing them way too fast. Best example is Sheamus beating Bryan in 18 seconds. There’s big money in Reigns, but if he’s pushed way too fast too soon, he will fall. The best thing for Reigns to do is to fight someone like Big Show at Wrestlemania. It worked for Cena didn’t it? If Roman Reigns wins the 2015 Royal Rumble…he will be booed out of the building as fans chant “NO! NO! NO!” They want Bryan. He’s the logical choice once again.

Fans did not want Batista to win the Rumble
Fans did not want Batista to win the Rumble

The other key component of the Royal Rumble is the WWE World Title Match itself. There’s an argument for any of Cena, Lesnar or Seth Rollins to win the title. I’m pretty much the only person in the world who isn’t a huge fan of Rollins and I don’t think he’s quite earned the right to defend the WWE Title at Wrestlemania yet (he too can get there one day though. I just think he won MITB because Bad News Barrett got hurt). I don’t see Seth Rollins having the name value needed to main event a Wrestlemania in a World Title match yet (this is one of the drawbacks of having only one world title, although it’s still better that way). That leaves Cena and Lesnar. If Bryan wins the Rumble, either one of these winning the title will be fine. Cena vs. Bryan II would be awesome, and I already outline why Lesnar and Bryan would be awesome.

The other matches on the card don’t have huge implications. Mizdow seem to be breaking up soon, so I assume they aren’t winning the titles back from the Usos. I don’t even know why The Bellas are back together and I really don’t care. It’s a shame as I was a fan of the Bellas right up until Nikki turned on Brie. The New Age Outlaws being back last year and winning the tag titles was good for nostalgia, but hopefully The Ascension gets the win they need as they’ve been treated like a joke since their call up to WWE. I think the Outlaws are going to steal a Mania payday though. I’m not sure how Tyson Kidd, Cesaro and Adam Rose became a trio, but their match against The New Day seems irrelevant.

As for surprise Rumble entrants, I’ve heard about a couple but I’m trying to keep this spoiler free. I’ll just write for those I am hoping for that in no way have been confirmed or I’ve heard about. RVD (I’m a RVD mark and its Philly), The Sandman, Raven, The Dudley Boyz (all ECW talents. Raven is by far the least likely and Sandman isn’t likely either. The Dudleyz wouldn’t shock me now that they are free from TNA.), and someone totally out of nowhere, like Flash Funk (he was from Philly, right? He also has a Philly ECW rep).

But none of this matters unless Daniel Bryan wins at the end. Do the ring thing WWE.

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews the WWE 2003 Royal Rumble

Royal_Rumble_2003

WWE Royal Rumble 2003
January 19, 2003
Boston, MA

The Brand Extension is in full force.

The WWE has established their monopoly of pro wrestling in the United States at this point (TNA was still pretty new…although they’d never be a real threat anyway). Vince McMahon decided he needed to instill competition into the product and the Brand Extension was born. The Brand Extension allowed WWE to push new talent, although it would be shown a lot of them weren’t ready for the challenge.

One of them that looked more than ready was Brock Lesnar. Lesnar, who just dropped the WWE Title at Survivor Series was on his way to the massive face push that would make him the WWE’s top guy (Lesnar would be the Hogan on Smackdown, where HHH would be the Flair on RAW). In a post Austin and full time Rock world, WWE needed to create some megastars on top in the babyface mold. HHH showed he was a lot better off as a heel. Undertaker would never fit that mold. Austin was gone, Rock was basically gone. Goldberg wasn’t here yet. Angle was a heel at the time (although he got a shot at the face run later) and Benoit would never have the charisma to be that guy, although he got a shot later.

Still, the early days of Brand Extension provided interesting content on both sides for sure. Returning legends (HBK, Hogan, Flair), guys way too talented not to be in the main event but somehow not in it (Jericho, Benoit, Booker T), top guys who weren’t ready to leave the top (Taker, HHH) and top newcomers (Lesnar) were just some of the elements out there. I mean in that group I didn’t even mention Angle or Big Show.

Let’s see how the first Brand Extension Royal Rumble plays out.

The Card

Winner Gets in the Royal Rumble
Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Story here: Lesnar dropped the WWE Title (and was pinned for the first time) to Big Show at Survivor Series when Paul Heyman turned on him. In actuality two things caused that change: Lesnar had injured ribs that WWE wasn’t sure of the extent of, and WWE was planning Lesnar vs. Angle at Mania and decided to switch the face/heel alignments, so had to make Lesnar a face. Of course, face Angle had to beat heel Big Show for the belt, which led to a weird Angle heel turn, but I guess that was the best way to make this happen. Angle would JOIN Heyman afterwards, and for some reason this didn’t turn Big Show face.

Back to the story, Lesnar then cost Big Show the title at Armageddon against Angle. So we got this match. I’m usually not a big fan of these type matches, as for a storyline like this it’s obvious Lesnar is winning this match AND the Rumble. There was one other option for the Rumble winner, which I’ll get into when we get there.

The way Lesnar would just suplex Big Show all over the place was ridiculous.

The way Show would throw Lesnar around was also ridiculous. While he obviously could, no one else did anything like that to Brock up to this point.

Big Show does a great, if not hilarious shocked face when Lesnar kicks out of the chokeslam.

Brock Lesnar pins Big Show in 6:29. Lesnar escapes a 2nd chokeslam attempt, and gets the F5! That’s so damn impressive and the crowd pops huge. Lesnar gets the pin and is in the Rumble. Good match, if only for how smooth Lesnar is in throwing around Big Show. These two had a strange chemistry.

Terri interviews Chris Jericho. She asks him about Jericho choosing #2 when he had the choice to pick any number. Jericho says because HBK was #1 Jericho HAD to be #2. This was setting up the Jericho-HBK feud.

Jericho sure got A LOT of mileage out of beating Austin and Rock the same night to become Undisputed Champion (as he should have).

RAW World Tag Team Championship
William Regal and Lance Storm vs. The Dudley Boyz

This would be the third Rumble in a row that the Dudleyz were in the World Tag Title slot. They are already 15 Time World Tag Team Champions at this point.

Regal and Storm were what was left of the UnAmericans. Test started being advertised by male genitalia. Christian became Jericho’s sidekick.

Regal still had the brass knuckles gimmick going at this point as well.

The Dudleyz actually weren’t stale here, as they were split up throughout most of 2002 due to the Brand Extension (that led to Reverend D-Von!). D-Von was part of the Big Show to Smackdown trade and immediately rejoined Bubba at Survivor Series.

One of the problems with the Dudley reunion was they didn’t change anything up at all. They literally acted like the same team they always did, moves and all.

Chief Morley comes out to argue about something, and Regal has Brass Knucks!

The Dudley Boyz wins the title when D-Von pinned Storm in 7:24. Regal has the Knucks…but gets the 3D anyway. D-Von picks up the knucks and nails Storm for the win. A good pop for the Dudley title win. This is a waste of Storm and Regal though. Match wasn’t anything special and pretty boring.

Nathan Jones promo! He escaped from prison in Tasmania! It’s like Nailz all over again.

Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Oh god. This storyline was Wrestlecrap from the get go. Dawn Marie fell in love with Torrie Wilson’s father, Al Wilson. This at first seemed like an attempt to have a fling with Torrie, which was “shown” at Armageddon. Dawn and Al continued their relationship and got married, but Al died on the honeymoon because of a heart attack as a result of too much sex or something. Then Torrie and Dawn fought at the wake. It was actually worse than it sounds.

I mean who the hell thought any of that was a good idea?

Torrie doesn’t fall on the Dawn Marie armbar. That could have been a broken arm right there.

Dawn Marie with a springboard clothesline! How about that. It didn’t look great though.

Torrie Wilson pins Dawn Marie in 3:36. Swinging neckbreaker for the win. Torrie and Dawn are not really wrestlers, so to expect anything more than a bad match would be unrealistic. We got that springboard clothesline so there’s that at least? At least this was short. Storyline is still horrid.

Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff meet backstage (where Bischoff was speaking to a still rookie Randy Orton). Steph tells Bischoff good bye, as Vince had given Bischoff 30 days to turn RAW around. Bischoff said he had a bombshell to save his job (which turned out to be Austin). Stephanie said she had a bombshell of her own (which turned out to be Hogan).

Sean O’Haire vignette! I still think he would have worked out if not for Roddy Piper’s involvement in the angle.

World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H© vs. Scott Steiner

Story: Steiner debuted at Survivor Series (as a face no less. Pretty sure that was the opposite of what the Big Poppa Pump character was about) and decided on RAW as his home. A part of the agreement was he gets a World Title shot.

The match actually has a solid start. Hard hitting from Steiner followed by a gorilla press slam. It would get worse though…

I hate Boston Crabs where the guy doesn’t sit on the back. That’s the point Steiner!

Steiner with a belly to belly suplex! He goes for the Recliner but Flair pulls HHH out.

Steiner is breathing HEAVY. He’s already exhausted.

Another belly to belly (kinda) from Steiner.

We get a weird Tombstone reversal sequence which ends with a botched HHH neckbreaker.

Steiner catches HHH coming off the top…for another belly to belly suplex.

Fans begin turning on Steiner….there’s ANOTHER belly to belly.

Another belly to belly. It’s clear Steiner has nothing else. Fans booing.

A sixth belly to belly.

Steiner goes for a double underhook suplex, and Steiner FALLS before the move is finished. Yikes.

HHH gets busted open by the leather part of the World Title.

ANOTHER BELLY TO BELLY.

Steiner doing his push-up taunt is like a NFL defensive lineman celebrating a sack when his team is down 30 points.

HHH tries to get counted out and DQed, but Earl Hebner won’t allow it. Steiner throws in yet another belly to belly while he’s at it.

Scott Steiner wins by DQ in 18:14. HHH finally uses the sledgehammer, forcing the DQ. Post match, Steiner destroys HHH and locks him in the Recliner. Crowd is dead for it. Match was historically bad, and has an argument for being the worst PPV World Title match ever. Scott Steiner was dreadful. There’s a reason he was a midcarder after this (although he did get a HHH rematch at No Way Out).

WWE World Championship
Kurt Angle© vs. Chris Benoit

We covered Angle’s story earlier. We’ll add here that this feud also involved the debut of Team Angle, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, which owned.

Benoit actually turned amidst all this as well, and became the #1 contender after being Big Show on Smackdown. Angle and Benoit were reluctant Smackdown Tag Team Champions back in October, and even had a match at Unforgiven as well. This was the end of Benoit the heel, as this face run would go through the rest of his career.

So, as all Benoit vs. Angle feuds go, it comes down to who’s the better wrestler?

Team Angle gets ejected quickly for trying to hold Benoit back.

Watching this match makes me feel that Steiner and HHH was in slow motion.

Benoit DDTs Angle on the apron! Nice.

Angle’s belly to belly suplexes are about 100 times better than Steiner’s.

This has been a non-stop action packed match from the get go.

Rolling Germans from Benoit…but Angle counters into his own!

Benoit re-counters!

I never got why Benoit did that snot thing.

Angle tosses Benoit off the top rope with a belly to belly!

Angle Slam attempt turns into the Crossface! Crowd is very into it. Angle survives though.

Benoit locks Angle into the Ankle Lock…but Angle reverses into his own Ankle Lock! THAT gets turned into the Crossface!

Angle counters a Crossface with an Angle Slam! Wow!

Another great false finish with Benoit countering a German with a victory roll.

Benoit gets a German…only it turns into an overhead release German where Angle lands face first!

Flying Headbutt 3/4th of the ring away!

Angle drops Benoit face first on the turnbuckles leading to another Angle Slam…but Benoit survives THAT too.

Kurt Angle retains by submission in 19:50. Angle counters another Crossface into the Ankle Lock. Benoit tries to escape, but Angle hangs on. Benoit does an amazing sell job here, screaming in pain. Angle grapevines the leg and Benoit is trapped, and taps out (makes you wonder why Angle didn’t always do that). I was blown away the first time I saw this 12 years ago, but it holds up today as well. Incredible match. This match was the match that showed Benoit could play an incredible underdog babyface, and he rode that all the way to winning the title at Mania XX (well, there was a haphazard team with Rhino in there). Just an amazing match. Benoit gets a standing ovation afterwards.

Kane and Rob Van Dam talk about how it’s every man for himself. This leads to a good spot later.

The Royal Rumble

#1 is Shawn Michaels. Jericho is supposed to be #2, but for some reason Christian shows up in the entrance way. Jericho attacks HBK from behind and beats the holy hell out of him. Jericho lays HBK out with a chair and HBK sells it like a million bucks. Chris Nowinski is #3, but he waits on the outside. Jericho beats on HBK a bit more then dumps him, to the horror of the crowd.

#4 is Rey Mysterio, and he owns Jericho for a bit. Nowinski finally gets in there to attack Rey from behind.

Edge is #5. Edge and Rey had been a team, so they natural work together. They eventually go at it though and there’s a false elimination that I think gets screwed up. I think Edge’s feet do hit the floor. No biggie though.

Christian is #6, for real this time. He tries to get on Edge’s good side to double team Mysterio. Edge spears him though.

Rey and Edge hit a double dropkick off the top to Nowinski, but the timing is off and I think Nowinski got hurt here as Edge’s leg lands on his face.

#7 is Chavo Guerrero. Good workrate early on for sure. Rey gets Nowinski out. Jericho gets out Rey. Great heat for Jericho eliminating HBK and Rey so far.

#8 is Tajiri. Crazy airplane spin on Chavo.

#9 is Bill DeMott. What a random push this was.

#10 is Tommy Dreamer. It’s Hardcore Rumble II! Dreamer accidentally legit cracks Jericho in the eye with a kendo stick, busting him open bad.

Con-garbage can lid-to on Dreamer! He’s gone by Jericho and Christian.

#11 is B2. Too lazy to super script here. He’s injured as John Cena turned on him on Smackdown. He lasts about 30 seconds. Jericho gets rid of Tajiri. Edge gets rid of Chavo. Jericho gets rid of Edge and Christian. Jericho is alone in the ring.

#12 is Rob Van Dam! A great near-elimination is in there, where Jericho barely hangs on.

Matt Strongly Dislikes Mustard. #13 is Matt Hardy! Hardy and Jericho double team RVD. Jericho takes a Five Star Frog Splash!

#14 is Eddie Guerrero. No reaction for Eddie…but boy would that change over the next year.

Eddie with a kinda botched Frog Splash there. Matt turns right on him and hits a Twist of Fate. Just in time for…

Jeff Hardy at #15! The Hardys did not get along at this point.

Shannon Moore tries to push Matt back into the ring with his feet. He then takes a Swanton for Matt! Shannon Moore was a great sidekick.

#16 is Rosey. Out goes the workrate.

#17 is Test. The Testicle marketing was just weird.

#18 is John Cena, and we get a whole rap on his way to the ring. He rhymes explain to ya and Wrestlemania. So there’s that. We get Latrell Sprewell and Mike Tyson references as well.

#19 is Team Angle’s Charlie Haas

RVD gets rid of Jeff when Jeff went to the top rope and RVD shoved him off.

#20 is Rikishi. Apparently he’s been in more Royal Rumbles than anyone else in history at this point. RIkishi’s spinning sell of the clothesline was already pretty good.

#21 is Jamal. Both members of Three Minute Warning are in there.

#22 is Kane. JR mentions no one has come close to Kane’s 11 man elimination record…even though the previous record was 10. He gets rid of Rosey on cue.

#23 is Shelton Benjamin. Both members of Team Angle in there now.

#24 is Booker T. This is the other possible winner I mentioned earlier. There were rumors he would win (which made sense since he eventually got the World Title slot at Mania against HHH), but Lesnar was the “safe choice”. In retrospect you had to do Lesnar for the story. But Booker was the dark horse.

Booker dumps Eddie!

#25 is A-Train. He immediately derails Cena, a precursor to the Tensai-Cena feud nine years later surely.

Shawn Michaels runs in and attacks Jericho, and it’s enough of a distraction for Test to eliminate Jericho. While this set up Jericho vs. HBK…what the hell was Test eliminating Jericho for? Weird choice there.

#26 is Maven. Not much to say here.

#27 is Goldust. It was pretty crazy Goldust actually got a full time run in 2002, but he wouldn’t last that much longer. He’d come back a lot later though. Charlie Haas eliminates him after about 40 seconds.

Team Angle surprisingly eliminates Booker T. Odd choice there too.

#28 is Batista with awesome music. He gets rid of Test and Rikishi.

#29 is Brock Lesnar! Team Angle double teams, but Lesnar sends them both out. Matt Hardy is F5ed onto them as well.

A-Train kills both Batista and Lesnar in one sequence. How weird does that seem now.

#30 is Undertaker. While the crowd pops, this was a pretty big disappointment. There were several promo videos about Taker coming back at the Rumble, but the first one hinted he could be the Deadman, and the second mentioned the Ministry. So there was hope he would be back in the Deadman character here.

Taker is the only man to have three #30 Rumble appearances I believe, ’97, ’03 and ’07.

Taker gets rid of Cena and Jamal. A great spot follows though, as Maven dropkicks Taker and immediately celebrates. Maven shocking eliminated Taker in this manner in 2002. Taker sends Maven out.

RVD, A-Train, Kane, Lesnar, Batista and Taker left. All the workrate didn’t make it.

RVD and Kane work together to get rid of A-Train. Then another great moment: Kane goes to slam RVD on Batista…only to toss RVD out instead! They foreshadowed this in their promo earlier.

Batista, Lesnar, Taker and Kane are your final four. Crazy final four considering what Batista would become later.

Lesnar and Taker almost mess up a hangman, and Taker almost goes over the top rope. Lesnar noticeably saves him.

Interestingly, Taker tombstones Lesnar here, but Lesnar’s head is obviously too high up. It’s interesting because the same thing happens at Wrestlemania XXX.

Taker clotheslines Batista out, then tries to convince Kane to double team Lesnar. Taker turns on Kane immediately (not a big fan of that either) and tosses him. Batista runs in with a chair but Taker takes him out and whacks him with the chair.

Brock Lesnar wins the Royal Rumble in 53:41, last eliminating the Undertaker. Taker says something to Batista, and Lesnar sneaks up behind him and dumps him. Taker shakes his head in disbelief and gives Lesnar props. I am not a big fan of this ending though and this only fueled the idea that HHH and Taker were holding people down (I’ve come to think Taker wasn’t really doing this though). Taker took out Batista twice, outsmarted his brother, and Lesnar could only beat him by a sneak attack? While there are certainly some good moments, the outcome was never in doubt and the Rumble itself, while fine, is mostly forgettable.

It’s rare that a Royal Rumble PPV is known more for the title matches than the Rumble match itself, but that is what happened here. HHH vs. Steiner is remembered for all the wrong reasons. Benoit vs. Angle for all the right ones. Having one of the worst World Title matches and best World Title matches back to back is quite the oddity. Steiner didn’t last too long as a main eventer and was a midcarder by Mania (and wasn’t on the Mania card!). Benoit eventually got to the top. So at least something went right there. The Lesnar win was expected obviously, but the finish was pretty weak. I love Undertaker, but that whole return was pretty weak as well, and there was no need to make everyone look bad there.

I’ll give this show a historical bonus though. Cena Royal Rumble debut. Randy Orton on PPV (his first time maybe? His first PPV match wasn’t until Summerslam I know that). Batista with his first top 4 Rumble finish (in fact, in every Rumble Batista has been in he ended up in the top 4). The Lesnar victory. These were small building blocks to the future.

Final Grade: B