Probably big spoilers here…although I will try not to make it too bad
The lead up to Pixels was a roller coaster. When Patrick Jean made the short film Pixels in 2010, it was downright awesome. Old school video games attacking the world? That’s money waiting to be printed. As a result we have a feature film in 2015 of the same name. When I first saw the trailer for Pixels I was agog. The potential was limitless. If this movie succeeded, and really, the idea sells itself, this could open doors to perhaps distributers looking monetize video game franchises into film. What video game fan doesn’t want to see a Nintendo Cinematic Universe? The trailer even looked awesome. We just needed Pixels to succeed. It just had one obstacle: Adam Sandler.
Now I haven’t completely followed Sandler’s career and the last thing I remember seeing him in was 2006’s Click, which I recall enjoying at the time. But critics and movie goers have had enough of Sandler. More recently, Jack and Jill, starring Sandler, was regarded as one of the worst films of all time (I haven’t seen it). So everyone was over Sandler at this point. As the reviews for Pixels came in (the drop of the roller coaster) I feared the worst. 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critically panned everywhere. Calls for Adam Sandler to retire. Nintendo tweeted that fans should go see Pixels and got tons of negative responses. I felt like I needed to see Pixels, mainly because I’m a video gamer.
Truth be told…Pixels gets a bad rap. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some bad (even awful) stuff here…but there was definitely some good as well.
Let’s talk about Sandler’s Sam Brenner. First question: if you were told an actor had to play an underachieving middle aged electronics installer in a film that doesn’t take itself remotely seriously who would you pick? Sandler right? So at least he fits the part. His shtick is tired for sure. Some of his jokes downright missed. But he does occasionally get a good line in and I don’t think he’s terrible at all. He’s just there. If you’re sick of Sandler at this point you probably hate him here. That’s fine.
Kevin James’ President Will Cooper also isn’t great, pretty much because they went with the stupid president path which just dates the film since George W. Bush hasn’t been in office for seven years. But…I will say that I think they also were making fun of potential Presidential candidate Chris Christie here, which again, is merely okay.
For the most part, Peter Dinklage’s Eddie Plant is played so over the top it’s great. Definitely the best character in the film.
Josh Gad’s Ludlow is very hit or miss. It’s more miss, but he does have his moments.
Michelle Monaghan in reviews was referred as one of the bright spots of the film, but her Violet Van Patten wasn’t anything special.
So let’s get to the plot. Back in 1982 there was an Arcade Game contest to which Plant defeated Brenner in the finals where Donkey Kong was played. It was said that the footage from the tournament would be sent to outer space so that life forms perhaps could see intelligence from Earth. Before you claim how ridiculous that idea is, you find a way for aliens to send video games to attack Earth and let me know how much sense it makes. It should be noted that this entire opening sequence is pretty awesome and captures what playing games in arcades was like. We get to the present time where Brenner is hired to install a TV and PS4 for a kid, and they get into a discussion about games and patterns. For some reason the kid goes into his mother’s personal life, and in one of the weaker moments of the film Sandler and the mother, Van Patten, share a moment drinking in a closet. It doesn’t work at all.
We see the first attack on the Island of Guam…by Galaga. It’s a bit of a shame that Galaga isn’t part of the climax later (I think Galaga and Centipede should have been switched) but it’s still pretty cool. The President makes a call to his Colonel, who we find out is Van Patten, and his best friend who happens to be great at video games, Brenner. While there’s another really weak joke attempt during this sequence, Cooper confirms what he thought…that Galaga attacked Guam. Brenner happens to find Ludlow, who’s a conspiracy nut, and Ludlow shows Brenner old 80s footage that’s doctored with alien voices that warns of the next attack. Cooper ignores this, as he believes the press would further laugh at him. Arkanoid attacks India (there’s a scene during this that I thought was at first stupid…but then I laughed realizing if this actually were to happen someone would probably do this…you’ll have to see for yourself), which is another cool sequence. The video games warn the U.S.: they are down 2-0 and if the Video Games get up 3-0, Earth will be destroyed.
From that point it’s up to Brenner and Ludlow to train the military to learn how to fight any classic arcade game…monster (?). But when the time comes, the military is overwhelmed by Centipede before Brenner and Ludlow take over and win. I was surprised at this, as reviews stated that it made no sense that the characters good at the games would actually do the fighting. But, here, the military tried and couldn’t keep up with the patterns…so I can actually by the idea of the gamers coming in and taking over.
We find out what happened to Eddie Plant and he has some funny and not so funny demands in exchange for his help (funny one: no more taxes). His character would provide an interesting twist later in the film that I won’t spoil here. We move onto the Pac-Man battle, which is a pretty awesome sequence and definitely the high point of the film. It logically doesn’t make sense (because Brenner is good at patterns…but he’s the ghost and Pac-Man has no pattern). Of course eventually we get to the finale, which the trailer pretty much gave away. The Donkey Kong sequence is pretty great too though.
Pixels tells a pretty solid story considering the premise, and all of the video games look absolutely great. Some of the running gags do have a pretty good payoff (Ludlow’s dream love, for example), but some aren’t just bad, they’re terrible. I’ll give this one away but for some reason we have Q*Bert peeing himself after being afraid, which was just unnecessary and not funny at all. Most of the comedy misses, and like in this case, misses badly.
But it’s not an 18% film. Definitely better than that. Maybe it’s a straight nostalgia money grab. But at least it pays respect to the great games involved.
Pros:
+The video game attackers look incredible, and each scene is awesome.
+Peter Dinklage is the only character that’s funny more often than not.
+Some funny gags.
+Story is better than it has any right to be.
+Opening sequence of the film is well done.
Cons:
-Some really unfunny gags.
-Sandler and James’s time has past.
-Love story is uninspiring and clichéd.
-Can’t stress enough about the unfunny stuff.
-An unfortunate waste of a great idea.
We probably aren’t getting the Nintendo Cinematic Universe out of this unfortunately. But I did have a good time watching, and I guess that’s what counts.
Grade: C+