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Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

The Simpsons 1st Season Review

We’re looking to review every single season of the Simpsons…but doing a short review of EVERY single episode. Each episode will get a grade, as will each season. First, a little preview.

Season 1

The Tracey Ullman Show was one of Fox’s earliest programs as it had recently taken off with Married…With Children. The Simpsons was an animated short, or bumper, in-between segments and commercials during the program. With Fox still looking to add content as a fledging network, the Simpsons would get spun-off into its own show. There were production problems early on as some of the animation looked terrible for the intended series opener (which in turn became the season finale, “Some Enchanted Evening”). The series began much later than expected and with a Christmas Special (intended to be the eighth episode in the series).

Episode 1 (1) – Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

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                In a lot of ways this is a classic despite that a lot of peak Simpsons’ traits are absent here. There’s no crazy version of Homer, he wouldn’t really appear for a few more seasons. Instead Homer’s just a normal man trying to make his family happy for Christmas. He’s relatable in that sense. And while that version of Homer isn’t what made the character famous, it does work. We establish a lot of main and side characters here, which is quite impressive for a 23 minute episode. Bart does no less than three things that show he’s the bad boy, a character that carried early Simpsons seasons (those three things are ruining the school play, getting a tattoo and pulling “Santa’s” beard). Lisa has her moment as well when she defends her father against her aunts, using a detailed explanation that clearly seems advanced for an 8 year old. Marge shows to be the kind hearted matriarch of the family, and even gets a good moment herself (where she hides the Christmas money). Flanders, Mr. Burns and Barney also provide a lot in their few moments. Flanders becomes the neighbor that Homer sizes himself up against…and fails miserably in doing so. Mr. Burns says one thing and you already get an idea of the kind of boss he is. And Barney is, well Barney. There’s a lot here and it’s a great episode as a result. It’s just a bit jarring when you know what’s coming in the seasons ahead.

Grade: A

Episode 2 (2) – Bart the Genius

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                We learn a lot about Bart here and get to see him interact in the school environment. It’s pretty amazing that characters like Ms. Krabappel and Martin Prince didn’t really change much at all in regards to their core identities. Same goes for Principal Skinner in some respects, although he would become a much great source of comedy later on. While the strength of the episode lies within Homer being proud of Bart’s discovered intellect, the rest of the characters and episode falls flat a bit. It also isn’t drawn all that well either. There are a few great gags in there though (like Homer giving Bart his tie). There’s nothing really wrong with “Bart the Genius”, but it doesn’t really stand out either.

Grade: B-

Episode 3 (3) – Homer’s Odyssey

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                “Homer’s Odyssey” is the weakest episode so far, although that could be because it was the very first episode written. There are only a few highlights here, mostly centered around Bart and his antics. He provides an entertaining first few minutes and we also get the first prank call to Moe. Once Homer is fired from the Plant, the story takes a nosedive. Homer goes from being depressed and nearly committing suicide to realizing his purpose in life is to make sure Springfield is safe. This all results in Homer getting a new position at the Plant, Nuclear Safety Technician. While it’s funny that Homer (correctly) thinks to himself that he’s grossly underqualified for the position, the whole idea of course is silly in future seasons when we see Homer at work. Nonetheless that can’t be held against the episode as it was the first one written afterall. What can be held against the episode is that Homer’s story isn’t much and the episode suffers for it. On the bright side, we did get the first prank call to Moe from Bart and the first instance of Mr. Burns not knowing who Homer is, both of which would become two long running gags.

Grade: C

Episode 4 (4) – There’s No Disgrace Like Home

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                Another weak episode here, even weaker than “Homer’s Odyssey”. The entire episode is based around Homer feeling that his family is dysfunctional. Homer as the moral center of the family, a position Marge would usually be in, just feels odd and doesn’t work. While there’s a few solid jokes in this one, there’s really not much else. The fact that the family bonds because they are deemed too unfit for Dr. Marvin Monroe pales in comparison to the stories of the first three episodes. It’s also jarring a bit to see Lisa being as much a troublemaker as Bart. On the plus side, Itchy and Scratchy make their debuts here so there’s that.

Grade: D

Episode 5 (5) – Bart the General

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                A truly great episode as it foreshadows what made the Simpsons great. While we start off with another standard family story; Bart defending her sister and getting beaten up by a bully as the result, the conclusion is ridiculously over the top that it’s great. We get introduced to Nelson Muntz, who would become one of the most popular recurring characters. We also get introduced to Herman, who while having a big and entertaining role here isn’t used nearly as much in the future. Grampa Simpson is also here and has some funny moments, although like Homer he isn’t in peak form yet. With that being said everyone gets their moments, and Bart clearly breaks out as a star here. I’m pretty sure every 10 year old felt like and wanted to be like Bart after this one.

Grade: A

Episode 6 (6) – Moaning Lisa

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                Your opinion of this episode will probably be based on whether or not you like the Lisa Simpson character. We learn a lot about Lisa and how much playing the sax means to her. When she meets Bleeding Gums Murphy, a memorable character in his own right, Lisa finally finds someone she can connect with. The result of her arc here has a satisfying conclusion for sure. It’s a bit unfortunate though that the side story involving Bart and Homer steals the episode. Homer and Bart face off in video boxing, which reaches a funny conclusion in itself. We also learn a little bit about Marge and how she was raised. Overall a really good episode with memorable characters…but if you don’t like Lisa you may not like it. There’s a scene with Maggie that made me laugh out loud as well.

Grade: A-

Episode 7 (7) – The Call of the Simpsons

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                Pretty much everything that made the Simpsons great is here. The first third of the episode, where Homer looks to upend Flanders by buying a nice RV than him, is pure gold. The Simpsons getting stuck in the wild perfectly captures all the Simpsons and even gives us a glimpse of the crazy, insane Homer we get in future seasons. Maggie too has some highlights. Everything works in “The Call of the Simpsons”. The last act can’t be forgotten, where Homer is mistaken for Bigfoot! Of course hilarity ensues there too. Best episode so far and again, all the pieces that made the Simpsons such a great show in its first 10 years are here.

Grade: A+

Episode 8 (8) – The Telltale Head

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                This is yet another classic Simpsons episode, as well as another that primarily focuses on Bart. It does employ one of my favorite storytelling devices, a frame story beginning in media res. You see Homer and Bart with the head of the town founder Jebadiah Springfield and an angry mob looking to kill them. How the heck did we get here? Bart tells us what happens and it’s little more than a tale of a young boy succumbing to peer pressure and doing something stupid to fit in and be popular. The episode definitely continued to push Bart as the star of the show, and no doubt kids watching probably related with him (something the first season of the Simpsons has done quite well with Homer and Bart). There are some good moments too, Homer in church is definitely a highlight as well as the tormenting of the poor Sunday School teacher with ridiculous questions about who gets to heaven. We also see some characters for the first time (Apu, Krusty, Jimbo, Kearney, Reverend Lovejoy) which is cool, although we only get anything substantial with the bullies. With that being said for a classic episode it feels a little flat. The tone is closer to “Bart the Genius” than the greatness we got in the last few episodes. I also think the characters highlighted in the mob were a bit odd. I get Mr. Burns would care, but seeing him in this angry mob alongside the Skinner’s and Abe Simpson’s of the world felt off. Good, but not great episode.

Grade: B

Episode 9 (9) – Life on the Fast Lane

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                This is the first time we get an episode that focuses on Marge’s character. Her love for Homer is tested after Homer buys her a selfish birthday gift that he intends to use for himself (a bowling ball engraved with the name “Homer”). She decides to spite him and use it herself. She ends up catching the eye of Jacques, a professional bowler who clearly wants something romantic with Marge. The story is fine, although the actually conclusion seems undeserved from Homer’s perspective and that’s a major gripe from me. Homer doesn’t correct his wrongdoing or anything. He just fears his marriage is falling apart and he doesn’t offer much to fix it. So things working out for them solely works because of Marge’s love for Homer and her family. I suppose that’s great characterization for Marge but it feels so undeserved. Perhaps if there were more scenes with her and Bart and Lisa I’d buy it more. Interestingly the producers spoke about how female fans of the series were frustrated with the conclusion. I can understand why. With that all being said this episode still gets a good mark simply because of its moments and the performance of Albert Brooks as Jacques. The moment Homer unveils his gift for Marge is a great sequence. Marge’s dream about Jacques is visually amazing, especially considering this is still season 1 animation. Jacques is voiced in such an over the top way it’s nothing short of brilliant.

Grade: B+

Episode 10 (10) – Homer’s Night Out

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                There’s not much to this one. Homer gets caught dancing with an exotic belly dancer by Bart’s spy camera and Marge is furious. There’s ultimately a good lesson to be learned here about women not being treated as objects but other than that and a little of Bart’s mischief it’s a forgettable episode. Also, if you’re following each episode as a chronological story (which…it’s probably best not to) it’s really disappointing to see Homer in this spot after Life on the Fast Lane and the choice Marge made. There aren’t many laughs here either. Bart and his spy camera pretty much take up the good scenes and other than that and Carl’s debut (with a much different voice) this episode is just there.

Grade: C

Episode 11 (11) – The Crepes of Wrath

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                “The Crepes of Wrath” is a strange episode that foreshadows some of the over the top plots we’d get in future Simpsons episodes. In order to get rid of him for a few months, Principal Skinner comes up with the idea of sending Bart to France in a foreign exchange program. Homer’s fed up with Bart as well, so he and Skinner are both excited to send him off. The Simpsons get an exchange student in return who seems quite perfect. Bart’s side of the story takes an ugly turn as he’s forced into child labor which paints Bart as a sympathy figure who saves the day in France. Meanwhile it turns out the student the Simpsons got back is a spy for another country. Neither side is particularly entertaining other than Homer not realizing he’s giving a spy tons of blueprints and plans to “an unfriendly country”. Also in Homer’s case, these last three episodes showed a really disappointing turn in Homer’s lack of commitment to his family, especially from what we saw in the first few episodes. There are some high points for sure here though, basically all before the two stories come together. Bart’s prank on Skinner’s mother continued that bad boy image that made Bart a star. And, as we’ll get to in later seasons, slapstick violence on Homer Simpson just seems to be money and we get a little bit of that here. I can’t say I liked this episode though. It gets a little bit of a bonus for what I said about foreshadowing over the top storylines in the future though.

Grade: C+

Episode 12 (12) – Krusty Gets Busted

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                From a theoretical sense this episode probably isn’t considered to be that great. Other than a few moments (the moment Homer sees Krusty in the Kwik E Mart for example) it’s not really an episode played for laughs and the only characters who really get any screen time are Bart, Lisa, Krusty and Sideshow Bob. With that being said who cares! There’s a really good story here and a well done mystery as well. If you were watching it for the first time you can figure out what happened pretty quickly in regards to the crime. Both Krusty and Sideshow Bob are memorable characters right out of the gate and we also establish one of the great rivalries of the Simpsons that’s still being used today: Bart vs. Sideshow Bob.

Grade: A-

Episode 13 (13) – Some Enchanted Evening

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                This was supposed to be the Series Premiere as opposed to the Season Finale and it shows. The first season of the Simpsons really developed as it went on and as a result “Some Enchanted Evening” feels out of place. That’s not to say some things don’t work because they definitely do. Bart and Lisa’s prank calls to Moe are always good for a laugh and Ms. Botz is an entertaining antagonist. Everything else misses though. We already had two episodes focusing on Homer and Marge’s marriage and for the most part those episodes were stronger.

Grade: C

Season Review

                To be honest I found the 1st season of the Simpsons to be stronger than I remembered it. It’s rather impressive that so many characters that appeared in the season stayed true to their original selves. The only real changes you see over time is like to Moe, who really just becomes a more involved character, and others like Carl Carlson who just needed an identity. The template for the Simpsons peak that would take place over the next nine or ten years was set in stone here. You just have to weave through some of the growing pains too.

Grade: B+

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Iron Man 2

Big spoilers here…I mean the film has been out for six years now.

Unfortunately, Iron Man 2 undoes a lot of the good will the Tony Stark character developed in Iron Man 1. That’s probably my best explanation. There’s two stories going on concurrently in Iron Man 2 and they’re both quite weak with little payoffs. Story #1: After developing the Iron Man “weapon”, Tony Stark is forced to testify in Congress about possession of such weapon and whether or not it should be turned over to the American people. The big argument going for Stark is that no one else in the world is even close to developing the technology that powers the Iron Man suit. Of course, someone has (Whiplash). Instead of going toward a direction that focuses on the character who has built the tech, he’s overshadowed by Stark’s rival Justin Hammer and story #2.

Story #2 revolves around Tony Stark dealing with his mortality as the chest piece that powers the Iron Man suit is also killing him. This is the weakest story in the entire MCU, as this makes Stark regress from a maturity standpoint. He becomes reckless and endangers others. While becoming reckless to a point is fine from a character standpoint (justifying the race car part), becoming drunk in the Iron Man suit during a party is embarrassing and disappointing. After seeing what Tony Stark went through and overcame in Iron Man 1, I expect more from Stark. I don’t really care to see a mirror image of who he was before Iron Man 1, but for some reason we see it here.

Worst yet, story #2 comes to lame end as Nick Fury and the Black Widow cure (or help Stark find the cure, same idea) Stark and get him back on track as Iron Man. Overall this story arc led to several embarrassing moments and a less than stellar reason for Fury and Widow to be involved. It all feels forced, although Black Widow definitely has her moments here.

The conclusion to all of this is quite disappointing too, as Tony Stark accepts Col. Rhodes as his partner in what’s basically a throw away scene. They dispatch the drones Ivan Vanko had been working on in relative ease, then dispatch Vanko himself in a couple of minutes afterwards. It’s all a let down.

The biggest shame is that I think the actors do a great job overall with the limited material they are given. It’s probably not Robert Downey’s strongest performance, but it works. Mickey Rourke is pretty much wasted as Whiplash. Don Cheadle is an improvement over Terrence Howard as Rhodey. I really liked Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts here too and her role as someone trying to keep the spiraling Stark in check is a highlight. Sam Rockwell makes the most out of what otherwise would have just been an annoying character in Justin Hammer. Scarlett Johansson doesn’t show much emotion here, but that might have been the intent. I always get a kick out of Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury though. The performances in this film save an otherwise weak film.

Pros:

+Performances from the actors are very good all around and make the most out of poorly drawn characters.

+A really good first half hour or so, it basically goes downhill once Vanko survives a car to the groin.

Cons:

-We went from believing in Tony Stark to being stupid we did so. Getting drunk in the Iron Man suit? Really?

-Whiplash is wasted.

-Avengers tie in is a bit forced.

A huge step back from Iron Man 1, but nothing Marvel couldn’t come back from.

Grade: C

 

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Batman (1989)

Big spoilers here…it has been out for over 25 years afterall.

Tim Burton’s Batman is the prototype characterization of Batman that we see today. After Batman’s popularity had sunk throughout the 1970s, mainly due to the camp version no longer connecting with audiences, several producers (primarily Michael Uslan) looked to restore the dark, serious version of Batman. Many movie studios scoffed at the idea though until Warner Bros. decided to take a chance on it. It still took years to for Warner Bros. to truly believe in a Batman film adaptation project. This mainly happened because of several successful comics depicting Batman as that serious, dark character (The Killing Joke and The Dark Knight Returns for example).

Ultimately this direction worked. While the film isn’t perfect by any means, it set the tone to which DC Comics and Batman especially uses today. Batman has two major positives that outweigh pretty much all of the negatives. For one, it’s visually impressive. Batman looks great, the Joker looks great, the set pieces look pretty cool, especially since the film was made in the 1980s. The film’s dark look also helps the Joker stand out, which is a positive. Lastly, I should point out that the Batmobile is pretty awesome as well.

The other major positive that makes Batman work is that Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne and Batman is very good, and Jack Nicholson is incredible here as the Joker. Had those two performances not worked we may be looking at an entirely different way comic book films are looked at. Nicholson outright steals pretty much every scene he’s in. Most of the memorable scenes in the film involve him. The defacing of the artwork. The parade. “The pen is truly mightier than the sword”. And of course, his first appearance as the Joker.

It’s interesting that Batman v Superman has gotten so much heat for not being fun when this film is pretty much just as depressing. Roger Ebert made this argument that it looked like it was a depressing experience for everyone, even those who made the film. Perhaps Nicholson’s Joker was fun enough that no one cared? Maybe it was what people wanted from the comic book characters in 1989, especially from Batman? I’m not sure, but it definitely worked here.

There’s really not much else that’s to write home about in Batman. Kim Basinger is bland as Vicki Vale (no reaction whatsoever from finding out Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person?). The plot is pretty basic with several changes from the comic book that would infuriate comic book fans today (like Joker being the one to kill Bruce Wayne’s parents).  The only other standout is that the music is great and really sets the dark and gloomy mood.

But none of these negatives really matter. Batman is about two comic book icons (or freaks, as Tim Burton put it) creating one another and then finally having their big fight. It’s about two characters who operate with different levels of freedom: one operates in the shadows while the other opening mocks the city he’s attacking. And both characters are done exceptionally well. That’s what mattered.

Pros:

+Jack Nicholson as the Joker is amazing.

+Michael Keaton also works well as Bruce Wayne and Batman.

+Great change of the darker version of Batman that served the prototype for many future comic book films.

+Visuals are pretty good.

Cons:

-Outside of Keaton and Nicholson no one stands out whatsoever and Kim Basinger falls flat.

-Nothing special about the plot.

One of the most influential films in history that inspired some of the biggest comic book blockbusters in history. And it even holds up thanks to the performances of the main characters.

Grade: A

 

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews ECW Guilty as Charged ’99

Guilty as Charged ‘99
January 10, 1999
Kissimmee, FL

There are two last hopes for ECW at this point: Taz and Rob Van Dam.

Guilty as Charged ’99 is Taz’s shot at the top title. After teasing this title match for about 18 months (back when Taz beat Douglas for the TV title in 1997) we’re finally getting the payoff.

There’s not much else to say. As I’ve written for two PPVs in a row there’s nothing special about ECW anymore. It doesn’t have the best storylines, the best angles and definitely not the best matches. The best hardcore matches are in the WWF with Stone Coldand Mankind. The best wrestling is in WCW with the Cruisers, Benoit, Malenko and Guerrero.

But that’s no excuse for ECW. All they have to do is put on consistently good shows. November to Remember was really bad and there was no reason for it. ECW has shown me two good PPVs since they began running PPVs. Otherwise it’s been mediocre to really bad. 1999 could be the year ECW comes together if Paul Heyman plays his cards right and busts out some decent shows. He definitely has the talent to do so, even if some of them are leaving (like Bam Bam Bigelow).

The Card

Paul Heyman tells us right at the outset that Masato Tanaka is not coming in as previously advertised and Jerry Lynn is still injured. I do like that he does this, but I mean people already bought the show, no?

The FBI vs. Danny Doring and Roadkill

The FBI has Big Sal and Big Guido at this point.

While the FBI matches usually aren’t good, I do get a good kick out of Tracy Smothers and Little Guido doing the FBI gimmick.

A random guy in the crowd busts out a camera and Danny Doring poses for him on cue. I’m a bit of a Doring fan and wished he and Roadkill had an ECW ’06 run.

For some reason the Chair Swingin’ Freaks, Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten, come out mid Doring strut and this turns into a Three Way Dance.

Axl Rotten calls this match in the ring a homosexual dance party. Gay jokes were par for the course in 1999 as the crowd erupts.

Guido impales himself on the guardrail when he misses a dive. Match really picked up when Rotten and Mahoney came in.

Joey Styles says Axl Rotten is the most underrated wrestler in professional wrestling. Hyperbole Joey. Hyperbole.

Mahoney flies off the top rope into a crowd of wrestlers. Didn’t expect that there and it got a great reaction.

“You love sheep!” Quite the chant towards Roadkill there.

Doring with a front Russian Legsweep. Probably the best one I’ve seen. A hell of a lot better than Jeff Jarrett’s.

Double Fisherman’s Suplex by the FBI takes out Doring. Nice move.

Sick belly to back suplex by Mahoney on Guido! Really liking this.

The Chair Swingin’ Freaks win by double pin in 10:43. Nutcraker Suite and Aerial Skullcrusher gets the win. Really fun brawl here and a good start to the show. Axl and Mahoney take out Big Guido and Big Sal too.

Yikes, we’re still doing this Terry Funk heel deal on Tommy Dreamer. Promo is interesting at least, about a jackass kicking his dad in the nuts and the dad got revenge. Funk’s upset that Tommy picked Jake Roberts at November to Remember as his mystery partner. I don’t remember a match to conclude this though.

Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

This was when Tajiri was sane, had no beard and didn’t wear the Great Muta pants.

Joey Styles points out that Crazy wrestled in the WWF before…but doesn’t mention the same for Tajiri (who wrestled there a little bit in 1997 as well).

Fast paced start that leads to a Tornado DDT from Crazy!

Tajiri works on the knees with his kicks. Great psychology here as the idea is if Crazy’s knees are out, he can’t fly around. And Joey Styles says this too. It’s nice when the announcer’s tell the story of the match.

Tajiri’s Asai Moonsault has always been awesome.

Super Crazy just shows total disregard for his body and hits a suicide somersault plancha to the outside. He follows that with a moonsault off the guardrail. Everything is crisp from both men.

Great surfboard into a dragon sleeper spot from Crazy!

Corkscrew tope from Crazy. Great high flying spots everywhere in this one.

Sky Twister Press misses from Crazy! Wow!

Tajiri wins by pin in 11:37. Dragon Suplex gets the win. Spotfests can be awesome and this was a prime example of that. Sure the psychology early on was forgotten, but who really cares here. Really fun and really good. If ECW just got some more talent they could have rivaled WCW’s Cruiserweight Division. Unfortunately we’d just get these two and Little Guido for the next few years…although Tajiri’s gimmick change would get a short main event run in the summer.

John Kronus comes out. Judge Jeff Jones comes out (the judge deal is a new gimmick) and he’s here to get revenge on Kronus. Jeff Jones was a referee that Kronus beat up. Admittedly, this is a cool payoff early on to this.

John Kronus vs. Sid Vicious

Sid is a pretty good surprise here, a hell of a lot better than Mabel two months ago.

Two seconds in and Sid chokeslams Kronus over the top rope through a table.

Sid pins Kronus in 1:31. Some chair shots and a Powerbomb wins it for Sid. Bringing in Sid as an ass kicker who chokeslams and powerbombs people would be awesome. Leave it to Heyman to book Sid better than the WWF and WCW did and would. Of course, as soon as one of the Big Two saw that Sid had something in the tank he didn’t stay in ECW much longer. He was in WCW by the summer.

By the way, ECW fans would spend all their time mocking the Sids and Hogan’s of the world, but Sid shows up in an ECW ring and he gets one of the biggest reactions in the history of the promotion. Can’t help but laugh at that one.

We see what happened at November to Remember ’98. I don’t like that they are already building up Sabu as a title contender even though we haven’t done Douglas vs. Taz yet. Apparently Taz broke Sabu’s neck as revenge for stealing the pin on Douglas at November to Remember. Then Taz let Sabu pin him to win the FTW Title, making the point that he only wants the ECW World Championship at this point.

The Dudley Boyz have made an “unscheduled” appearance. Open challenge is made. Of course, New Jack answers.

The Dudley Boyz vs. New Jack and Spike Dudley

When I was younger I enjoyed these New Jack brawls, but looking at them now this has to be the worst aged thing in the entire promotion. It’s just New Jack and Spike hitting the Dudleys with random weapons and that’s it. There’s nothing of substance in these things.

Bubba throws Spike into the crowd and Spike bodysurfs for a little bit. This is always a cool spot, although it was cooler when Bam Bam did it to Spike.

Bubba throws Spike into the crowd again. Aren’t ECW quite lucky fans never got hurt in these spots?

Joey had to throw in some dick jokes for Big Dick Dudley.

3D on the ramp is totally botched. New Jack’s whole torso landed on Bubba.

The Dudley Boyz pin Spike in 10:01. 3D for the win. A really messy brawl that was a lot less fun than the opener. Not much else to say about this…but New Jack would be attacking the Dudleys all the way through the end of the Dudleys tenure in ECW. Dudleys beat the hell out of New Jack at the end.

Joey Styles tells us we’ll get a replacement for Masato Tanaka in the upcoming ECW TV Title match. We get some RVD highlights to hype us up for that.

ECW TV Championship
Rob Van Dam© vs. Lance Storm

Storm gets some mic time first. Still a bit wooden, but not too bad at all.

Storm says he’s not the whole F’N show, just the best damn part of it. I like that line.

RVD goes for a springboard moonsault, but Storm dropkicks him off the top rope and he goes flying into the guardrail.

Unfortunately, the crowd is more interested in chanting things at Tammy Lynn Bytch.

As RVD crawls back to the ring after getting hit with a reverse DDT on the floor, he has a whole conversation with the camera/crowd. It’s perfect for the RVD character too.

Second surfboard of the night!

Referee eats a Van Daminator!

Storm hits a superkick into the chair into RVD’s face…but the ref is out afterall…

Rob Van Dam pins Lance Storm in 18:50. Great wrestling sequence ends with RVD hitting a bridging German Suplex for the win. I really like that being the finish as sometimes it’s pretty cool to see something that’s merely a good move and not a finisher end the match (you never see this today). While it was a bit sloppy, I enjoyed this for the most part. Great athleticism from both guys and I really liked how cocky RVD was in this one too.

Stairway to Hell Match
Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible

I’m sorry but Nicole Bass doesn’t need to be here. What was the point? The WWF didn’t learn from this either.

Some back and forth brawling with some spots using the ladder. Nothing great but nothing bad either.

Nice flip from Justin Credible after hitting the ladder. Say what you want about Credible, but he did try.

Jazz, who I think is making her debut here, actually suplexes Dreamer.

Justin uses a ladder to dump Dreamer through a table, which I find to be a creative if not unnecessary spot.

Dreamer hits a Diamond Cutter off the middle of the ladders. While the first half of this was merely okay, this did pick up.

Justin Credible pins Tommy Dreamer in 18:45. Ok, this finish sucks and ruins the entire point of the match. Dreamer gets the Singapore Cane and hits Credible with a DDT. After he fails to tie Credible up in the ropes, he goes to hit Credible with the Cane for the big finish. Only Terry Funk shows up and nails Dreamer in the head with a garbage can. Credible hits Dreamer once with the cane then hits That’s Incredible for the win. Despite the whole point of the match being getting the cane (which is a lame weapon here even if it fits the story. At least Sandman-Sabu got barbed wire in theirs), the guy who gets it never uses it and the weapon itself is used once. While the match did pick up, I wouldn’t call it good or anything. This was merely okay and a bit long with a bullshit finish. Funk beats down Dreamer for good measure. I did not like this Terry Funk heel turn…and once again I don’t think this ever paid off with a match either.

Quick Taz promo that’s nothing new (Beat Me if you can…). Douglas has a promo too where he randomly calls out Sid and tells him its easier up north or down south to win the World Title…then botches the Immoveable object vs. irresistible force line (he says indestructible force). Not the best promo from either man.

ECW World Championship
Shane Douglas© vs. Taz

This had a real big match feel to it. This really was about 16, 17 months in the making.

Early on Taz hits a belly to belly and Douglas rolls to the outside. For some reason, the ref starts a count like he’s going to count Douglas out. I’m sure that was going to be the ECW PPV main event finish.

They fight all over the arena now, but to be fair that’s pretty boring. This whole thing has been pretty boring so far.

We get our first exciting moment where Taz hits an overhead belly to belly over a railing onto a platform. Other than that, this has been awful so far.

Taz finally gets a Taz-plex through a table in the ring. After the two count we get Sabu’s music. Sabu runs n and takes out both guys.

Sabu botches his springboard dive to the outside and turns it into a moonsault…but he only gets Taz and Douglas sells it anyway.

Sabu drives Douglas through a table!

Taz is next as Sabu drives him through a table too!

Douglas calls for the Triple Threat…even though the group had been disbanded as Bam Bam Bigelow left the company. Chris Candido and Tammy Lynn Sytch show up though and Tammy and Francine have a cat fight in the middle of this World Title match. Candido turns on Douglas as well, knocking him down with a punch.

Taz wins the title when Douglas passed out in 22:15. With Douglas calling out to Candido, Taz locks in the Taz-mission and Douglas passes out. This was absolutely terrible and an embarrassing main event. The most action packed part of the match involved Sabu. The crowd segment was boring and took up nearly half the match. We had a silly run in with Tammy and Candido. Taz didn’t even get a good win as Douglas had been beaten up by both Sabu and Candido. Absolutely terrible. Why couldn’t this just have been Taz beating the crap out of Douglas for 10 minutes? Why all the stupid stuff? The focus was barely on Taz!

The show wasn’t too bad overall, but an atrocious main event ruined that. Shane Douglas had been quite a letdown as champion in big match main events, citing back to the match with Al Snow and the six man back in November. The world title main events would get better throughout 1999 for sure.

I’ll give some credit for the solid undercard. But ECW still showed to be in a lot of trouble

Final Grade: C

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RDT Reviews Shaun the Sheep: The Movie

I can keep this one mostly spoiler free.

Shaun the Sheep the Movie is a delightful film that hits its main goal, which is to be cute and entertaining. It doesn’t hold back, looking to make the audience laugh at every opportunity and succeeding in that respect. Shaun the Sheep the Movie is a silent film and as a result the visuals tell the story. The film succeeds in this respect as well.

All of the visuals in the film really hit their marks. Each character, from the random people in the city to every animal in the farm is memorable because of how they are portrayed on screen. Every moment on screen has value. This helps the main characters as well. Each main character, from Shaun to Bitzer to even the human main characters all are represented strongly based on how they act. You understand each character’s motivations.

In what works and works against the film is that Shaun the Sheep is quite simple. There’s not much of a lesson to be learned or moral. On one hand that’s good to have a simple movie. On the other, Shaun the Sheep doesn’t have much long term value.

Pros:

+Innocent and fun.

+Great visuals.

+Fun characters.

+Quite funny overall.

Cons:

-Very simple film.

-Some unnecessary music tracks in what was otherwise a really good silent film.

Grade: B+

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Big spoilers here. Of course, any prequel discussion invites comparison to the originals.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace had expectations that were just impossible to meet. The first Star Wars film in sixteen years has the challenge of bringing in new fans as well as satisfying those who were loyal to the brand (which isn’t much different than the upcoming The Force Awakens). Unfortunately, the Phantom Menace disappointed pretty much all of the Star Wars loyalists, and really it’s a shame because this film is brilliant.

Our story places Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn and a young Obi-Wan Kenobi in the middle of a dispute between the Trade Federation and the planet Naboo. It turns out the Trade Federation is dealing with Darth Sideous and is about to start a war to occupy Naboo. Queen Amidala escapes the Federation invasion with the two Jedi and they end up traveling to Corusant in order to plead their case to the Republic. On the way they pick up a very young Anakin Skywalker during a stop at Tatooine, a planet chosen because it was hidden from the Federation and their ship needed help. Palpatine…who anyone who saw the originals know is Sidious, is causing all kinds of chaos in the Galactic Senate in order to gain power for himself. He uses the Naboo-Federation dispute to his advantage…but seems surprised when Amidala wants to return to Naboo to fight. Ultimately, our protagonists  come out victorious in Naboo, although victory comes at a price as Qui-Gonn is killed by Sidious’ apprentice Darth Maul. The Phantom Menace introduces a ton of characters at viewers to establish a story that would lead us to A New Hope. It mostly does a good job.

Let’s talk about the worst part of this film. Jar Jar Binks. Binks is a character that Qui-Gon and Ob-Wan run into early, and Jar Jar joins them on their adventure. He’s annoying and clearly there for the kids. He’s a terrible character overall, and while the film would do best without him (which is what The Phantom Edit did), he doesn’t ov’rshadow the rest of the film. Liam Neeson’s Qui-Gon does a great job often playing the straight man in any “comedy” Jar Jar is a part of, and he’s pretty great at it. It’s almost as if Neeson knew how ridiculous the Jar Jar character was and decided to make it look bad at every opportunity. Somehow, it works.

The other part old school fans didn’t like was child Anakin. I really don’t understand this one. I thought Jake Lloyd  did a great job showing just how innocent Anakin once was, which in turn really puts over just how strong the Darkside of the Force really is.

As a character, Palpatine is awesome. He’s just so evil and the way he manipulates everything and everyone provides a brilliant character arc. Obi-Wan Kenobi is pretty good here too. I don’t care for Amidala or Padme, and to be honest Natalie Portman seemed pretty bland here, but it could have been a lot worse.

Something that seems to never come up when someone talks about The Phantom Menace is just how much emotion is in this film. First off, Anakin loses not only his mother, but a father figure in Qui-Gon as well all in a short period of time. The scene where he leaves his mother is one of the strongest in the entire saga. Obi-Wan Kenobi loses his mentor as well. There’s a lot our main characters have to go through. It’s a shame that in future installments we don’t really hear about what Qui-Gon meant to Anakin.

I also liked the Gungans and how they helped the Naboo. One of my biggest problems with the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi is that they pretty much own “the empire’s best troops”. Here, the Gungans know they’re getting slaughtered and that their role is to just kill time. It’s a very smart decision that helps the end of the film. Speaking of the end of the film, the Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon vs. Darth Maul lightsaber battle is incredible. There has to be some extra credit as this was the first lightsaber scene since Return of the Jedi, and really, it puts all of those lightsaber battles to shame. Darth Maul’s appearance and the double lightsaber reveal is also one of the best moments in the saga.

I didn’t even get to pod racing and how fun and awesome that is. Shame that didn’t get brought back in later installments either.

Pros:

+A lot of emotion that really sets up our main characters in the future.

+Some great moments (Anakin leaves his mother, Darth Maul reveal).

+A lot of awesome characters here. Palpatine and Qui-Gon are especially strong characters. Darth Maul is just cool.

+Appearances from some of our older characters, like C3PO and R2D2 are very fun.

+Music and visuals are both top notch, although the visuals do look dated now.

Cons:

-Jar Jar Binks is pretty bad.

-Some characters are boring, like Padme.

The Phantom Menace may have not been what fans expected, but it shouldn’t have taken them away from what turned out to be a great start to the prequel trilogy. Unfortunately, it did.

Grade: A-

 

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RDT Reviews Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Big spoilers here…are you even reading this if you haven’t seen the film. Also, all Star Wars films have to invite comparison to the prequels…because inevitably any discussion of the Star Wars films invites such comparisons.

For years I thought this might have been the weakest Star Wars film of them all. Watching it again though, Return of the Jedi finally gives us the hero we’ve been waiting for in regards to Luke Skywalker and the result is a satisfying conclusion to the original Star Wars trilogy.

We start off right where we left off in Empire Strikes Back, with Luke, Leia, Chewy, Lando, R2 and 3PO heading to Tatooine to save Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt. Return of the Jedi is practically a two part act, with this being the first act. It’s quite an effective act as it establishes that this is now the established, prepared and most importantly confident Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker (despite what Yoda says later) who is ready to take down the Empire. Luke makes pretty quick work of the Hutts (random awesome point, it was cool to see Leia find an opening and take down Jabba herself instead of being rescued). It’s exciting to see Luke as the confident hero as in the previous two installments I wasn’t completely buying it (similar to the popular opinion about Anakin Skywalker becoming Vader in the prequels actually). Here, I buy it. There’s no whining or anything. It is as if the battle and loss to Vader hardened him. I don’t completely buy the path of how he got to this point, but now that he’s here it’s great to see. We tie another loose end as Luke visits Yoda, and Yoda confirms what Vader told Luke about being his father. Overall this is a brilliant first act that I just completely overlooked years ago watching this film.

I do think the film goes slightly downhill the rest of the way. The story is that the Emperor has coming to oversee the creation of the 2nd Death Star. He tells Vader, who unfortunately has been neutered as an amazing bad ass villain here that only together can they convert Luke to the dark side. The Rebels meanwhile have received information about the Death Star that gives them one last shot to destroy the Empire once and for all. Little do they know the Emperor is setting a trap to end the Rebellion once and for all. The second half here breaks up into two parts: Luke’s confrontation with the Emperor and Vader, and the battle on Endor. Before this we get the revelation that Luke and Leia are brother and sister, one of the weakest plot points in the entire saga and something that takes away from Luke a bit. In fact, pretty much everything that happens on Endor is weak and underwhelming (other than “god” C3PO. That was hilarious). The Ewoks taking out the Empire’s best troops takes a huge suspension of disbelief to get behind and I can’t do it, even if the Ewoks are supposed to be warriors. Just compare this conclusion to A New Hope’s and you’ll realize the seriousness is just gone.

But Vader and Luke’s confrontation? It’s great. While yes it is disappointing that Vader isn’t the monster he was in Empire, it is at least understandable here. He’s about to do a face turn (turning into a good guy) and the focus of evil needs to be on the Emperor. Since the Emperor is awesome himself, this is still perfectly fine. We finally get that emotion from Luke Skywalker I’ve waiting three films for when Vader threatens to convert his sister to the Dark Side. While I never once believed that Luke was going to turn, the entire sequence is well done.

There’s a lot of good in Return of the Jedi. It was a lot better than I remembered and tied up a lot of the loose ends from the first two films.

Pros:

+Luke Skywalker finally comes into his own and becomes the hero this franchise was sorely missing.

+A fitting conclusion to the saga. The story tied up quite nicely.

+The Emperor is awesome.

+”God” C3PO is awesome.

Cons:

-While the Emperor is awesome, it was disappointing to see Vader as basically a sidekick.

-95% of what happens on Endor is disappointing and underwhelming.

-Ewoks are terrible.

-The Luke-Leia brother-sister relationship was forced and put a value on the love for one another. I’d be more interested in Vader threatening to turn Luke’s friends to the Darkside as opposed to forcing a sibling narrative.

Overall, very good.

Grade: B+

 

Other (DC, Marvel, Disney etc.)

RDT Reviews Pixels (2015)

Probably big spoilers here…although I will try not to make it too bad

The lead up to Pixels was a roller coaster. When Patrick Jean made the short film Pixels in 2010, it was downright awesome. Old school video games attacking the world? That’s money waiting to be printed. As a result we have a feature film in 2015 of the same name. When I first saw the trailer for Pixels I was agog. The potential was limitless. If this movie succeeded, and really, the idea sells itself, this could open doors to perhaps distributers looking monetize video game franchises into film. What video game fan doesn’t want to see a Nintendo Cinematic Universe? The trailer even looked awesome. We just needed Pixels to succeed. It just had one obstacle: Adam Sandler.

Now I haven’t completely followed Sandler’s career and the last thing I remember seeing him in was 2006’s Click, which I recall enjoying at the time. But critics and movie goers have had enough of Sandler. More recently, Jack and Jill, starring Sandler, was regarded as one of the worst films of all time (I haven’t seen it). So everyone was over Sandler at this point. As the reviews for Pixels came in (the drop of the roller coaster) I feared the worst. 18% on Rotten Tomatoes.  Critically panned everywhere. Calls for Adam Sandler to retire. Nintendo tweeted that fans should go see Pixels and got tons of negative responses. I felt like I needed to see Pixels, mainly because I’m a video gamer.

Truth be told…Pixels gets a bad rap. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some bad (even awful) stuff here…but there was definitely some good as well.

Let’s talk about Sandler’s Sam Brenner. First question: if you were told an actor had to play an underachieving middle aged electronics installer in a film that doesn’t take itself remotely seriously who would you pick? Sandler right? So at least he fits the part. His shtick is tired for sure. Some of his jokes downright missed. But he does occasionally get a good line in and I don’t think he’s terrible at all. He’s just there. If you’re sick of Sandler at this point you probably hate him here. That’s fine.

Kevin James’ President Will Cooper also isn’t great, pretty much because they went with the stupid president path which just dates the film since George W. Bush hasn’t been in office for seven years. But…I will say that I think they also were making fun of potential Presidential candidate Chris Christie here, which again, is merely okay.

For the most part, Peter Dinklage’s Eddie Plant is played so over the top it’s great. Definitely the best character in the film.

Josh Gad’s Ludlow is very hit or miss. It’s more miss, but he does have his moments.

Michelle Monaghan in reviews was referred as one of the bright spots of the film, but her Violet Van Patten wasn’t anything special.

So let’s get to the plot. Back in 1982 there was an Arcade Game contest to which Plant defeated Brenner in the finals where Donkey Kong was played. It was said that the footage from the tournament would be sent to outer space so that life forms perhaps could see intelligence from Earth. Before you claim how ridiculous that idea is, you find a way for aliens to send video games to attack Earth and let me know how much sense it makes. It should be noted that this entire opening sequence is pretty awesome and captures what playing games in arcades was like. We get to the present time where Brenner is hired to install a TV and PS4 for a kid, and they get into a discussion about games and patterns. For some reason the kid goes into his mother’s personal life, and in one of the weaker moments of the film Sandler and the mother, Van Patten, share a moment drinking in a closet. It doesn’t work at all.

We see the first attack on the Island of Guam…by Galaga. It’s a bit of a shame that Galaga isn’t part of the climax later (I think Galaga and Centipede should have been switched) but it’s still pretty cool. The President makes a call to his Colonel, who we find out is Van Patten, and his best friend who happens to be great at video games, Brenner. While there’s another really weak joke attempt during this sequence, Cooper confirms what he thought…that Galaga attacked Guam. Brenner happens to find Ludlow, who’s a conspiracy nut, and Ludlow shows Brenner old 80s footage that’s doctored with alien voices that warns of the next attack. Cooper ignores this, as he believes the press would further laugh at him. Arkanoid attacks India (there’s a scene during this that I thought was at first stupid…but then I laughed realizing if this actually were to happen someone would probably do this…you’ll have to see for yourself), which is another cool sequence. The video games warn the U.S.: they are down 2-0 and if the Video Games get up 3-0, Earth will be destroyed.

From that point it’s up to Brenner and Ludlow to train the military to learn how to fight any classic arcade game…monster (?). But when the time comes, the military is overwhelmed by Centipede before Brenner and Ludlow take over and win. I was surprised at this, as reviews stated that it made no sense that the characters good at the games would actually do the fighting. But, here, the military tried and couldn’t keep up with the patterns…so I can actually by the idea of the gamers coming in and taking over.

We find out what happened to Eddie Plant and he has some funny and not so funny demands in exchange for his help (funny one: no more taxes). His character would provide an interesting twist later in the film that I won’t spoil here. We move onto the Pac-Man battle, which is a pretty awesome sequence and definitely the high point of the film. It logically doesn’t make sense (because Brenner is good at patterns…but he’s the ghost and Pac-Man has no pattern). Of course eventually we get to the finale, which the trailer pretty much gave away. The Donkey Kong sequence is pretty great too though.

Pixels tells a pretty solid story considering the premise, and all of the video games look absolutely great. Some of the running gags do have a pretty good payoff (Ludlow’s dream love, for example), but some aren’t just bad, they’re terrible. I’ll give this one away but for some reason we have Q*Bert peeing himself after being afraid, which was just unnecessary and not funny at all. Most of the comedy misses, and like in this case, misses badly.

But it’s not an 18% film. Definitely better than that. Maybe it’s a straight nostalgia money grab. But at least it pays respect to the great games involved.

 

Pros:

+The video game attackers look incredible, and each scene is awesome.

+Peter Dinklage is the only character that’s funny more often than not.

+Some funny gags.

+Story is better than it has any right to be.

+Opening sequence of the film is well done.

Cons:

-Some really unfunny gags.

-Sandler and James’s time has past.

-Love story is uninspiring and clichéd.

-Can’t stress enough about the unfunny stuff.

-An unfortunate waste of a great idea.

We probably aren’t getting the Nintendo Cinematic Universe out of this unfortunately. But I did have a good time watching, and I guess that’s what counts.

Grade: C+