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Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Money In the Bank 2011

Money_in_the_Bank_(2011)

WWE Money in the Bank 2011
July 17, 2011
Chicago, IL
Reviewed on March 8, 2014

Background: Ever since WCW went bankrupt, American Professional wrestlers didn’t have a whole lot of leverage anymore. There was no real competition. Sure, there was TNA, but a few notable wrestlers…only one who was a sure fire main eventer at the time (and one WWE legend)…ever went there. (Kurt Angle is the main eventer…even though Jeff Hardy, Mick Foley is the legend). Other guys had other non-wrestling ventures they could look at, but usually, they came back (Big Show, Chris Jericho, Batista). In terms of North American pro wrestling, the top is WWE. The money is in WWE. The stardom is in WWE.

The case of Kurt Angle actually showed that Vince McMahon could have all the leverage. Angle…fresh off of main eventing Wrestlemania, went to TNA and ratings hardly moved. Vince had went from a system of having one or two top guys (The Hogan Era, the Austin-Rock Era) to many big guys with only one that was at the very top (an argument Vince used with Hulk Hogan regarding Hogan’s Summerslam 06 payoff). I believe this actually dilutes the product, but that’s another discussion for another time.

Creatively though, WWE had really hit a down point after a solid 2010. That glass ceiling that’s existed for years and years in WWE seemed to be in clear view of the fans. In 2010 guys like Sheamus, Wade Barrett, the Miz and Daniel Bryan were coming on strong. In 2009, the same could be said about CM Punk. All of these guys here had been something ranging from kinda buried to buried. Sheamus went from bad ass heel champion killing Triple H to joke King of the Ring to actually outright missing the Wrestlemania card in favor of a Rock promo. He only recovered in early 2012…only to get buried because of his stupid 18 second World Title win at Mania 28. Barrett was the leader of one of the most creative angles WWE had done in a while in the Nexus. John Cena squashed him and the Nexus at TLC 2010, and Barrett has never reached that level again. The Miz was the WWE World Champion coming into 2011. Maybe he was somewhat average in the ring, but his character was just pure heel heat. Cena buried him at Over the Limit 2011 in one of the worst booked I Quit Matches I can remember (it’s not that Cena won…it was how)…and then losing to Alex Riley. Bryan hadn’t really been buried, but he also missed the Mania card and seemed to just be in that jobber to stars role after a really hot 2010.

That brings us to CM Punk. WWE was still trying to make new stars, but some were not catching on or not quite ready (John Morrison, R-Truth for the former, Alberto Del Rio for the latter.) There was something different with Punk though. The fans were connecting to him. For whatever reason, WWE wasn’t listening. He eventually got a world title shot for MITB though, which was the day his contract expired. Punk delivered a famous worked-shoot promo which ushered in the reality era for WWE. Punk was supposed to be the heel, but there was not a chance in hell that was happening, especially with the PPV in Chicago. The hype was tremendous. It was the most non-Mania anticipated PPV since One Night Stand 2005. Vince got involved in the storyline. It felt real. Someone was so good, they finally had some leverage.

Some other stories for this show: Mark Henry was actually becoming a bad ass. Christian had won his first World Title and lost it to Randy Orton two days later (which was absolutely awful in a lot of ways), leading to a heel turn for Christian.

The Card

They use that awful Donald Trump theme song for the PPV. At least it has to do with the theme.

Smackdown Money in the Bank
Sheamus vs. Heath Slater vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Sin Cara vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

If I remember correctly, the smart money here was on Wade Barrett. I wonder in retrospect if that was just hope though. To be fair, he wasn’t the obvious favorite, as Sheamus and Bryan def could have won.

Cody was still doing the broken face gimmick…which is what eventually made me a fan.

There are still some remnants of the Corre vs. Nexus storyline…which we see here with Gabriel and Slater. This would be the last time we see anything resembling the Nexus though.

Bryan with a perfect top rope dropkick to knock Rhodes off the ladder. This is going to be good.

Various wrestlers doing over the top and through the rope dives…with Sin Cara finishing with his sky high plancha on Sheamus. This is fun so far and they’ve barely used the ladder!

Forgot Sin Cara had the top rope C4 in his arsenal! This has to be Sin Cara’s peak here.

Powerbomb from Sheamus off the apron through a ladder. Poor Sin Cara. I believe this was used as a storyline to injure him as he had a Wellness Violation. Brutal spot though. Sin Cara was stealing the show before that powerbomb.

Actually it looks like both Gabriel and Slater were members of the Corre. Tells you what I remember.

Cole is still anti-Bryan.

Kane and Sheamus go LOD on Bryan. Nice spot, especially when you remember LOD is from Chicago.

Fans behind Daniel Bryan. When wasn’t he over?

Slater with a nice neckbreaker off the ladder to Bryan.

Sheamus and Barrett use the ladder as a fork and Health Slater’s the meat! They somewhat botch it as they dump him into Kane…but it was cool nonetheless.

Kane chokeslams Sheamus off a ladder into a ladder that was propped on the bottom rope. Ouch!

Rhodes uses a ladder for a Disaster Kick!

450 from Gabriel on a ladder bridge on the top rope…and he nails Kane! Very impressively done!

Daniel Bryan wins in 24:27. Bryan and Rhodes fight on the top of the ladder with Bryan locking him in a front choke. Barrett tries to sneak behind and grab the title, but Bryan sees him and tries to elbow him off. Barrett teases a Wasteland on that propped ladder, but Bryan escapes and kicks Barrett in the head, knocking him off. Bryan grabs the title. By the way, the original Flight of the Valkyries being played for the Money in the Bank winner is pretty awesome. Anyway, match is fantastic. Creative. Only dull point was actually when Cara went out, as fans thought he was really hurt and he was winning over the crowd. Bryan got a good pop when he won as well.

Vince McMahon and John Laurinaitis here. Still trying to sign CM Punk.

Diva’s Championship
Kelly Kelly© vs. Brie Bella

Kelly went for a flying headscissors…but didn’t quite scissor the head.

Story here is apparently Kelly Kelly is mad that the Bellas said her Maxim shoot was airbrushed. It probably was.

Kelly Kelly does that leg stand choke that Candace Michelle did at Wrestlemania 22…and Brie counters by escaping and shoving Kelly…who falls face first on the floor! Ouch.

Brie with a leg wrap around waistelock. Not bad.

I don’t remember Brie being a good wrestler. Has this always been the case?

Brie screws up on the bulldog as she drops too early.

Bellas are much better heels than faces.

Kelly Kelly retains by pin at 4:46. Kelly hits a Rocker Dropper (the K2 or K Squared maybe?) for the win. Nikki complains that Kelly doesn’t even eat. Wasn’t there a bullying campaign being touted by WWE at this time? Anyway, pretty solid Women’s Match overall. We’re 2 for 2.

Best of Nitro DVD!

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

If you threw this match out there in 1999, it would have been absolutely horrible.

In 2008 Mark Henry went from looking like an actor playing a scary motherfucker to looking like a scary motherfucker. Why WWE wasted that in 2009-2010 I don’t know…but Henry now is full blown bad ass, and you see the difference everywhere.

Big Show with a flying shoulder tackle!

Love the selling of each other’s strength here. Show shoves Henry into the stairs and Henry actually sells by flying over them. Great.

Henry works on the knee…apparently Show was coming off a knee injury.

Half-Crab! This match is at a faster pace than I ever would have guessed.

Big Show with a shoulder tackle off the 2nd rope…but he hurts the knee!

Flawless World’s Strongest Slam…and a kickout!

Mark Henry pins Big Show in 6:00. Another WSS, and then two Splashes for the win. Henry then traps Show’s leg in a chair and drops a Vader Bomb Knee Drop (Pillmanizing!), injuring Show which would lead to some more Show vs. Henry goodness later in 2011. Exactly the win Henry needed to get him in the main event and continue to get him over as a legit bad ass. Well done. Good match. We’re 3 for 3.

2nd Stretcher of the night. First Cara, now Big Show.

Vince still hasn’t re-signed CM Punk. It’s getting close to the expiration date! Vince says he offered the most lucrative contract he possibly could. This is the man who gave Bret Hart 20 years once!

RAW Money in the Bank
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley vs. R-Truth

This one’s winner prediction was more clean cut. It was pretty obvious Del Rio was winning.

Booker T talks about Alberto Del Rio’s claim that it was destiny for him to become champion. Sad that he never got passed that mindset.

Even though I was disgusted with the idea of Truth main eventing Capital Punishment, he was a funny heel.

Everyone grabs a ladder to start to defend themselves, and Truth grabs a small step ladder to put over a fear of heights. Pretty funny.

Miz was still over here.

Poor Del Rio. He gets knocked around and put under a ladder on the outside, and everyone just tosses their ladders on him.

The future Awesome Truth have a step ladder duel.

Bourne and Kingston climb up an unopened ladder. You know, Kingston was the reason they were able to cut Shelton Benjamin.

Of course Cole is pro-Miz and anti-Riley.

Bourne with the Air Bourne (Shooting Star Press) from a super high ladder to everyone on the outside! That tops John Morrison’s spot from Mania 27.

Miz is hanging from the title belt and falls badly. It looks like he wrecked his knee and he screams like it. Doctors at ringside and it looks like the kneecap is dislocated. Poor Miz. He avoid stretcher #3…but is helped to the back.

Double falling hurricanrana from Bourne and Rey at the same time, which was cool.

Swagger puts on the Ankle Lock on Kingston when Kingston is hanging on the ladder!

Booker T is critical of Kofi Kingston’s dancing in matches. What a hypocrite. Spinarooni anyone?

R-Truth just botched something. I can’t really explain what.

Kofi Kingston just nails Rey with his legs on the top of the ladder. Rey falls like a dead man. Wow.

It’s the Miz! Was a face turn on the horizon? Got a huge reaction…and when Rey stopped him he got booed.

Alberto Del Rio wins in 15:54. Rey is about to win, but here is Del Rio! Rey hits Del Rio with the briefcase on top of the ladder, and it really looks like Rey is about to win…but Del Rio goes for the mask! Brilliant (if you ignore WCW)! Rey covers up and Del Rio shoves him onto the ladder next to him…which is amazing in itself since he practically can’t see as he’s hiding his face. The ladder does topple over messing up the finish, but it’s still fine as ADR climbs up and wins. Another very good match! People thought Punk was winning tonight, and Del Rio was cashing in. We’re a month early for that!

Anyway, we are 4 for 4 with 2 matches left!

Del Rio interview…he actually originally had the title match at MITB before Punk got it. This foreshadows the MITB cashing…if it happens.

World Heavyweight Championship
Randy Orton© vs. Christian

If Orton is DQed, or if there is a bad referee call, he loses the title to Christian.

Story here: As I wrote earlier, the IWC was spit at with the two days Christian title run, but it did lead to a good story. Orton seemed to feel bad for Christian. In future rematches, Christian would keep getting screwed somehow (like, he had his leg under the rope in the Capital Punishment match). Eventually, Christian turned heel as he thought WWE was protecting their “golden boy” (which fits the theme of this PPV brilliantly). Orton mentioned at first it was all respect, but now he was getting angry. Which leads of course to the DQ stip.

There were Christian’s last good days.

Christian starts by throwing a chair into the ring and sliding it to Orton. Nice.

This is a solid match, but nothing exciting is really happening, if that makes sense. It’s actually the standard for Christian.

Orton does bust out a nice dodge and roll-up from the corner.

Orton has one of the best dropkicks in wrestling.

Top rope headbutt from Christian.

Orton survives the Kill Switch.

Christian wins the title when Orton gets DQed at 12:20. Christian spits at Orton, and Orton low blows him for the DQ. Crowd pops. Orton beats the hell out of Christian and RKOs him on the announcer’s table. Table doesn’t break. You can kinda tell the refs want him to come back to try again. Table holds on the 2nd time as well. In all seriousness, it’s a basic solid match. Christian was the master of those. While the ending was stupid, it does make sense within the story. You know how HHH tells Daniel Bryan that’s he’s a B+ wrestler. That’s what Christian really was. Still though, a solid match is a solid match. We are 5 for 5. Will Cena-Punk deliver?

WWE Championship
John Cena© vs. CM Punk

Get ready for the spiritual successor to RVD vs. Cena at One Night Stand 06.

The one thing that made little sense that they had to fix in this match build-up was that there’s no good reason Vince would ever give Punk a title shot if he could leave. So, that’s how the if Cena loses he’s fired bit was added, as Cena was the one who wanted this match.

CM Punk’s entrance here is one of the greatest of all time. The crowd reaction is amazing. Punk absolutely owns the arena. Michael Jordan could show up and I think the focus would be on Punk.

It’s a shame that Punk didn’t keep “This Fire Burns” longer. The line “even through these darkest days, this first still burns” fit perfectly here.

The heat for Cena is immense.

Snapmare by Cena. BOOOOOOOO!

“You Can’t Wrestle” chants…and Punk clarifies that they are talking about Cena. Haha.

Great wrestling early. Cena really gets high on a hip toss…he has his selling shoes on for Punk, that’s for sure.

Every move Punk makes just works. The crowd is absolutely white hot here.

Punk with a leg sleeper. Punk busted out everything for this match.

Punk with a low-five to Colt Cabana!

Cena is hung on the apron…and Punk comes off the top with a knee to the back of the head!

Small botch…Punk hits a twisting crossbody, but he’s a bit too low and hits Cena’s knee.

Cena suplexes Punk to the floor from the apron!

There are a lot of finisher teases here, which really works the crowd.

Cena with a new move, a slam into a reverse DDT type move. Pretty cool.

You Can’t See Me…blocked with a kick to the head!

Suicide Dive from Punk! He hit it good too! Match is practically perfect so far.

You Can’t See Me hits! AA…but Punk almost lands on his feet. Punk then hits a sweet kick combo with a sweep! Awesome!

GTS blocked into a gutwrench slam.

Stiff knees to the face from Punk and a bulldog! That 2nd one clearly hit Cena in the face hard.

Match has steadily built up to the point where it’s concievable anyone can win.

Punk in the STF! Huge cheers when Punk gets the rope.

Punk off the top, but Cena rolls through and gets the AA. No, AA countered. GTS…amazingly countered into a STF. Incredible sequence!

Punk counters the STF into the Vise!

AA….1…2……….NO! I remember thinking that was the finish.

Cena hits a huge legdrop from the top, but Punk gets out at 2!

Another AA, I really thought this was it, but no, another kick out!

Cena goes for a top rope AA….but Punk counters into a hurricanrana!

GTS hits….but Cena falls to the outside!

Punk gets Cena back into the ring…but Vince and Big Johnny are here! Huge boos.

STF! STF! Vince sends Johnny to ring the bell!

CM Punk wins the WWE Title when he pinned John Cena 33:44. Cena knocks out Big Johnny and tells McMahon that a man is gonna win this fight. Cena goes back in and walks into the GTS, 1…2…3! Crowd ERUPTS!

Vince panics, then in an interesting move goes to the announcer’s desk and calls for Alberto Del Rio to cash in MITB. Del Rio comes, but Punk kicks him in the head and leaves through the crowd. Vince looks like he’s crying in the ring. This ending is a very weird (in an interesting way) moment, as you are mixing shoot with work elements there.

I don’t know what the greatest wrestling match of all time is, but this is without a doubt a contender. The story. The build. The layout of the match. The two characters in the ring. The two men in the ring. The moves. The false finishes. Everything. Everything hit. When WWE said that the Mania 27 Undertaker vs. HHH match was the Match of the Year, they slapped Punk and Cena in the face (that’s coming from someone who likes that match a hell of a lot). It won every other match of the year award out there.

The WWE had a goldmine waiting with CM Punk after this. But even with his eventually super long World Title reign, he was still never the man. True change never happened. The sad thing is that it fulfilled what CM Punk said in the famous shoot: Vince McMahon will make money in spite of himself.

There are six matches here and at a minimum, all six are good. That combined with the fact that you have an arguable Match of All Time candidate, well, how is this not one of the greatest PPVs of all time?

Final Grade: A+

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Summerslam ’10

SummerSlam_(2010)

WWE Summerslam 2010
August 15, 2010
Los Angeles, CA
Reviewed on June 22, 2014

2010 was an interesting time for WWE as they had shockingly tried something new: The Nexus. The Nexus were a string of rookies from the newly formed NXT that came in and just began destroying everything NWO style, and it was very fresh and interesting. And after some Triple H, John Cena, Batista and Randy Orton title reigns, WWE needed interesting.

Also of note was that one of those rookies, Daniel Bryan, was released new the beginning of the angle when he choked out Justin Roberts with his tie. We were still too close to the Chris Benoit tragedy for anything like that to happen…although maybe it was a worked shoot the whole time? (I mean, HHH and HBK had used Crossfaces in the past).

In theory, Summerslam should have made some stars within the Nexus. Did it do that? Let’s find out.

The Card

Intercontinental Championship
Dolph Ziggler© vs. Kofi Kingston

I’m not sure about the story here, but I know Dolph and Kofi wrestled each other a billion times (not an estimate) from 2009 through 2012, so I doubt this has a serious story attached to it.

Kofi misses a pretty awesome looking suicide dive. What a start.

I haven’t noticed since Kofi has been stale for years, but there is a difference between 2010 Kofi and 2014 Kofi. 2010 Kofi was better.

Draw in 7:05. Nexus comes in and beats the crap out of both. I guess I’d rather them not do that in a title match, but it serves a good purpose I guess. We do get a Barrett promo out of it, and Barrett owned on the mic then too. Good match for 7 minutes.

Team WWE needs a 7th teammate. Jericho and Edge try to convince The Miz to join the team. Miz isn’t sure Nexus should be his priority though.

Diva’s Championship
Alicia Fox© vs. Melina

Is this the famous Fox vs. Melina match?!

Yikes, Melina comes out dressed like a cross of Pocohahantas and a Las Vegas showgirl.

I never got Melina as a face. And until very recently I didn’t understand how Alicia Fox had a job.

Michael Cole calls Melina one of the all time greats. Yeah I’m sure.

There’s some leg psychology here. That’s always fun.

Melina wins the title in 5:22. Melina hits that cutter facebuster for the win. You know, it really wasn’t that bad. It was a Melina squash basically. Alicia Fox’s offense looked horrible but she was barely on offense so it didn’t matter. Melina’s scream is the worst though. Melina cries because she won the title in her hometown or something. Here come the Co-WWE Women Champs Laycool! Laycool owned has heels here. This led to the unification match at some PPV in the future. They take out Melina.

The Big Show vs. CM Punk, Luke Gallows and Joseph Mercury

Ugh. No wonder Punk wanted to leave in a year.

Punk was the main event of Summerslam 2009 and is now regulated to the joke handicap match.

The story here began when Punk lost his hair to Rey. Then he got involved with Big Show, who unmasked Punk and revealed his bald head.

Ha, Punk comes out with a “I broke Big Show’s hand” t-shirt (which the S.E.S. did in an angle). Punk is always great.

Big Show owns Mercury and Gallows. On the Show-Punk face off, there are huge CM Punk chants. Way to be a top face Show.

Big Show wins when he pins Mercury and Gallows in 6:45. Show chokeslams Mercury on Gallows for the win. Punk was pretty good and you can tell Mercury was wrestling to keep his job, but I mean, this is pretty much a waste on a Summerslam card. I forgot if this actually led to a Big Show vs. Punk match.

Kane cuts a promo with a casket. He runs into WWE Champ Sheamus. A little bit about Kane here. The whole Undertaker in a vegetative state angle was pretty fucking stupid. And then it got worse when Kane blamed Rey Mysterio of all people of going it. Like I’m supposed to remotely believe that Rey Mysterio took out the Undertaker. We all knew it was gonna be Kane.

Sheamus tells Kane to stay out of his way. Was Kane in his way in the first place?

Miz joins the team after pointing how they begged him.

WWE Championship
Sheamus© vs. Randy Orton

We actually did this match at the Royal Rumble in the whole Legacy implosion. In this case, Sheamus won the title at Fatal Four Way on a kinda fluke.

There’s definitely improvement from the Sheamus who was in the World Title match at the Rumble and this Sheamus…but this match is still pretty boring.

Sheamus counters a RKO late and Michael Cole blows the call. Nice.

To be fair this match has picked up towards the end. I think Orton just turned face a few months prior…and the crowd is super hot for him.

Orton wins by DQ in 18:55. Sheamus brings a chair in. When the ref tries to take the chair from him, Sheamus sends the ref out for the DQ. Awful finish. Sheamus doesn’t even get a chair shot in as Orton RKOs him on the table. So not only did Sheamus not beat Orton, he got beaten down by him. No wonder no one cared about him until he won the Rumble 16 months later. Horrible horrible ending. This is Summerslam?

World Heavyweight Championship
Kane© vs. Rey Mysterio

Somewhere smack in the middle of this strange Kane-Undertaker vegetative state angle was Kane winning MITB and the World Title from Rey, and blaming Rey for taking out Undertaker. Did anyone buy Rey being the man to take out Undertaker? Anyone?

Kane and Rey had some mask feud not that long ago either. These two have never had good chemistry in the ring.

A lot of early bearhugs.

Rey’s in the casket! He fights out though.

Kane retains by pin in 13:32. Chokeslam for the win. Match was pretty bad. Kane just isn’t the guy for Rey to have good matches with. There was a good spot at the end where Kane put his feet up too early to counter the West Coast Pop Splash…but Rey seemed to improvise and counter that instead of looking like an idiot.

Kane is gonna stuff Rey in the casket now…and when Kane opens it it’s empty, leading to an audible groan from the crowd. Rey tries to fight it, but Kane chokeslams him again. Rey even gets Tombstoned this time. Kane opens the casket again…and it’s THE UNDERTAKER! Huge reaction! He looks pretty damn old here though (he somehow aged like 10 years from the Mania match with Shawn). Taker turns to Rey and asks him why he did it before beating the crap out of the obvious culprit, Kane. Shockingly, Kane gets the upper hand and lays out Taker (and Taker put him over on three straight PPVs). Good pop, even for the obvious here. This would lead to Taker’s last long non-Mania program.

Elimination Match
Nexus vs. Team WWE

Miz shows up, but Cena says they already have a partner…Daniel Bryan! Big pop for Bryan.

So it’s Otunga, Sheffield, Tarver, Barrett, Gabriel, Young and Slater vs. Cena, Edge, Jericho, Morrison, Bryan, Bret Hart and R-Truth.

Note: this is Bret Hart’s last PPV match, and interestingly wrestled his last WWE PPV main event after HBK did. Even as late as December 2009, what were the odds of that? 10,000 to 1?
Bret Hart actually looks pretty good here. It’s a shame he couldn’t get hit in the head, he probably could have had a solid run otherwise.

Bryan makes Darren Young submit in a minute. I guess that continues the tradition of a submission wrestler taking out the exotic haired black guy in 45 seconds at Summerslam with a Crossface (reference to Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan…and that reference could have went further).

Lawler calls Bryan Bryan Danielson on air. Ha.

Morrison eliminates Tarver with Sharship Pain at the 4 minute mark. 7-5 WWE advantage.

Sheffield is the first Nexus guy in this match to look like a threat as he kicks the crap out of Morrison.

Gabriel cheap shots Morrison and Sheffield takes him out with a clothesline to take him out. Sheffield then takes out R-Truth with another clothesline and suddenly it’s tied. I’ll complain about Truth being in this later.

Michael Cole says that if Bret could lead team WWE to victory it would be his greatest Summerslam moment of his career. Screw that winning the WWF title from Undertaker in 1997 or having one of the greatest matches ever at Summerslam ’92.

Bret locks Slater in the Sharpshooter, and Barrett tosses a chair in. Bret smacks Sheffield with the chair for the DQ…then blames Barrett for bringing it in. I can’t think of a time that didn’t work. Anyway, Bret’s gone in the only way he could be.

Edge spears Sheffield and we are down to 4 vs. 4. Cena, Bryan, Jericho and Edge vs. Gabriel, Otunga, Barrett and Slater.

Otunga taps to a botched Walls.

Jericho accidentally runs into Cena, and then gets hit with a rear naked choke drop by Slater and Slater eliminates him.

Edge and Cena argue, then Slater shoved Edge into Cena and rolls him up to take him out! Nexus with the 3-2 lead!

Bryan owns everyone and makes Slater tap (amazingly, Bryan’s moveset is exactly the same three years later). Miz comes back and takes Bryan out with the briefcase. Barrett pins Bryan.

Cena vs. Barrett and Gabriel.

DDT on the concrete! Cena’s out cold! CAN HE COME BACK?! Even Lawler and Cole thinks its hopeless.

Team WWE wins when Cena makes Barrett submit in 35:18. Gabriel misses the 450, and Cena pins him. Barrett then just runs into the STF and that’s that. Very disappointing and a lot worse than I remember it. This match buried Nexus as any kind of threat. The only people they beat legit were Morrison and Truth. Bret got DQed. Jericho ran into Cena and got fluke pinned. Edge argued with Cena and got fluke pinned. Miz attacked Bryan. Cena of course OVERCAME the odds. Ugh. No idea how Barrett dragged this to December.

The debate of how significant this match was is Daniel Bryan’s comeback. I think it’s a good moment and it gave Bryan a good push out of the gate…but once he won the US title WWE did nothing with him for a good 10 months. He did wrestle a bunch of pre-PPV matches (Wrestlemania, Over the Limit, surely there is more) so there is that. So this all turned out to be meaningless.

Here’s my problem with the idea of the match as well. The commentators were selling it as the most important match in WWE history and all of that. So why then is R-Truth on the team? Shouldn’t Randy Orton or I don’t know, the WWE Champion Sheamus be on it instead. To an extent that thinking applies to Morrison and even Bret Hart.

This PPV is full of bullshit finishes and is pretty forgettable. All Summerslam 2010 got was the further development of The Miz as a main event star. Most of Nexus became nothing significant from their run in Nexus. Even Barrett…practically a sure thing, got lost in the shuffle with the Corre later. For a match with a lot of young guys the lack of historical significance is surprising.

I guess you can also say its Bret Hart’s last WWE PPV match, but no one remembers it for that.

Nexus should have been so much better. There was so much potential here.

Forgettable and overall too many weak finishes. Could have been worse but there was decent wrestling scattered around this show.

Final Grade: C

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Unforgiven 2008

Wweunforgiven2008poster

WWE Unforgiven 2008
September 7, 2008
Cleveland, OH
Reviewed on March 5, 2014

Background: 2008 was something of a bounce back for WWE. WWE was experimenting in trying to build new stars and they ranged from sure fire future superstars (Jeff Hardy, CM Punk) to intriguing (The Brian Kendrick, MVP, The Miz, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase). There was also the rebuilding of some stars that quite never hit their potential…but WWE hadn’t given up yet (Matt Hardy, Mark Henry, Shelton Benjamin). This made for a very interesting time in WWE.

It is also worth pointing out that this is a John Cenaless PPV. There aren’t many of these post 2002, and there aren’t many without him on or near the top post 2004. It is always interesting to see the quality of a PPV without him.

Some quick storyline recaps here: For Smackdown, it seems inevitable that Jeff Hardy is going to win the World Title. Wrestlemania 25 seems like the best bet, but for the time being he’s a solid #2 behind World Champion HHH…and whenever Edge would return (note: Edge returned at Survivor Series…Hardy won the title at Armageddon).

On RAW, CM Punk shocked the world and cashed in MITB on Edge, winning the World Title. To be fair though, it may have been a little too early. In Punk’s defense though (and as his documentary stated), WWE didn’t give Punk nearly the proper build as a guy who supposed to be the top guy on RAW. I do think Punk’s time came next year though.

ECW…while not the ECW of old, had turned into a fun weekly show. Matt Hardy was doing the poor man’s version of what Jeff was doing on Smackdown and mainly feuding with Mark Henry.

I should also point out that Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho hate each other! Probably since Jericho hit Shawn’s wife.

Let’s go over the Scramble Match though, as there are three of them on this card. It works very similarly to the Wrestlemania 2000 Hardcore Battle Royal and a Royal Rumble combined. Two men start and every five minutes another one enters until all five men are in. Then there is five minutes after that until the match ends. Anyone can pin anyone at anytime, and if successful becomes the interim champion. Whoever is the interim champion at the end of the time limit is awarded the title. I actually have several issues with the Scramble match that I’ll detail at the end of the review.

The Card

ECW Championship Scramble
Mark Henry © vs. Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. The Miz vs. Finlay

First Championship Scramble. I never really liked the look of the new ECW title. Title belts should be gold.

Matt Hardy is #1. The Miz is #2!

Fans are pretty hot for Matt. For the record Matt would never be this high again, as 2009 was a down year for Hardy, and he didn’t last through 2010.

Miz hits this cool spot where Matt is on the 2nd ropes (in 619 position), only Miz runs up Matt’s back, jumps over the top rope and hits him in the back of the head. Don’t remember seeing that one before.

#3 is Chavo Guerrero.

Chavo quickly hits a Frog Splash on Matt and gets the three. He’s the interim champ.

Matt Hardy hits the Side Effect on Chavo get become interim champ.

#4 is Mark Henry. Somebody gonna get their ass kicked!

Henry was finally coming into his own in 2008.

World’s Strongest Slam on Chavo…he regains control of the title!

Finlay’s the last one in, Hornswoggle is here too. 5 minutes left in the match!

Shillelagh shot to Henry! Finlay nails Hardy with the Celtic Cross and controls the title!

Twist of Fate to the Miz, Matt Hardy controls the title with 3 minutes to go!

Matt Hardy wins the ECW Title in 20:04. Nice ending as Matt Hardy breaks up about 20 different pin attempts and holds on. Match was pretty average overall. Set up Hardy vs. Henry as Mark Henry never lost a fall.

World Tag Team Championship
Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes © vs. Cryme Tyme

Story here is that Cryme Tyme actually stole the tag belts, but Dibiase and Rhodes got them back. This was an important point in the formation of Legacy.

This is a very meat and potatoes tag team match. JTG is the babyface in distress. It’s pretty boring unfortunately.

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase retain when Rhodes pinned JTG in 11:35. Pretty cool ending sequence that ends with Dibiase reversing a small package that JTG had on Rhodes. Match was pretty damn boring though. Cryme Tyme attacks Dibiase and Rhodes, but we get the debut of Manu to help them out! Woo?

Unsanctioned Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Let me just say this. When Chris Jericho came back in 2007, after an initially good response, he kinda fell flat. This feud is what transformed Jericho back into a surefire main eventer.

Jericho and HBK had some issues in the summer (Jericho even threw HBK into the jeritron…which was a big screen tv), but it all came to a head at Summerslam. HBK was announcing his retirement…and Jericho got involved. HBK told Jericho that he could tell his kids he will never be HBK. Jericho responded by trying to hit HBK…but HBK ducked and Jericho hit HBK’s wife.

I will say that the idea of an unsanctioned match is stupid. It’s in a WWE ring. With a WWE ref. On a WWE PPV. But that’s beside the point and a small nitpick.

It’s a slugfest to start and HBK beats the crap out of Jericho with his boot.

We’ve got a table! Jericho goes for a powerbomb but HBK fights out.

Jericho with some chair action!

Jericho goes for a vertical suplex from the ring through the table on the outside…but another block from HBK.

HBK makes a comeback and goes for Sweet Chin Music, but stops, instead deciding to beat the hell out of Jericho some more.

Crossface!

Jericho is able to slam HBK’s face into a chair in the corner…and then focuses on the injured eye from the summer.

Walls of Jericho. Apparently HBK told Michael Cole about some bible verse about the fall of the Walls of Jericho or something.

Somehow HBK is able to grab a fire extinguisher while in the Walls…he gets out by spraying Jericho of course.

HBK suplexes Jericho on the ramp. Ouch!

Lance Cade in the house! He’s on Y2J’s side here and attacks HBK. HBK dispatches him quickly.

Cade gets a shot in and hits a clothesline which HBK sells by spinning in air and landing on the concrete floor.

HBK has an injured arm, and Jericho wraps it around the post as Cade hits it.

Chair to the arm. Ouch!

Another HBK. SCM to Cade!

Jericho’s laid out on the top rope…chair to the head…and Jericho goes crashing into that table!

Jericho is now getting beaten down with the chair. Some pretty great screaming from Jericho here.

HBK elbowdrops Cade and Jericho though the Announcer’s Table!

Now HBK is whipping Jericho with a leather belt. He actually whips him in the eye once, which looks brutal.

Now HBK is beating Jericho with the metal part of the belt. Again, pretty brutal beatdown.

Shawn Michaels defeats Chris Jericho via stoppage at 26:53. Referee calls it as HBK keeps beating down on Jericho. HBK keeps going, and HBK superkicks the ref. I actually….don’t think this match is that good. It had the feel of a feud ender, which it wasn’t. It didn’t click for me until the part when HBK sent Jericho through the table…and even then it became overkill later.

I think this is because super emotional HBK just isn’t natural for him. It’s not the best HBK. The only time it really worked for me is against Ric Flair at Wrestlemania XXIV.

This result also hurts the very end of this PPV…which we’ll get to.

Rhodes, Dibiase and Manu talk to Randy Orton (why is he here?) Apparently Orton still isn’t impressed with them…since beating Cryme Tyme isn’t a big deal. He’s not wrong to be fair.

WWE Championship Scramble
Triple H© vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP

Jeff Hardy is #1! How unlucky for the Hardyz that they each drew #1. Then again…Matt won earlier.

JR and Taz go over the rules of the Scramble Match. Uh…we had one earlier tonight you know.

#2 is Shelton Benjamin! This is Gold Standard Shelton.

Benjamin counters a kick with powerbomb in the corner. Unexpected but cool.

#3 is THE…BRIAN…KENDRICK! THE MAN WITH A PLAN.

Hardy pins Kendrick to become the interim champ!

The KENDRICK! Kendrick pins Jeff to become interim champ!

It’s MVP at #4! The Game gets 5 minutes of work in tonight I see….

Nice super dropkick from Kendrick! Knocked MVP right out.

Kendrick was great in this gimmick. Too bad he couldn’t stop smoking weed.

It’s something seeing MVP, Benjamin and Kendrick in the ring wrestling for the WWE Title.

Here comes the Game! Can he unseat THE BRIAN KENDRICK?!

Pedigree to Kendrick. HHH is interim champ. That was fast.

Twist of Fate! Jeff Hardy controls the title! 3 minutes to go!

HHH pedigrees Kendrick again…and pins him again. HHH is champ again!

Swanton to Kendrick! Jeff Hardy is champ again! 90 seconds to go!

We get the powerbomb-superplex spot from MVP, Benjamin and Kendrick!

30 seconds, can Jeff hold on?!

Triple H retains the WWE title in 20:16. Jeff takes out everyone but HHH…but HHH pedigrees MVP at the last moment and pins him. Finish is botched a bit…as Jeff clearly could have broken up the pin…but instead tried to pin Shelton. It’s a good match though, as it continually pushed Jeff Hardy as someone who keeps getting so close…but whose moment seems inevitable. Also, Kendrick, MVP and Shelton had some good moments.

HBK interview! Still looks upset. HBK is happy that for the first time in months, he doesn’t have to go to a hospital after a PPV. He’s content with how tonight went down. Not satisfied though.

CM Punk interview! Orton interrupts. Rhodes, Manu and Dibiase attack Punk! Kofi Kingston tries to help, but gets beat down as well. Orton then punts Punk in the head! Orton is impressed now with Rhodes, Dibiase and Manu.

Michael Cole talks about what that means for the Scramble Match later. I’ll talk later about why this sucks, but it sucks.

Diva’s Championship
Michelle McCool© vs. Maryse

I miss both of these Divas.

Taz talks about how Maryse and McCool have totally opposite personalities, that McCool is humble etc. Kind of funny considering Lay-Cool later.

Michelle just kicks Maryse right in the face.

Pretty messed up sunset flip, but Michelle saves it with a dropkick to the face.

I don’t remember McCool’s offense being all kick based.

Michelle McCool pins Maryse and retains the title in 5:42. Face-buster (I wanna say it was called the Wings of Love or something) for the pin. Pretty well wrestled Diva’s match I must say.

Ok, so a couple of times JR has talked about a poll about whether Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show in the WWE Title Scramble. 77% said yes. I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but there’s apparently an angle later.

Raw GM Mike Adamle states that CM Punk will probably not be able to compete. I get putting over Orton’s punt, but it’s a little bs…which I will explain why later.

Here comes the Big Show.

Big Show suggests that Adamle should enter him in the World Title Scramble. You know…that actually makes sense compared to who was actually picked. Why not the Big Show?

Here comes a Guerrero move talented than Chavo…Vickie!

She’s mad that Big Show is causing a disruption. She called him a big dumb Giant!

Um…we get some druids. This took a weird turn.

Big Show’s cracking up. I admit that’s pretty funny.

Druids are bringing out a casket.

Undertaker on the titantron!

Taker offers her the chance to go into the coffin herself. Or he’ll come down there and put her in there himself. Obvious heel turn coming up.

GONG! Here comes the Undertaker!

For the record the history here is Taker beat Edge at Summerslam inside Hell in a Cell. And Taker and Vickie had problems as a result. Something like that.

Vickie tries to run, but Big Show holds her so she can’t.

Taker grabs Vickie…and Show punches Taker!

Big Show beats the crap out of The Undertaker. This would set up a Casket Match at Survivor Series.

That was a pretty boring beatdown to be honest. We couldn’t we do this on TV?

We recap the recent history with Orton and Punk.

William Regal thinks he would be a great candidate to replace CM Punk if needed. I agree!

World Heavyweight Championship Scramble
CM Punk© (Maybe) vs. Kane vs. JBL vs. Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Batista is #1!

Let’s go over the Scramble rules again!

#2 is a WRESTLING GOD….JBL!

Figure Four by Batista on JBL. How unexpected…although he’s obviously honoring Flair.

#3 is KANE!

It’s all Kane vs. Batista. JBL is on the outside or something.

Interesting that the three big men were the first three in.

Chokeslam to JBL! Kane gets the pin and is the interim champion!

#4 is Rey Mysterio. We get some drama…will CM Punk make it for #5?

Mysterio has some mohawk thing going on. Looks out of place.

Rey and Batista work together to hurt Kane! That was something else that replaced the original Eddie Guerrero and Batista friendship angle back in 2005.

#5 is….Chris Jericho! I guess he wasn’t beaten down that badly afterall?

Jericho is still selling the injuries from earlier.

Kane’s still champ right now. Can he hold on?

Michael Cole points out that Jericho doesn’t seem fit to be in this match in the first place. That’s a great point Michael Cole.

Three minutes left…can Kane hang on?

Why does Kane go for covers? Lawler correctly points out that it changes nothing.

A minute left, but Batista is beating up Kane!

Spinebuster! Batista gets the pin! Batista is champ with 30 seconds left!

Here comes Rey…Batista counters him with a powerbomb…but Jericho covers Kane…1…2…3! Batista should have just pinned Rey…he had 6 seconds left.

Chris Jericho wins the World Heavyweight Championship in 17:15. Match was just plodding along to be honest, I can’t remember a meaningful spot or moment until Jericho shows up…and Jericho does nothing in route to winning the title.

Ok, let’s talk about this whole CM Punk thing. It makes little to no sense backstage wise, and storyline wise it’s okay except for one thing.

Backstage wise, according to the CM Punk documentary, the Jericho-HBK feud needed the title. They did a ladder match at No Mercy, do I get that. Fine. BUT…Jericho and Punk have a steel cage match a couple of weeks later for the title which Jericho won. So…why couldn’t Punk just drop the title there? I don’t know. Somehow Punk just giving up a chance to defend the title made more sense. It doesn’t, but that’s what we got. Pretty ass backward thinking there.

Storyline wise it could have worked…except Chris Jericho should be in a lot…A LOT…worse condition than CM Punk was in. I get the punt was being put over as death. But Chris Jericho was beaten down, but through two tables, helped out of the ring, etc. etc. I get that Mike Adamle was supposed to be dumb or something…but that was really dumb. Big Show, William Regal ,heck, even Randy Orton made more sense! Even if Orton was still “injured”…he was in better shape than Jericho!

Let’s talk the concept of the Scramble Match. It worked out well in the ECW Title match…but Jeff Hardy not breaking up the pin in the Smackdown one is pretty dumb. Why are you going for a pin? You were the interim champion!

In the RAW one…Chris Jericho did nothing. He took a spear, then did nothing and covered Kane. If your match is designed in a way where an injured broken down wrestler can just sneak in and get a pin without the element of surprise (like MITB would have) and win the World Title, I’m sorry, but that doesn’t really work for me.

There has only been one more Scramble Match in WWE history I believe, in 2009. While I think you can make the concept work, it needs to be booked better overall.

I don’t think this is a bad PPV, but it just has a lot of mishaps overall. Nothing really clicked (although I liked the Smackdown title Scramble a lot). The angles seemed more important than the matches (Legacy, Punk going down, Taker-Show), and HBK vs. Jericho didn’t feel right at all.

In the grand scheme of things though, irrelevant. WWE storylines would keep going as they always did.

Final Grade: C

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Unforgiven 2005

Unforgiven_2005

WWE Unforgiven 2005
September 18, 2005
Oklahoma City, OK
Reviewed on May 20, 2014

The Batista-John Cena era was well underway in WWE. For the past two years John Cena was slated to be the future, but something happened once he got there. After disposing of JBL, Cena went up against several internet favorites and the cheers went away. Cena was soon booed in arenas all over the world…and he NEVER got passed that. It began with Christian and Chris Jericho. Today it’s Daniel Bryan. The point is, John Cena became the machine’s champion. And the fans forever resented him for it.

Unforgiven is the start of a serious push for some guys that to be fair probably didn’t deserve it. Most notably in this case is Chris Masters. While Masters became a solid hand later, he was clearly not ready for this spot.

Another point of interest of this card is the Matt Hardy-Edge cage match that spawned from the real life Hardy-Edge-Lita feud. One of the first instances of what was later called the Reality Era was shown here.

The Card

Intercontinental Championship
Carlito© vs. Ric Flair

This was the period where HHH was gone after Batista destroyed him, and Flair was on his own. Flair became a face as a result.

Pretty slow start with a lot of strutting and wooing.

Ha, awesome spot where Flair actually hits a move off the top rope instead of being slammed off.

Ric Flair wins the title by submission in 11:46. Carlito goes to spit the apple in Flair’s face, but Flair punches him causing Carlito to choke. Figure Four and Carlito taps. I thought it started pretty boringly, but the finish was pretty good and the crowd was very into it.

Postmatch promo with Flair setting up the future Flair-HHH feud.

Lita and Edge were such awesome heels.

Torrie Wilson and Victoria vs. Trish Stratus and Ashley

The hell if I know what this feud is about.

Apparently Trish was injured since April and is just coming back now. I remember her being a bitch heel before that, so I guess it’s one of those babyface comebacks.

Victoria and Trish start. Those two always had good chemistry.

Trish and Ashley win when Trish pinned Victoria in 7:07. Chick Kick for the win. This wasn’t too bad actually! Mostly Trish vs. Victoria which is what was needed…since Torrie can’t wrestle and Ashley kinda can’t either.

Flair taking a bunch of lady fans to his limo. Flair is hilarious.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

Oh man this might be awful.

Sick back suplex by Snitsky on the Show!

Big Show pins Snitsky in 6:11. Chokeslam for the win. Actually…not bad! I’m shocked. It was short and to the point, and there was some good power wrestling there. That back suplex was awesome.

Haha, more Flair stuff.

There’s a lot of HBK vs. Chris Masters hype…even though the match isn’t coming up yet.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kerwin White

Oh man Kerwin White.

Shelton Benjamin pinned Kerwin White in 8:06. White tries to hit Benjamin with the golf club…but Benjamin counters with the T-Bone for the win. Match was surprisingly dull. Not sure what was missing. I guess it wasn’t bad though.

Steel Cage Match
Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Story here: Where do I start? In real life Adam Copeland slept with Amy Dumas, who was Matt Hardy’s girlfriend. This led to Matt Hardy legit getting fired, but the crowd wanted him back. Crowd chanted “We Want Matt” everywhere. They brought him back and it was a huge deal all around. Edge and Matt had a lame Summerslam match though that ended via ref stoppage. Oddly, there was a shoehorned Kane storyline in this too, since Kane storyline wise was married to Lita. That got forgotten here.

Action packed start. Edge tries to escape quickly, but Matt lets him know this is gonna be a long one.

Powerbomb from the top leading to a ten count with both men down. Come on, it’s a Cage match, let’s not have that crap in here.

Crowd really gets behind Matt as he traps Edge in the ropes (as Edge trapped him at Summerslam) and punches away.

Side Effect off the top! Lita brings a chair into the ring…and then breaks up the pin!

Twist of Fate to Lita! Spear by Edge! Matt Hardy won’t die though.

Matt Hardy pins Edge in 21:05. Yodel Legdrop from the top of the cage ends Edge! Great match here. You really felt Matt Hardy hated both Edge and Lita here. Surprisingly, this didn’t launch Matt to the main event. Instead, this was perhaps his career peak. Still, a great match is a great match.

Bischoff-Cena confrontation. This came off as a poor man’s Austin-McMahon.

World Tag Team Championship
The Hurricane and Rosey© vs. Cade and Murdoch

Hurricane and Rosey were one of the least cared about Tag Champs ever.

WHATSUPWITTHAT?

Sick DDT from Murdoch on Hurricane where Hurricane was laying on the apron and Murdoch standing on the outside. Hurricane is dead.

Basically a handicap match now.

Murdoch and Cade win the title when Murdoch pinned Hurricane in 7:40. Hurricane staggers back and makes the tag, but he is still woozy and Cade and Murdoch hit a double team clothesline move for the win. Interesting story of the match with Hurricane, but match overall was pretty bad. The tag division overall at the time was really weak.

A girl comes out of Flair’s limo with only Flair’s robe on. Flair is hilarious.

Maria interviews Chris Masters. Maria asks him why he is called the Masterbate. No idea we had dumb Maria at this time. What an awesome character that was.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters

Story here: Masters says HBK is a fossil and it’s time for new blood. HBK said that “Greenhorn”, people need to know their spot in the pecking order and Masters isn’t at the top yet.

Masters gets an early Masterlock but HBK manages to escape.

Torture Rack from Masters!

Michaels counters a Masterlock by jumping over the top rope, which was awesome.

Shawn Michaels pins Chris Masters in 17:27. HBK gets caught come off the top. Masters catches him and turns it into a near Masterlock, but HBK counters and hits Sweet Chin for the win. Wow, Chris Masters looked great here. It had to be HBK, since Masters didn’t remotely do anything before or after this match quality wise. HBK just knows how to wrestle bigger opponents. Very good match.

WWE World Championship
John Cena© vs. Kurt Angle

This match seems structured as Cena being the underdog and Angle being the big match experienced favorite.

This has been a good back and forth match.

Ref bump, and Cena gets the FU for zero!

Angle comes back with the Ankle Lock and Bischoff taunts him.

Kurt Angle wins by DQ in 17:17. Cena takes the WWE title belt and nails Angle…and the ref sees it! Seriously? That’s the PPV finish? A good match ruined by its ending. It’s endings like this that led to people not purchasing the B-tier PPVs anymore. Angle and Cena brawl some more afterwards.

Unforgiven 05 is a weird show as nothing was really bad on this show and there was some greatness…but none of it really mattered at all. Chris Masters? Midcarder a year later and unemployed the year after that. Matt Hardy? Ranged from upper midcard to midcard hell for a while until his brother overshadowed him again. He never got over the break-up with Lita. The finish to Angle-Cena just extended the storyline. I barely remember the rest of the show and I just watched it.

A good effort for all involved. For the great match and no bad matches this was in B territory…but you can’t have your main event end like that.

Final Grade: C+

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Great American Bash 2004

GreatAmericanBash2004

The Great American Bash 2004
June 27, 2004
Norfolk, VA
Reviewed on March 13, 2014

Background: Smackdown in 2004 is a strange time. Ever since the Brand Extension, Smackdown had some of the best wrestling in the world and was a critically acclaimed show. Suddenly though, Brock Lesnar was gone, Chris Benoit and Edge were on RAW and Kurt Angle and Big Show were injured. There were definitely guys who could step up and main event with WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero…but the one WWE went with was totally unexpected and the decision was panned at the time. (And still kinda is, even if I did become a big fan of JBL, his reign was not good business wise). The misuse of Rob Van Dam and Booker T just made no sense here…as did the idea to not keep Edge on Smackdown.

You’ve gotta feel bad for Guerrero. This was the classic set up to fails scenario. Smackdown was not going to succeed with him on top with the lack of star power on the brand no matter how good he was, and evidence in his book you can see that the pressure to succeed as champion was really tough on him.

Another point to note is that we do see the continued emergence of John Cena here as well.

We’ll talk about The Undertaker when we get there.

The Card

Torrie Wilson is our host I guess?

Opening video does make this card seem a lot better than it is.

WWE US Championship: Four-way Elimination
John Cena© vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

One of these is not like the other.

I think this is an outright strange choice for a match considering the lack of star power on the roster…and how other matches on this card would suffer.

Also, Booker T and RVD needed to be used better than half of a US title match.

This was also still Thuganomics John Cena.

Man RVD gets no crowd reaction. How do you ruin Rob Van Dam? For the record, RVD getting injured later in the year was a blessing for him, as it allowed him to have a hot comeback with ECW.

Booker and RVD were feuding here, kinda. It led to the worst finish in Smackdown history, as Booker was DQed for punching RVD when he was in the ropes.

Rene Dupree does have big heat on him being French here.

Dupree has a headlock on RVD while Booker T is just hanging outside. Cena is standing around too. While it actually makes sense for Booker and Cena…it doesn’t make a good match.

Now Cena vs. RVD with Booker and Dupree standing outside. Who decided it was a good idea to structure the match this way?

THE FRENCH TICKLER. The only thing Rene Dupree did that was memorable.

Cena rolls up RVD for the pin to eliminate him. Wow, Dupree lasted longer than RVD.

Booker pins Dupree after Cena FUs him. Cena vs. Booker left, and since they would go this direction, it makes sense.

John Cena retains when he pinned Booker in 15:52. Booker misses a Scissors Kick and Cena gets the FU for the pin. There’s nothing really wrong with this match, but it is a shame to see RVD flat out wasted here.

Kurt Angle admonishes Charlie Haas. He’s disappointed in him as he was his protégé but now he has a better one in Luther Reigns. He sets up this impromptu match.

Sable promo about how she looks better than Torrie Wilson. Depends on your preference I guess. I’d take Torrie.

Charlie Haas vs. Luther Reigns

People just don’t care about Luther Reigns. That wouldn’t ever change either. Unfortunately, people didn’t care about Charlie Haas post World’s Greatest Tag Team either…but that’s actually a bit of a shame. Anyway fans boo the early offense of Reigns.

Haas clearly misses a dropkick but Reigns sells it by stumbling back anyway.

Nice suplex from Charlie Haas there.

Luther Reigns pins Charlie Haas in 7:11. Reigns hits the Roll of the Dice (CrossRhodes, whatever) for the win. Absolutely nothing wrong with this match either, in fact I thought Haas looked good as a babyface in peril. Too bad he never got the chance Shelton Benjamin got post draft (remember, Benjamin went over HHH right away). Fans really couldn’t give a crap about either guy though. Still, not really a bad match as really it was just boring.

JBL promo! I did think it was weird that JBL went all New York City but then brought back the Texas Bullrope Match.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Rey Mysterio © vs. Chavo Guerrero

Three problems with the idea of this match before it begins.

#1. Chavo just got finished jobbing the title to Jacqueline in a program I’ll never understand. Sure screwed the prestige of the title though.

#2. Rey Mysterio and Chavo have probably wrestled tons of times at this point. On PPV they only had one match so far (in WWE at least) at No Way Out 2004. This wasn’t a hot feud, but really moreso they had nothing planned for either so just keep cruiserweight titling it away!

#3. Rey Mysterio is a perfect example of someone where if put in a better spot, could have helped this show a lot. Really couldn’t run an Eddie vs. Rey for the title program?

The standard fast paced chain wrestling and springboard counters start the match. Revolutionary in the US in 1996 surely, but not in 2004.

Chavo dropkicks Rey off the top rope, very Jericho like.

Story of the match is for Chavo to work the knee.

This match is all mat based, which is okay I guess. I think the problem is this is Chavo’s best style…but he’s nowhere near as good as Benoit, Eddie or Jericho, who were all in the promotion at the time.

Weird double facebuster off the top rope.

I actually like the Gory Guerrero Bomb. It’s a cool move.

West Coast Pop into a half-crab was nice.

Rey Mysterio retains when he pins Chavo in 19:40. Chavo goes for another Gory Bomb, but gets caught in that awesome sunset flip for the three. This is a good match where Rey really sold the knee well. The issue is, most people watch Rey Mysterio for high flying stuff, and the story of the match had little high flying due to the knee. But it was still good.

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn

Attitude vs. new school! Kenzo’s never been pinned or been made to submit yet.

2003 was the last gasp to try to make Billy Gunn a top guy, but he floundered. By this point, the Mr. Ass run was on its last legs.

Kenzo was always just really awkward in the ring. That’s the best way I can describe him. His selling is strange too, very one second he’s selling the next he’s not (as evidenced by a Billy Gunn boot to the face).

Three of the eight minutes of this match was spent in a resthold. Pretty bad. Fans hate it.

The way Suzuki telegraphs moves actually reminds me of The Great Khali. Take from that what you’d like.

Shining Wizard gets two. First exciting thing in the match.

Kenzo Suzuki pinned Billy Gunn in 8:06. Kenzo botches a reverse DDT into his knee…and that gets three? Isn’t that one of Christian’s secondary moves? Why not just use the Shining Wizard? Anyway, match was boring and bad. Nothing happened and the finish was botched. No surprise Kenzo only lasted a year.

Paul Heyman and Paul Bearer in the back. Heyman is mad that everyone thinks he’s bluffing about putting Bearer in the Concrete Crypt. Bearer’s facial expressions own here.

Sable vs. Torrie Wilson

Battle of Playboy covers here.

Cole says the Great American Bash is used to matches like Dean Malenko vs. Arn Anderson. Just had to point that out eh Cole?

Nice neck snap from Sable! I didn’t expect that.

They follow with botching a rollup. But whatever.

Match has slowed to a crawl with the self-chinlock.

Horrible floatover suplex. Sable landed with her feet somehow, and Torrie didn’t complete the floatover.

They both knock heads and are down!

Sable pins Torrie Wilson in 6:06. Horrible botched finish here. Torrie gets up from the bumped heads spot, but Sable doesn’t. They go with the “Torrie wants to pin Sable but the ref says back up I need to make sure Sable is okay” finish (which never makes any sense. She’s not supposed to be okay, which is why Torrie should go for the pin!). Then a surprise roll-up from Sable…but somehow she goes too far so Torrie’s shoulder is WAY off the canvas, but the ref counts three anyway. Horrible. Awful match. It was so bad they had to talk about the finish on commentary.

Best interview ever with Rene Dupree. It’s because of what Dawn Marie is not wearing. Nunzio gets involved and is a bit funny here too. The FBI own Dupree.

Hardcore Holly vs. Mordecai

New school vs. Attitude era part two!

The story for this match was funny. Hardcore Holly and Moredcai were just found brawling last Thursday, and here we are. For the record, the past three matches were all made three nights ago, and Haas vs. Reigns was made this night.

Here is someone who just doesn’t look like he knows what he’s doing in the ring. Just sloppy all around.

Long headlock here.

I think a neckbreaker was supposed to happen, but somehow Mordecai and Holly bang heads. I think it was off Mordecai jumping way too high on a stun gun.

Mordecai pins Hardcore Holly in 6:31. Alabama Slam reversed into the Crucifix Bomb for the win. Match was boring, one spot was botched. I guess not as bad as the previous two matches, but not good either. It was bad enough that despite being undefeated and getting a win on PPV, we never saw Mordecai again as he was sent to OVW. He wasn’t good as Kevin Thorn. I actually liked the gimmick…but it didn’t work.

WWE Championship: Texas Bullrope Match
Eddie Guerrero© vs. JBL

Touching the four corners rules in effect.

The cowbell is a weird weapon.

A lot of choking with the rope early on.

Eddie dropkicks JBL into the corner and it’s JBL’s second corner. Establishing this actually makes sense for later.

Big chairshot busts JBL wide open. Good story as it’s revenge for what happened at Judgment Day 04.

Another chairshot to the head. Was this the first time Bradshaw ever bled? I don’t remember him doing so as a member of the APA.

Eddie’s corner lights stop working. Weird.

Eddie hits a frog splash! Eddie has dominated this match. JBL rolls out of the ring, which is a genius move here as Eddie can’t reach the corner now.

JBL uses the rope as a noose and sends Eddie from the corner onto the announce table (which didn’t break)! Nice spot though.

Powerbomb through the table by JBL!

JBL wins the WWE Title in 21:06. After some near JBL wins, Eddie beats the crap out of him with the cowbell. Eddie then goes to touch the corners, but JBL follows and touches the first three behind Eddie. (JBL’s first light doesn’t work. Nice job WWE). JBL then gets the advantage as he pulls Eddie and goes for the fourth corner. Eddie does a dive at the corner and gets it, splashing JBL in the corner in the process! Eddie retains….but no, Kurt Angle points out that JBL’s shoulder hit first and he wins the title. Dusty Finish aside, the match is pretty good. Probably the best of JBL’s career.

Concrete Crypt Match
The Undertaker vs. The Dudley Boyz

Your main event! You know this is a bad idea when I’m hating an Undertaker match.

Story here: Taker returned all dead…but there were no top heels on Smackdown for him to face (my theory on why we got JBL). He kinda buried Booker in May. So, Heyman became that top heel, and challenged the Dudleyz to make a difference or get tough or something. Dudleyz abducted Paul Bearer and Heyman used that to control the Undertaker in what would have been an awesome heel turn (and opponent for Guerrero). Nonetheless, here we are. If Taker doesn’t do the right thing (lose?) Bearer gets entombed in cement. What’s the point of the Dudleyz winning then? I don’t know. Why is this the main event? I don’t know. I love the Undertaker, but Eddie vs. JBL needed to be main eventing.

It’s not a feather in the Dudleyz cap if Taker lays down for them…since they really wouldn’t be beating him you know.

So far anytime Taker is owning the match, Heyman threatens to bury Bearer.

Heyman eventually has enough and does it, but Bubba Ray Dudley begs him to stop because he wants to finish off the Undertaker.

Now it’s all Dudleyz. But since the outcome is in little doubt, it’s pretty damn boring.

All the mic work is being down by Bubba. I never realized it, but I bet this was a chance to see if Bubba Ray Dudley could be a top guy. The answer is no by the way. (At least in 2004, Bully Ray is pretty cool in TNA).

Michael Cole actually calls the inverted double neckbreaker as the double team. Just lol.

The Undertaker defeats the Dudley Boyz when he pinned D-Von in 14:42. Tombstone for the win. Ok, so Taker shoots a lightning bolt at Heyman when Heyman tries to finish off Bearer (where was that shit earlier Undertaker?), then gets to Bearer. Instead of saving him though, he tells him it has to be this way and finishes the job. It’s like writers were so happy to get the old school Undertaker back, so they decided to write an angle for him, forgetting the fact that it’s 2004 and not 1994. Anyway, match is a disjointed mess and made no sense. I would have assumed this to be the main event of a WCW 2000 PPV. Why couldn’t we just run Eddie vs. Taker in the summer?

Anyway, this PPV has some good moments but kinda sucks when you put it all together. Only one really good match (JBL! And Eddie of course). One good match that was missing something (Rey-Chavo) Everything else ranges from decent (US title) to borderline ok (Reigns-Haas) to terrible and bad. Historically it became a running joke that the Great American Bash was the worst PPV of the year. The JBL title reign wasn’t exactly a draw, but it was surprisingly entertaining. This wasn’t a heel turn for Undertaker, just an explanation to get away from Bearer (and a dumb one), nevermind that it seemed to imply that Taker killed Bearer. This would be a C or C+ in normal circumstances, but for the crap it’s gotta be a bit lower. I do think it’s overall better than December to Dismember though…and actually it was a lot better than I remember it.

Final Grade: C-

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWF In Your House V: Season’s Beatings

Wwf_In_Your_House_5--cdcovers_cc--front

WWF In Your House 5: Seasons Beatings
December 17, 1995
Hershey, Pennsylvania
Reviewed on February 6, 2015

The War is under way.

With WCW breathing down their throats, the WWF looked to change course. Diesel dropped the WWF Champion to Bret Hart, with the ultimate plan to get the belt to Shawn Michaels. A solid plan, but it wouldn’t remotely be enough.

The WWF also looked to end some experiments here. King Mabel’s reign of terror looked to be just about over here. Gimmicks like Dean Douglas were also on its last legs. The WWF looked to be trying to go with edgier characters, such as Sycho Sid and Goldust.

Really, right now the WWF is just trying to get to Wrestlemania.

The Card

The opening promo hypes up the Bret vs. Bulldog title match, still pointing out how, never in a 1 v. 1 match, had Bret ever beaten the Bulldog. Of course, they call back to Summerslam ’92.

1-2-3 Kid and Sycho Sid vs. Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty

The Kid recently joined the Million Dollar Corporation after turning on Razor Ramon in a match against Sid. Marty Jannetty’s comeback has kinda been considered a big deal, so I guess he fits as a partner here. Sid did cost Jannetty a Survivor Series match against the Kid last month as well.

Goldust is at ringside and he obviously has his eye on Razor.

Good storytelling early on, as Jannetty tries to get Razor in there against the Kid, but the Kid keeps running away.

We get sidetracked by a mid-match Goldust promo, to which he seems to be attracted to Razor Ramon.

Unfortunately the match went downhill…no one seems to care about Jannetty. All the heat is with Ramon.

Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty win when Ramon pins Sid in 12:20. Ramon hits a second rope bulldog for the win. Fun start, but match cooled off when Jannetty was the face in peril. Still, a good enough opener.

The ring announcer tries to set up the next match, but Jerry Lawler stops him. It looked like the ring announcer messed up, as he was announcing Buddy Landell, who had to be introduced by Dean Douglas anyway.

Lawler announces that Jeff Jarrett is back! He’d be back for like 8 weeks. Lawler presents a Gold Album to him. Jarrett also enters the Royal Rumble…which I feel like he wasn’t in for some reason. What a waste of PPV space this is. Jarrett joins the commentary team.

Dean Douglas is hurt, but no worries, his pupil will take over for this match.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Buddy Landell

Landell is the homeless man’s Flair here. This is an inside joke of course, since Douglas hates Flair. So Landell is Douglas’ student here. Landell even uses Flair’s old WWF music.

Ahmed Johnson made a splash at Survivor Series by bodyslamming Yokozuna. What was wrong with an Ahmed vs. Yoko match here?

Ahmed Johnson pins Buddy Landell in 0:45. Pearl River Plunge in 40 seconds. Not sure what this was supposed to accomplish, but sure why not. I think this is the last of Dean Douglas.

Lawler and Jarrett mock Ahmed, then Lawler tries to interview him. This sets up Jarrett vs. Ahmed for the future when Jarrett smashes the gold CD over Ahmed’s head. Ahmed does make his comeback and goes after Jarrett.

Razor Ramon interview. He’s defending the IC title against Yoko on RAW He receives the telegram from Goldust here, which seems like some sort of poem.

Hogpen Match
Henry O. Godwinn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Hillbilly Jim is your referee!

I think to win you have to dump your opponent in the pigpen.

Henry tries to slop Hunter, but Hunter moves and Henry gets an official.

I mean, if you ignore the gimmick this isn’t too bad.

HHH with a great counter to the Slop Drop…he holds the guardrail and HOG crashes to the floor. HOG would get him a few minutes later though.

HHH wins in 8:58. Henry runs at HHH, and HHH backdrops him over into the pen for the win. Jim and Henry would get HHH in the pen anyway. Whatever to all of this. Its amazing HHH survived all of this get to the very top four years later. HHH would feud withDuke “The Dumpster” Droese next, so things weren’t really looking up.

Diesel vs. Owen Hart

Diesle had begun turning, but he still was on Shawn Michaels’ side, and Owen had taken him out a few weeks prior. So, he’s out for revenge.

This is a weird match as they cram in a 12 minute match in 5 minutes total.

Owen Hart wins by DQ in 4:34. Poor Owen gets destroyed and Jackknife Powerbombed. Diesel puts his foot on the chest, but takes it back at 2. He then shoves the referee to draw the DQ, then hits a 2nd Jackknife. This was to add edge to Diesel, who would be a heel soon enough. Poor Owen really didn’t need to get killed that way, did he though?

Ted Dibiase introduces us to Xanta Claus, the future Balls Mahoney. It’s almost like we could have had another match in there somewhere. Anyway Savio Vega gets involved and gets beat down by Xanta before making a comeback. Whatever.

Casket Match
The Undertaker vs. King Mabel

The conclusion of the Mabel-Taker storyline. During Mabel’s reign of terror he broke Taker’s face with a legdrop. He also (horrifically) beat him at King of the Ring ’95. Taker came back with the Phantom of the Opera mask at Survivor Series and ripped through Mabel’s team before Mabel ran. So here we are.

Yes, that is Jeff Hardy struggling to carry Mabel.

I have no idea why, but this match has a special place in my heart. It’s such a stereotypical early 90s Undertaker match, and really the last one.

Here’s the match. Mabel is shocked Taker rises up a couple of times. Mabel hits a fat guy move (belly to belly, splash) and Taker is done. They fail to close the lid on the casket. Taker comes back and destroys Mabel and wins.

Undertaker wins in 6:11. He gets the urn back too. There were a couple of more appearances, but for all intents and purposes this was the end of the King Mabel experiment. And what a failure it was. Taker afterwards calls for the WWF Title. Well it’s about time. 1995 was a real waste for the Undertaker. His PPV opponents were IRS, King Kong Bundy, Mabel and Kama. Yikes.

WWF Championship
Bret Hart© vs. The British Bulldog

The only way that they can push the Bulldog as a realistic threat here is to continually refer to Summerslam ’92.

Early on the Bulldog knocks down Earl Hebner, then helps him up. That’s not really playing a good heel there Davey.

Bret Hart had a crazy good piledriver.

Awesome superplex counter from the Bulldog as he crotches Bret on the top rope, then comes down with a top rope stomp!

Bulldog sends Bret into the steps, and Bret “accidentally” bleeds. Bret admitted he did this purposely to make this match mean more. The WWF had a no blood policy at the time. You can hear Vince is clearly taken about on commentary.

Vince points out how we don’t need any close-ups as well.

Bow and Arrow from the Bulldog…and Bret almost turns that into the Sharpshooter. Bret always found creative Sharpshooter spots.

Bret with the odd Vader Bomb type move on the outside, which is caught by the Bulldog. Running Powerslam on the floor!

The floor Running Powerslam is oddly no selled. But whatever, this match is picking up!

Bret Hart retains by pin in 21:09. Bret rolls the Bulldog up in La Majastral, and gets the win. Chris Jericho taught Bret that for this finish! Anyway, great main event that at least made something out of this show. The blood sure as hell helped as well.

We get one more In Your House extra, as we get a staredown between Diesel and The Undertaker after Taker is declared the #1 Contender for Bret’s title.

Total nothing show here, but at least it was building for the future. Ramon vs. Goldust was set-up. Diesel vs. Taker was set-up. Bret and the Bulldog had a great main event. That’s enough for a C at least. Can’t give it more because well, hogpen matches, Buddy Landell and King Mabel can’t really be half your show here. And Diesel really didn’t need to squash Owen Hart.

Final Grade: C

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWF Wrestlemania II

WrestleMania2

WWF Wrestlemania 2
April 7, 1986
Uniondale, NY
Rosemont, IL
Los Angeles, CA
Reviewed on March 15, 2014

Background: HULKAMANIA was running wild brother! In an attempt to make the 2nd Wrestlemania bigger than the 1st, Vince McMahon decided this would be the first one on PPV. Also, for attendance, this would be held in three different venues, which I’m curious to see what the thinking would be there. This had tons of celebrities as well. Weird fact as well: this was held on a Monday.

The three main events? Piper vs. Mr. T in a Boxing Match, a 20 Man Battle Royal and Hogan vs. Bundy in a Cage. That’s Piper, Andre and Hogan, so it makes sense.

The Card

Opening has a sax solo. I believe the sax was the instrument of the 80s, but I don’t really know.

Vince’s co-host is Susan St. James. No idea who that is. Ray Charles for America the Beautiful works though.

Piper interview! Pretty racist promo.

We start off in New York.

”Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff vs. “Magnificent” Muraco

Old wrestling makes me miss entrance themes.

Don’t know the whole story, but Orndorff turned face and sided with Hogan, and Muraco was on Bundy’s side. I think.

Orndorff with some good wrestling to start.

Double countout in 4:10. Muraco and Orndorff fight to a double countout. Fans chant bullshit! No idea fans had that in them in 1986! I don’t blame them, that was stupid, especially since Orndorff would have a Hogan feud later.

Mr. T promo. Speaks really quickly.

Intercontinental Championship
Randy Savage© vs. George “The Animal” Steele

Story is simple: The Animal liked Elizabeth, Savage was jealous. Worked out well.

Animal bites Savage! St. James says “Yeah Animal, eat his leg!”

A lot of biting in this match.

Macho Man slams the Animal with a bouquet of flowers. Where’s the DQ?!

The Animal has eaten the turnbuckle! Did people really think this was real?

The Animal kicks out of the flying elbow!

Randy Savage retains by pin in 5:10. Savage takes down the Animal and gets his feet on the ropes for the pin. Match was horrible, but this was the George The Animal Steele character afterall. 2nd turnbuckle gets eaten.

Off in Chicago, NFL star Bill Fralic and Big John Studd argue.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

This feels like a jobber match.

Vince says Wells is Jake’s biggest challenge so far. So, easy road for Jake so far.

Jake was one of the great workers in wrestling right up until Honky Tonk Man almost crippled him.

Jake Roberts pins George Wells in 3:15. DDT out of nowhere. DAMIEN! Match was nothing.

Hogan promo! He’s with his “buddy” Jesse Ventura.

Ring announcer is Joan Rivers.

Darryl Dawkins is a judge. Bunch of other celebs I don’t care about.

Boxing Match
Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

Oh god this can possibly go 10 rounds.

They got Joe Frazier for this.

If Mr. T is from Chicago, why didn’t they run this one for the Chicago main event?

Round 1 ends with a lot of punching. You know this is WRESTLEmania. Jeez.

I feel like the amount punches landing in round 2 doesn’t actually happen in real boxing.

Piper knocks down T and the crowd erupts.

Crowd heavily behind Piper now. He’s the heel, so that should show how well this match is doing.

Cowboy Bob Orton throws water at T.

Round 3 is all T. T even hits a shot where Piper goes flying out of the ring.

Round 4 starts with a wrestling-style slugfest. No blocking whatsoever.

Mr. T wins by DQ in 13:15. Piper slugs the ref then bodyslams T for the DQ. While it’s kinda entertaining, I still would have preferred a wrestling match at Wrestlemania, you know? I know it’s 1986, but that’s still a pretty lame show for the Uniondale crowd.

Off to the Chicago portion of the show. We have Gorilla Monsoon and Cathy Lee Crosby as your announcers!

Women’s Championship
The Fabulous Moolah © vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is the Hogan of women’s wrestling, and that stretches to the backstage politic part of wrestling too.

McIntyre is owning in a fast paced match early on!

The Fabulous Moolah retains the title when she pinned McIntyre in 1:25. McIntyre misses a crossbody…and Moolah with the pin. Well that sucked. Especially since McIntyre looked like she could really go.

Flag Match
Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Russian National Anthem! Gotta love the xenophobic fears of the WWF.

I believe the rules here is that the winner gets to wave his flag.

Kirchner is busted wide open…but that was obvious when they CLEARLY showed Volkoff cut him.

Corporal Kirchner pinned Nikolai Volkoff in 2:05. Freddie Blassie throws his cane in the ring…but Kirchner catches it and nails Volkoff for the win. It was so badly done that Monsoon thought it was a double cross. A lot of wasteful matches here.

20 Man Battle Royal: NFL vs. WWF

Some notable names: Andre, Bruno, Iron Sheik, Morales, very young Bret Hart. On the NFL side the only notable one is The Fridge. Seems like an Andre vs. Fridge finish makes the most sense, but that isn’t what happens here.

King Tonga, aka Meng is one of the first guys out.

Seeing Bruno in this makes me wonder why they didn’t ever run a Hogan vs. Bruno program.

Studd gets the last laugh eliminating Fralic.

Studd dumps Bruno too.

Bret and The Anvil oversell near eliminations from the Fridge, but then Studd takes him out.

Fridge calls for a handshake…and pulls Studd out!

Andre, NFLer Russ Francis, Bret and Neidhart.

Harts take out Francis. Harts vs. Andre.

Andre the Giant wins in 9:09, last eliminating Bret Hart. Andre kicks the Anvil and he oversells and goes flying over. Andre presses Bret over his head and tosses him onto the Anvil. According to Bret, he suggested this finish to Andre after Andre had a different idea, to the shock of the locker room (no one ever suggested changes to Andre). But, Andre went for it. Pretty bad match overall though, but again, this match really isn’t about the wrestling.

Piper interview with Vince. Piper said he was ready for a fight and that T cheated.

World Tag Team Championship
The Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) © vs. The British Bulldogs

Ozzy Osbourne is out here as well.

Easily the best match of the night so far and we are only 3 minutes in.

Davey’s hanging vertical suplex is always impressive, but moreso back then.

Great teamwork from the Bulldogs. Unsurprisingly.

That piledriver from Valentine to Dynamite looks like it clearly hit Dynamite’s head.

The British Bulldogs win the title when Dynamite pins Valentine in 13:03. Finish comes out of nowhere. Dynamite whips Valentine into the corner but Davey was on the ropes. Davey takes a plunge to the floor, but Valentine knocked heads with Davey so goes down for the pin. Interesting thing about this match. It’s clear that the purpose was to showcase the Bulldogs. The Bulldogs dominated Valentine the whole time (because you can’t trust Beefcake to make anyone look good). It’s a good match, but nothing special or anything.

Time to head to LA.

Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. What a cast of characters.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

There’s a huge difference of talent here.

A lot of armdrags here.

Ricky Steamboat pins Hercules Hernandez in 7:19. Steamboat wins with a top rope bodypress. Nothing really to say about the match. Hercules controlled most and slipped on a banana peel when Steamboat got his legs up on a top rope move.

Adorable Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Crowd actually chants faggot at Adonis. How far we’ve come. I think.

Elmer somehow falls after throwing a punch.

Adonis is overselling everywhere.

Adrian Adonis pinned Uncle Elmer in 3:00. Elmer misses a legdrop. Adonis comes off the top with a splash for the win. Terrible, but you can tell Adonis tried with his selling.

I feel like the Adorable Adrian Adonis character is a shot at the original Gorgeous George.

Hogan promo brother!

Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana vs. Terry and Hoss Funk

For some reason Dory Funk Jr. is named Hoss Funk.

Terry Funk always does weird things in the ring…but intentionally. Like things that would happen naturally in the ring that would add legitimacy to it (like tripping on Santana’s feet and almost going over the top rope here).

Terry’s great here. Awesome save from Funk.

Really great hot tag sequence to JYD. Santana tries to get by Funk and eventually does so.

Funk takes an over the top rope backdrop. Wow.

Terry gets slammed on a table. What? This is 1986!

Terry and Hoss Funk when Terry pins JYD in 11:33. Jimmy Hart throws in the megaphone! Terry nails JYD and gets the win. Pretty fun brawl! Terry Funk was great. Another bullshit chant. Although I guess its LA’s first.

Here comes the cage.

We get 5 minutes of Hogan working out. Great.

Now we have a Bobby Heenan and King Kong Bundy interview.

WWF Championship: Steel Cage Match
Hulk Hogan© vs. King Kong Bundy

Story is simple. Bundy avalanched Hogan three times, injuring his ribs. This is Hogan’s revenge.

Hogan’s ribs are taped here.

Bundy works the ribs and he rips the tape off (which Elvira calls as “he’s taking off more clothes! Oh it’s his belt”).

Another on camera blade. Not trying are we cameramen? Anyway Bundy is busted open.

Hogan survives an Avalanche!

Hulk Hogan wins in 10:11. Hogan outright no sells a second avalanche. Big slam. Legdrop. Escape for the win. Well, that’s classic Hogan for you I guess. It was pretty much a main event squash of Bundy. Hogan beats the crap out of Heenan afterwards. Seems underwhelming for a Wrestlemania main event…but that’s of course hindsight as this was only the 2nd Wrestlemania. Commentary was pretty bad there too, although hilariously so.

You know Vince didn’t like this show. That’s why he threw everything at Andre vs. Hogan for Mania III. The idea of expanding to three venues was weird. I don’t think Bundy was nearly a big enough name to headline Mania. Some finishes were lame (opening match double countout? Come on). Hogan vs. Bundy was underwhelming. Kudos to Vince for trying new things, but Wrestlemania 2 is largely forgettable. Heck I don’t remember half the show and I just watched it. No surprise that 70K less people bought this show.

The plus side: The Bulldogs match was nice, and the Funks weren’t that bad either…and I guess Hogan doing his thing was still a big deal in 1986.

Final Grade: C

Pro Wrestling

Ranting About What the Hell Happened At the 2015 Royal Rumble

Does WWE hate their audience?

               I seriously don’t get it.

               How does it make any sense to put Roman Reigns over in the Royal Rumble?

           This isn’t the same thing as 2003 Triple H and his reign of terror over the RAW roster. Whether fans liked it or didn’t, HHH was an established top guy. There was logic there.

            This isn’t the same thing even as HHH beating CM Punk during the Summer of Punk (although that was pretty bad anyway).

         This isn’t even the same thing as last year’s Royal Rumble, where Batista infamously won the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan, the clear crowd favorite, wasn’t even in the match. At least you can argue Batista being the returning star with a movie and all.

     This is, for all intents of purposes, outright ignoring your audience. There’s no argument here. There’s just no way could anyone think, at the moment of the 2015 Royal Rumble, that Roman Reigns going over was the way to go. Nothing has led to a point where this would be a remotely good idea. Let’s be clear though, there is money in Roman Reigns…he’s just not READY yet. And there is someone who is more than ready. Someone who is perhaps the most popular wrestler since Stone Cold and The Rock. That person is Daniel Bryan. He is practically a license to print money. The fans CLEARLY want him up top. I mean 2014 pretty much showed that Daniel Bryan should be the future of this company if he was healthy. Even if he isn’t healthy for the long term that’s fine. Let him be the top guy when Roman gets ready. Roman Reigns could be, and if he improves should be the face of Wrestlemania 32. Reigns’ 2015 should be similar to John Cena’s 2004.

     Let’s talk about the Rumble match itself. When Daniel Bryan came in at #10 I was sold that he was winning. When he starting doing all of his risky moves, I was sold he was winning. Obviously Bryan, the former World Champion who never lost the belt, who made a big retirement tease to come back and enter the Rumble, who is the MOST POPULAR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER IN THE WORLD, was going to be there at the end. It seemed logical that Bryan being #10 meant he was going to be in there in the long run. And if WWE thought he had a long match in him, that could only be a positive thing.

 Daniel Bryan lasted only 10 minutes and 11 seconds. He was eliminated in such a boring manner as well, just being knocked off the apron by Bray Wyatt. It’s gotta be one of the most surprising moments I’ve ever seen as a wrestling fan. If Bryan wasn’t winning, I still fully expected him in the final four. I mean why wouldn’t we? HE’S THE MOST POPULAR WRESTLER IN THE PROMOTION! HE IS THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION WHO DIDN’T LOSE THE TITLE IN THE RING! I mean what the hell?

      The Royal Rumble was dead at that moment. It’s a shame because it was quite fun up until that point. Still…there was hope. Dean Ambrose or Dolph Ziggler. The fans could buy one of those two. Especially Ziggler. But two men were set to ruin that.

              Look. It’s 2015. Enough with the Big Show and Kane. I’m sorry but we have to move on at some point. I wrote on a message board last year that WWE has to move on and stop with all the part timers. The time has passed. It really has. Kane debuted in 1997 and Glenn Jacobs actually start in 1995. That’s 20 years! Big Show debuted in 1999. Enough! How are we ever going to truly care about this generation and future generations when we can’t get past the Kane and Big Shows of the world? I can understand The Undertaker. I can understand The Rock and Triple H. Those three need to stop too, but at least they were the cream of the crop. But we need to move on. The wrestling business needs to move on. It just has to. I mean there’s more time between Kane’s debut and today than Hulk Hogan’s first World Title and his DEPARTURE from WCW. That’s insane. In no way should I be seeing The Rock beat up Big Show and Kane on a Pay-Per-View in 2015. Those three were in the final four of the Royal Rumble FIFTEEN YEARS ago.

   Let’s talk about our winner. Roman Reigns. Now, I have no problem with Reigns, and as recently as Summerslam I was all for him getting a push. I’m still for him getting a push. He’s got a great look. I can see him becoming a great promo guy (despite the comedy we have now). He should be feuding with the likes of Luke Harper, Bad News Barrett, Cesaro and all of those guys for the IC Title in the next 10 months. Instead he’s jackhammered down our throats. It’s crazy. It’s one thing to force someone down our throats. But at least some fans take to it. Lex Luger still got cheered in 1993 (and when he got booed at the Rumble, Bret Hart got the belt). Diesel was still cheered in 1995. No one is cheering Roman Reigns. No one!

          If you have to get The Rock to help you not get booed out of the building and you still get booed, you shouldn’t be in the main event of Wrestlemania.

          If you cause the fans to cheer for a guy whose gimmick is that he worships Vladimir Putin, you shouldn’t be in the main event of Wrestlemania.

         I don’t get it. Anyone watching the Royal Rumble. From a neutral standpoint. Tell me how Roman Reigns was a better choice than Daniel Bryan. Because I don’t get it. I just don’t.

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews the WWE 2003 Royal Rumble

Royal_Rumble_2003

WWE Royal Rumble 2003
January 19, 2003
Boston, MA

The Brand Extension is in full force.

The WWE has established their monopoly of pro wrestling in the United States at this point (TNA was still pretty new…although they’d never be a real threat anyway). Vince McMahon decided he needed to instill competition into the product and the Brand Extension was born. The Brand Extension allowed WWE to push new talent, although it would be shown a lot of them weren’t ready for the challenge.

One of them that looked more than ready was Brock Lesnar. Lesnar, who just dropped the WWE Title at Survivor Series was on his way to the massive face push that would make him the WWE’s top guy (Lesnar would be the Hogan on Smackdown, where HHH would be the Flair on RAW). In a post Austin and full time Rock world, WWE needed to create some megastars on top in the babyface mold. HHH showed he was a lot better off as a heel. Undertaker would never fit that mold. Austin was gone, Rock was basically gone. Goldberg wasn’t here yet. Angle was a heel at the time (although he got a shot at the face run later) and Benoit would never have the charisma to be that guy, although he got a shot later.

Still, the early days of Brand Extension provided interesting content on both sides for sure. Returning legends (HBK, Hogan, Flair), guys way too talented not to be in the main event but somehow not in it (Jericho, Benoit, Booker T), top guys who weren’t ready to leave the top (Taker, HHH) and top newcomers (Lesnar) were just some of the elements out there. I mean in that group I didn’t even mention Angle or Big Show.

Let’s see how the first Brand Extension Royal Rumble plays out.

The Card

Winner Gets in the Royal Rumble
Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Story here: Lesnar dropped the WWE Title (and was pinned for the first time) to Big Show at Survivor Series when Paul Heyman turned on him. In actuality two things caused that change: Lesnar had injured ribs that WWE wasn’t sure of the extent of, and WWE was planning Lesnar vs. Angle at Mania and decided to switch the face/heel alignments, so had to make Lesnar a face. Of course, face Angle had to beat heel Big Show for the belt, which led to a weird Angle heel turn, but I guess that was the best way to make this happen. Angle would JOIN Heyman afterwards, and for some reason this didn’t turn Big Show face.

Back to the story, Lesnar then cost Big Show the title at Armageddon against Angle. So we got this match. I’m usually not a big fan of these type matches, as for a storyline like this it’s obvious Lesnar is winning this match AND the Rumble. There was one other option for the Rumble winner, which I’ll get into when we get there.

The way Lesnar would just suplex Big Show all over the place was ridiculous.

The way Show would throw Lesnar around was also ridiculous. While he obviously could, no one else did anything like that to Brock up to this point.

Big Show does a great, if not hilarious shocked face when Lesnar kicks out of the chokeslam.

Brock Lesnar pins Big Show in 6:29. Lesnar escapes a 2nd chokeslam attempt, and gets the F5! That’s so damn impressive and the crowd pops huge. Lesnar gets the pin and is in the Rumble. Good match, if only for how smooth Lesnar is in throwing around Big Show. These two had a strange chemistry.

Terri interviews Chris Jericho. She asks him about Jericho choosing #2 when he had the choice to pick any number. Jericho says because HBK was #1 Jericho HAD to be #2. This was setting up the Jericho-HBK feud.

Jericho sure got A LOT of mileage out of beating Austin and Rock the same night to become Undisputed Champion (as he should have).

RAW World Tag Team Championship
William Regal and Lance Storm vs. The Dudley Boyz

This would be the third Rumble in a row that the Dudleyz were in the World Tag Title slot. They are already 15 Time World Tag Team Champions at this point.

Regal and Storm were what was left of the UnAmericans. Test started being advertised by male genitalia. Christian became Jericho’s sidekick.

Regal still had the brass knuckles gimmick going at this point as well.

The Dudleyz actually weren’t stale here, as they were split up throughout most of 2002 due to the Brand Extension (that led to Reverend D-Von!). D-Von was part of the Big Show to Smackdown trade and immediately rejoined Bubba at Survivor Series.

One of the problems with the Dudley reunion was they didn’t change anything up at all. They literally acted like the same team they always did, moves and all.

Chief Morley comes out to argue about something, and Regal has Brass Knucks!

The Dudley Boyz wins the title when D-Von pinned Storm in 7:24. Regal has the Knucks…but gets the 3D anyway. D-Von picks up the knucks and nails Storm for the win. A good pop for the Dudley title win. This is a waste of Storm and Regal though. Match wasn’t anything special and pretty boring.

Nathan Jones promo! He escaped from prison in Tasmania! It’s like Nailz all over again.

Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Oh god. This storyline was Wrestlecrap from the get go. Dawn Marie fell in love with Torrie Wilson’s father, Al Wilson. This at first seemed like an attempt to have a fling with Torrie, which was “shown” at Armageddon. Dawn and Al continued their relationship and got married, but Al died on the honeymoon because of a heart attack as a result of too much sex or something. Then Torrie and Dawn fought at the wake. It was actually worse than it sounds.

I mean who the hell thought any of that was a good idea?

Torrie doesn’t fall on the Dawn Marie armbar. That could have been a broken arm right there.

Dawn Marie with a springboard clothesline! How about that. It didn’t look great though.

Torrie Wilson pins Dawn Marie in 3:36. Swinging neckbreaker for the win. Torrie and Dawn are not really wrestlers, so to expect anything more than a bad match would be unrealistic. We got that springboard clothesline so there’s that at least? At least this was short. Storyline is still horrid.

Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff meet backstage (where Bischoff was speaking to a still rookie Randy Orton). Steph tells Bischoff good bye, as Vince had given Bischoff 30 days to turn RAW around. Bischoff said he had a bombshell to save his job (which turned out to be Austin). Stephanie said she had a bombshell of her own (which turned out to be Hogan).

Sean O’Haire vignette! I still think he would have worked out if not for Roddy Piper’s involvement in the angle.

World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H© vs. Scott Steiner

Story: Steiner debuted at Survivor Series (as a face no less. Pretty sure that was the opposite of what the Big Poppa Pump character was about) and decided on RAW as his home. A part of the agreement was he gets a World Title shot.

The match actually has a solid start. Hard hitting from Steiner followed by a gorilla press slam. It would get worse though…

I hate Boston Crabs where the guy doesn’t sit on the back. That’s the point Steiner!

Steiner with a belly to belly suplex! He goes for the Recliner but Flair pulls HHH out.

Steiner is breathing HEAVY. He’s already exhausted.

Another belly to belly (kinda) from Steiner.

We get a weird Tombstone reversal sequence which ends with a botched HHH neckbreaker.

Steiner catches HHH coming off the top…for another belly to belly suplex.

Fans begin turning on Steiner….there’s ANOTHER belly to belly.

Another belly to belly. It’s clear Steiner has nothing else. Fans booing.

A sixth belly to belly.

Steiner goes for a double underhook suplex, and Steiner FALLS before the move is finished. Yikes.

HHH gets busted open by the leather part of the World Title.

ANOTHER BELLY TO BELLY.

Steiner doing his push-up taunt is like a NFL defensive lineman celebrating a sack when his team is down 30 points.

HHH tries to get counted out and DQed, but Earl Hebner won’t allow it. Steiner throws in yet another belly to belly while he’s at it.

Scott Steiner wins by DQ in 18:14. HHH finally uses the sledgehammer, forcing the DQ. Post match, Steiner destroys HHH and locks him in the Recliner. Crowd is dead for it. Match was historically bad, and has an argument for being the worst PPV World Title match ever. Scott Steiner was dreadful. There’s a reason he was a midcarder after this (although he did get a HHH rematch at No Way Out).

WWE World Championship
Kurt Angle© vs. Chris Benoit

We covered Angle’s story earlier. We’ll add here that this feud also involved the debut of Team Angle, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, which owned.

Benoit actually turned amidst all this as well, and became the #1 contender after being Big Show on Smackdown. Angle and Benoit were reluctant Smackdown Tag Team Champions back in October, and even had a match at Unforgiven as well. This was the end of Benoit the heel, as this face run would go through the rest of his career.

So, as all Benoit vs. Angle feuds go, it comes down to who’s the better wrestler?

Team Angle gets ejected quickly for trying to hold Benoit back.

Watching this match makes me feel that Steiner and HHH was in slow motion.

Benoit DDTs Angle on the apron! Nice.

Angle’s belly to belly suplexes are about 100 times better than Steiner’s.

This has been a non-stop action packed match from the get go.

Rolling Germans from Benoit…but Angle counters into his own!

Benoit re-counters!

I never got why Benoit did that snot thing.

Angle tosses Benoit off the top rope with a belly to belly!

Angle Slam attempt turns into the Crossface! Crowd is very into it. Angle survives though.

Benoit locks Angle into the Ankle Lock…but Angle reverses into his own Ankle Lock! THAT gets turned into the Crossface!

Angle counters a Crossface with an Angle Slam! Wow!

Another great false finish with Benoit countering a German with a victory roll.

Benoit gets a German…only it turns into an overhead release German where Angle lands face first!

Flying Headbutt 3/4th of the ring away!

Angle drops Benoit face first on the turnbuckles leading to another Angle Slam…but Benoit survives THAT too.

Kurt Angle retains by submission in 19:50. Angle counters another Crossface into the Ankle Lock. Benoit tries to escape, but Angle hangs on. Benoit does an amazing sell job here, screaming in pain. Angle grapevines the leg and Benoit is trapped, and taps out (makes you wonder why Angle didn’t always do that). I was blown away the first time I saw this 12 years ago, but it holds up today as well. Incredible match. This match was the match that showed Benoit could play an incredible underdog babyface, and he rode that all the way to winning the title at Mania XX (well, there was a haphazard team with Rhino in there). Just an amazing match. Benoit gets a standing ovation afterwards.

Kane and Rob Van Dam talk about how it’s every man for himself. This leads to a good spot later.

The Royal Rumble

#1 is Shawn Michaels. Jericho is supposed to be #2, but for some reason Christian shows up in the entrance way. Jericho attacks HBK from behind and beats the holy hell out of him. Jericho lays HBK out with a chair and HBK sells it like a million bucks. Chris Nowinski is #3, but he waits on the outside. Jericho beats on HBK a bit more then dumps him, to the horror of the crowd.

#4 is Rey Mysterio, and he owns Jericho for a bit. Nowinski finally gets in there to attack Rey from behind.

Edge is #5. Edge and Rey had been a team, so they natural work together. They eventually go at it though and there’s a false elimination that I think gets screwed up. I think Edge’s feet do hit the floor. No biggie though.

Christian is #6, for real this time. He tries to get on Edge’s good side to double team Mysterio. Edge spears him though.

Rey and Edge hit a double dropkick off the top to Nowinski, but the timing is off and I think Nowinski got hurt here as Edge’s leg lands on his face.

#7 is Chavo Guerrero. Good workrate early on for sure. Rey gets Nowinski out. Jericho gets out Rey. Great heat for Jericho eliminating HBK and Rey so far.

#8 is Tajiri. Crazy airplane spin on Chavo.

#9 is Bill DeMott. What a random push this was.

#10 is Tommy Dreamer. It’s Hardcore Rumble II! Dreamer accidentally legit cracks Jericho in the eye with a kendo stick, busting him open bad.

Con-garbage can lid-to on Dreamer! He’s gone by Jericho and Christian.

#11 is B2. Too lazy to super script here. He’s injured as John Cena turned on him on Smackdown. He lasts about 30 seconds. Jericho gets rid of Tajiri. Edge gets rid of Chavo. Jericho gets rid of Edge and Christian. Jericho is alone in the ring.

#12 is Rob Van Dam! A great near-elimination is in there, where Jericho barely hangs on.

Matt Strongly Dislikes Mustard. #13 is Matt Hardy! Hardy and Jericho double team RVD. Jericho takes a Five Star Frog Splash!

#14 is Eddie Guerrero. No reaction for Eddie…but boy would that change over the next year.

Eddie with a kinda botched Frog Splash there. Matt turns right on him and hits a Twist of Fate. Just in time for…

Jeff Hardy at #15! The Hardys did not get along at this point.

Shannon Moore tries to push Matt back into the ring with his feet. He then takes a Swanton for Matt! Shannon Moore was a great sidekick.

#16 is Rosey. Out goes the workrate.

#17 is Test. The Testicle marketing was just weird.

#18 is John Cena, and we get a whole rap on his way to the ring. He rhymes explain to ya and Wrestlemania. So there’s that. We get Latrell Sprewell and Mike Tyson references as well.

#19 is Team Angle’s Charlie Haas

RVD gets rid of Jeff when Jeff went to the top rope and RVD shoved him off.

#20 is Rikishi. Apparently he’s been in more Royal Rumbles than anyone else in history at this point. RIkishi’s spinning sell of the clothesline was already pretty good.

#21 is Jamal. Both members of Three Minute Warning are in there.

#22 is Kane. JR mentions no one has come close to Kane’s 11 man elimination record…even though the previous record was 10. He gets rid of Rosey on cue.

#23 is Shelton Benjamin. Both members of Team Angle in there now.

#24 is Booker T. This is the other possible winner I mentioned earlier. There were rumors he would win (which made sense since he eventually got the World Title slot at Mania against HHH), but Lesnar was the “safe choice”. In retrospect you had to do Lesnar for the story. But Booker was the dark horse.

Booker dumps Eddie!

#25 is A-Train. He immediately derails Cena, a precursor to the Tensai-Cena feud nine years later surely.

Shawn Michaels runs in and attacks Jericho, and it’s enough of a distraction for Test to eliminate Jericho. While this set up Jericho vs. HBK…what the hell was Test eliminating Jericho for? Weird choice there.

#26 is Maven. Not much to say here.

#27 is Goldust. It was pretty crazy Goldust actually got a full time run in 2002, but he wouldn’t last that much longer. He’d come back a lot later though. Charlie Haas eliminates him after about 40 seconds.

Team Angle surprisingly eliminates Booker T. Odd choice there too.

#28 is Batista with awesome music. He gets rid of Test and Rikishi.

#29 is Brock Lesnar! Team Angle double teams, but Lesnar sends them both out. Matt Hardy is F5ed onto them as well.

A-Train kills both Batista and Lesnar in one sequence. How weird does that seem now.

#30 is Undertaker. While the crowd pops, this was a pretty big disappointment. There were several promo videos about Taker coming back at the Rumble, but the first one hinted he could be the Deadman, and the second mentioned the Ministry. So there was hope he would be back in the Deadman character here.

Taker is the only man to have three #30 Rumble appearances I believe, ’97, ’03 and ’07.

Taker gets rid of Cena and Jamal. A great spot follows though, as Maven dropkicks Taker and immediately celebrates. Maven shocking eliminated Taker in this manner in 2002. Taker sends Maven out.

RVD, A-Train, Kane, Lesnar, Batista and Taker left. All the workrate didn’t make it.

RVD and Kane work together to get rid of A-Train. Then another great moment: Kane goes to slam RVD on Batista…only to toss RVD out instead! They foreshadowed this in their promo earlier.

Batista, Lesnar, Taker and Kane are your final four. Crazy final four considering what Batista would become later.

Lesnar and Taker almost mess up a hangman, and Taker almost goes over the top rope. Lesnar noticeably saves him.

Interestingly, Taker tombstones Lesnar here, but Lesnar’s head is obviously too high up. It’s interesting because the same thing happens at Wrestlemania XXX.

Taker clotheslines Batista out, then tries to convince Kane to double team Lesnar. Taker turns on Kane immediately (not a big fan of that either) and tosses him. Batista runs in with a chair but Taker takes him out and whacks him with the chair.

Brock Lesnar wins the Royal Rumble in 53:41, last eliminating the Undertaker. Taker says something to Batista, and Lesnar sneaks up behind him and dumps him. Taker shakes his head in disbelief and gives Lesnar props. I am not a big fan of this ending though and this only fueled the idea that HHH and Taker were holding people down (I’ve come to think Taker wasn’t really doing this though). Taker took out Batista twice, outsmarted his brother, and Lesnar could only beat him by a sneak attack? While there are certainly some good moments, the outcome was never in doubt and the Rumble itself, while fine, is mostly forgettable.

It’s rare that a Royal Rumble PPV is known more for the title matches than the Rumble match itself, but that is what happened here. HHH vs. Steiner is remembered for all the wrong reasons. Benoit vs. Angle for all the right ones. Having one of the worst World Title matches and best World Title matches back to back is quite the oddity. Steiner didn’t last too long as a main eventer and was a midcarder by Mania (and wasn’t on the Mania card!). Benoit eventually got to the top. So at least something went right there. The Lesnar win was expected obviously, but the finish was pretty weak. I love Undertaker, but that whole return was pretty weak as well, and there was no need to make everyone look bad there.

I’ll give this show a historical bonus though. Cena Royal Rumble debut. Randy Orton on PPV (his first time maybe? His first PPV match wasn’t until Summerslam I know that). Batista with his first top 4 Rumble finish (in fact, in every Rumble Batista has been in he ended up in the top 4). The Lesnar victory. These were small building blocks to the future.

Final Grade: B

Pro Wrestling

RDT Reviews WWE Royal Rumble 2008

(Note: I began reviewing pro wrestling PPVs on a message board since the advent of the WWE Network. These are not quite structured well, but more of a result of random notetaking).

Royalrumble08

2008 Royal Rumble Review
(Originally Posted on February 24, 2014)
January 27, 2008
New York, NY

Background: The WWE was in a transition period here as 2007 was far from their best year. John Cena, who had been the longest reigning WWE Champion in almost 20 years, suffered an injury that had him vacate the title and had him missing Wrestlemania. Hell, 2007 was basically the year of the injury. On the Smackdown side, Undertaker won his first World Title in 5 years and tore his pectoral, missing most of the year. Edge came in and snatched the title with a Money in the Bank Contract…only to get hurt byKane. This led to a Great Khali title reign best forgotten. On the Raw side, Triple H tore his other quad in January, and he wouldn’t return until Summerslam. I already mentioned Cena. Not injury related, but Rob Van Dam and Booker T also left the company.

We won’t even get into the worst 2007 tragedy, which was the Chris Benoit situation.

The ECW Brand had suffered through 2007 despite being an entertaining show. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t what original ECW fans had in mind.

Overall, WWE just had tons of issues.

Some new stars were coming up though. Mr. Kennedy, MVP, CM Punk, Umaga and John Morrison were making names for themselves. Some old favorites returned, such as Chris Jericho. 2008 looked like a bright year. With New Year’s Revolution gone, the Royal Rumble was the first PPV of 2008.

The Card

Michael Cole tells us that this is the first ever PPV that is in HD. I think that’s a bit crazy that HD was happening six years ago.

I love the tunnel entrance for MSG. Shame we’ll never see that again.

Career Threatening Match
Ric Flair vs. MVP

This was a few weeks after Vince McMahon told Flair that the next time he loses his career was over. This is one of those exceptions to the rule of a match being less interesting when you know who will win. We all know Flair is winning.

I do think this speaks volumes about how MVP was thought of, considering one of Ric Flair’s final matches was against him.

Flair starts out by telling NY how much of an honor it was to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. MVP interrupts.

MVP was pretty damn over as a heel. I’m surprised that he didn’t become a top guy, but I felt the same about Mr. Kennedy at the time too.

I wonder if Charles Robinson did all the late Ric Flair matches.

Ric Flair def. MVP by Submission in 7:48. Flair counters the Playmaker into the Figure Four. Pretty good match. Flair could still go even at 59 years old, and MVP was a good heel here.

We get some Vince and Hornswoggle stuff, as at this point he was still Vince’s son. He’s trying to get Hornswoggle to distrust Finlay.

Oh man Mike Adamle debut. Totally forgot this. He hypes up JBL vs. Jericho, which even today to me is a bit of a mind boggling feud.

Chris Jericho vs. JBL

Jericho had returned back in November as part of the Save.Us campaign, which led to a match with World Champion Randy Orton. Orton threw Jericho into Smackdown commentator JBL, and JBL cost Jericho the title. The angle took an extreme turn quickly, including JBL hanging Jericho at one point. JBL claimed that he was the real savior of WWE, not Jericho. This was also JBL’s return to active competition after retiring back in 2006. I like JBL and I like Jericho, but this feud really didn’t need to happen and I’m still confused on why it did, especially with a hanging angle in there.
The match is rather forgettable until the end, as Jericho goes nuts.

JBL def. Chris Jericho by DQ in 9:23. The match is rather forgettable until the end, as Jericho goes nuts. Wearing the crimson mask, he bashes JBL with a chair and actually hangs JBL back. Once again, this feud really didn’t need to be this violent.

We see Ashley Massaro trying to take to Maria. Santino is funny here. He’s Maria’s boyfriend, and he isn’t happy that Ashley wants Maria to be in Playboy.

World Heavyweight Championship
Edge© vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge had taken over Smackdown as the top guy in 2007, but injuries messed that up. He returned at Survivor Series and beat Undertaker and Batista in a three way match using the Edgeheads (Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins) as decoys to win the title.

There’s also a love interest with Edge and Vickie Guerrero, which I always thought was weird since he was with Lita two years prior.

Fans were not into Mysterio here, for some reason. Edge was one of the hottest heels the business had seen in quite a while, he was practically what WWE was hoping Randy Orton would eventually become. Edge gets cheered in his introduction. A “Let’s Go Edge” chant breaks out as well.

Mysterio does botch a couple of moves here. I wonder if he was hurting here, as he would do an injury angle at No Way Out and not even be at Wrestlemania.

Mysterio is getting booed out of the building here.

I think Edge tried to bust out a Brock Lock there. Match revolves around Mysterio’s knee.

Mysterio does some things I don’t remember him doing in other matches. A top rope double stomp for example. A sweet slide under the bottom rope into a Tornado DDT was also a great spot.

Edge def. Rey Mysterio by pin to retain the title at 12:34. There is a great finish here. Vickie comes out of her wheelchair to pull the ref out when Mysterio had the title won. Edge goes for a spear, but Mysterio dodges to go for a 619. Mysterio ends up hitting Vickie with the 619 as she was protecting Edge, distracting Rey. Rey goes for a springboard…something…but he’s speared in midair. That spot has been copied, but it was incredible to see for the first time. Good match, crowd though hated Mysterio and I don’t remember why. Maybe because of just how awesome Edge was at this point.

Kennedy is in Flair’s locker room congratulating him. Looks like he’s about to challenge Flair at No Way Out until HBK comes into the picture. HHH and Batista eventually join them, all talking about how the best man will win the Rumble.

Maria comes out to accept the Playboy deal. Somehow we get Big Dick Johnson dancing in Patriots 19-0 body painting. This was right before the Giants-Pats Superbowl. Anyway….

Mike Adamle with the classic Jeff Harvey line. But…it’s fixed! How disappointing.

Anyway, one of my favorite promo vids happen here for Hardy vs. Orton. Unfortunately, the music is different for the Network as well! Original theme was Rooftops by Lost Prophets. I don’t know what this is. Sigh.

WWE Championship
Randy Orton© vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff had been getting a megapush beginning in November, even beating HHH to get this title shot. Fans were very behind Jeff Hardy here, and I even believed he had a shot to win the title here. Orton was finally reaching his potential as a dick heel with that Viper focus and beginning his best two year run. He injured Matt Hardy in the build-up, and Jeff hit a Swanton off the stage the Raw before this.

Hardy gets a lot of near falls in this and the fans are with him the whole way. Orton is playing a great heel.

Hardy starts hitting some risky stuff, a flying bodypress off the apron comes first.

Orton even gets creative in his restholds. A leg grapevine and a headlock?

Jeff eventually hits a moonsault off the top rope onto the floor, which looked as sick as I remember it.

Randy Orton def. Jeff Hardy by pin to retain the title in 14:03. Orton and Hardy get back into the ring after the moonsault, and a Hardy Twist of Fate attempt turns into a RKO. I remember not being happy at the time, but the finish made sense. It showed Jeff could hang in a World Title match main event, and put over Orton’s RKO is a legit finisher that shouldn’t be kicked out of a billion times. Jeff’s time will come.

The Royal Rumble

We’ve got six commentators for this one.

At the time, the smart money was on HHH winning. Undertaker winning a 2nd in a row was also a popular choice. Mr. Kennedy was the IWC darkhorse that in hindsight didn’t stand a chance.

Also, it was assumed Big Show would return after being gone for a year.

Michael Buffer doing the “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” bit was great.

#1 and #2 were the last two of the 2007 Royal Rumble…Taker and HBK. Buffer introduces HBK as The Heartbreak Kid and not Shawn Michaels, which is a bit funny. Nonetheless, one of the all-time great starts and one of the little things that made the Taker-HBK rivalry that much better over the last two years of HBK’s career.

#3 is the comedy Santino spot…which had him trying to pretend to be as tough as Taker and HBK. He gets superkicked in 10 seconds and is gone.

#4 is The Great Khali. Gets the “You Can’t Wrestle Chant”. Taker eliminates him before #5. One great thing about this Rumble is HBK is on Taker at all points. Everytime Taker tries to eliminate someone, HBK is right behind him.

#5 is One-Half the Tag Champs, Hardcore Holly. John Morrison, half of the other Tag Champs follows at #6. Tommy Dreamer gets in at #7 to a good response.

Batista comes in pretty early at #8. Early face-off with Undertaker. They had feuded for most of 07. Dreamer tries to get involved, but he gets dumped by Batista for his trouble.

Hornswoggle comes in at #9…and just hides under the ring. People were worried he would be winning after that…

We get Chuck Palumbo at #10, who was doing a biker gimmick. An injured Jamie Noble is #11, who was feuding with Palumbo at the time. Palumbo gets rid of him quickly.

#12 is CM Punk, who a few days earlier lost his ECW World Title to Chavo Guerrero. He gets rid of Palumbo.

The other half of the Tag Champs Cody Rhodes is next at #13. He’s got awful music. This is when he was a meat and potatoes babyface.

#14 is Umaga. Umaga was an awesome monster heel at this point. Holly seemingly stiffs him with chops, but Umaga no sells and Samoan Spikes him over the top rope.

#15 is bald Snitsky. Not nearly as good at the monster heel thing as Umaga was. #16 is Morrison’s tag partner, The Miz. Some faint Miz chants in there.

JR at this time mentions that Morrison reminds him of a young HBK…but isn’t sure about the heart. Interesting. Seemed right on the money.

#17 is Shelton Benjamin, who does some really cool jumping spots, and gets superkicked out by HBK 20 seconds later.

#18 is Superfly Jimmy Snuka. Gets the legends pop. Takes out everyone. Taker does the headbutt spot where he hurts himself. Roddy Piper follows at #19, and gets a massive reaction. Of course, we get Snuka vs. Piper. Piper was recovering from Hodgkin’s Disease here, and it’s amazing he was in the ring at Mania 14 months later.

#20 is Kane, and he dumps Piper and Snuka, to the chagrin of the crowd. Carlito follows at #21. Him spitting the apple at Cody right away was a nice spot. I think at this point we were past Carlito being any more than he was.

#22 is Mick Foley, who gets a great New York response. Huge Foley chants. He looks pretty solid here.

We get Kennedy at #23, and he gets a solid reaction as well. Didn’t remember that Kennedy used that running kick in the corner than Zack Ryder uses.

Takes starts kicking ass at this point. We get Big Daddy V at #24. During that, Taker eliminates Snitsky, but HBK kicks Taker out right afterwards. Kennedy then tosses HBK. Just like that, we were sure HHH was winning. HBK and Taker put in a really good half hour.

#25 is Mark Henry…who at this point still hadn’t been a total badass yet. That transformation would happen this year (2008).

Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring and takes out the Miz, which was hilarious.

#26 is ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero. Shows how low the ECW title had come…as last year the Rumble winner was allowed to challenge for the ECW Title. Kane takes out Morrison. Hornswoggle tries to take out Cody Rhodes…but Mark Henry pulls him in. Finalyis technically #27, but gets DQed for jumping the gun. We lose Hornswoggle and Finlay here. #28 is Elijah Burke. Chavo takes out Punk…which is probably Chavo’s career highlight.

#29 is HHH himself, leaving what probably is the Big Show at #30. Crowd pops for the Game. Seems obvious at this point it was coming to Batista vs. HHH. HHH takes out Rhodes, Big Daddy V and Cody Rhodes. He also sends Foley out…who clotheslines Burke out at the same time. HHH hits a little bit of everyone waiting for #30.

#30 is one of the best surprises WWE has ever done, as a recently injured John Cena comes out. Cena was slated to not be back till April or May. Complete stunner.

Cena takes out Carlito, Henry and Chavo. HHH, Kennedy, Umaga, Cena, Kane, Batista left. HHH and Cena go at it. Batista ends the Kennedy dream, and takes out Umaga as well. Batista and HHH eliminate Kane, leaving Batista, HHH and Cena. All three do their taunts.

Batista dominates early, so much for stamina being a factor. Cena eventually counters a Batista Bomb, and HHH clotheslines Batista out.

I didn’t even realize pointing at the Wrestlemania sign was even a thing at this point. Fans are solidly behind HHH here. Some obvious back and forth here. They both tease finishers and knock the other down. Cena teases the FU (AA) elimination spot, but HHH survives. HHH goes for the elimination, but Cena counters for the FU, to which HHH counters into a pedigree, to which Cena finishes it off with a FU elimination. John Cena wins the Royal Rumble, last eliminating Triple H at 51:26.

Very good Rumble overall. HBK and Taker carried it early on. The Snuka-Piper spots were nice. It lagged a bit between HBK and Taker being gone and HHH showing up. Cena surprise, while I didn’t like it at the time, was one of the best surprises WWE had ever done. HHH and Cena were #29 and #30, and were the last two remaining, which is how it should be storyline wise.

Last Thoughts and Grade

From top to bottom this is a solid Pay-Per-View. MVP vs. Flair was solid. JBL vs. Jericho was okay, but not bad. Edge vs. Rey had some tough moments but made up for it with Rey’s selling (unless he was really hurt, which he might have been) and spectacular finish. Orton vs. Hardy was done well. Rumble was good, surprise was shocking. A lot of good to very good, but I would say nothing great.

Final Grade: B+